Good morning! Thursday morning blog! Forgive me for not posting yesterday! Sometime my day just gets away from me! No excuse! We are going to go back a few years! I am not proud of this time in my life, nor do I talk about it very often! But, being bipolar and not knowing about it, I really thought my behavior was not anybodies business! But, when a person takes a 500 degree turn around, question marks should pop up! Instead I was labeled, some not very nice names! Looking Back, I don’t even know that woman and how she could hurt so many people, the ones she wanted, and loved more than anything! After all, it was my life! No, no it is not! I am here to talk about these things by the grace of my Lord and Savior! My attitude about it was not nice! I already shared that I was married at 17, by choice! Doesn’t marriage and starting a family remove all of your problems and behaviors? Unfortunately I found out , delusional thinking! I am so happy I can talk about and share these things without all of that ugly baggage! I am not perfect, I am not proud, I am thankful and grateful! I really was good at fooling people! It took me a long time to get things right, forgive myself, ask God to forgive me and help me! I was 63 to be exact! Yes, sad I know! I could choose to live with regret, shame, guilt! What good would that do? I visit those things sometimes, regret is a big one! I lost precious time, that I will never get back! I have touched on that before! Be careful with your choices, when you think and believe you are not hurting anyone! You are deceiving yourself! It trickles down through the family! When trust is broken, it is very hard to get it back! When I divorced, I went to work in a bar, that’s where I was driving to, when I got the ticket from Denny! We connected when I went to work at Dunkin Donuts! This poem today just touches on how bad my thinking process was! I had a child, I ran around every night, like I was the only person in the world! Talk about regret! That’s my past, just a glimpse! I thought I was in love everyday! You can be addicted to people! I was not in a good place when I married Denny! We have had our struggles! But 42 years later! I am grateful for everything! I love this man, we made it through! God healed me , going through recovery, working through every detail! You really cannot get any more negative than wanting to end it all! When you believe you will never get past the pain! Guess what? You can! I’m actually excited when I go to bed at 8:00 pm! Because, I cannot wait to start the next day! Even facing Denny’s illness everyday, I choose joy and happiness! God has a plan for all of us! I want positive every minute of every day! My choices are healthy! Mentally and physically! I do it for me, the best me can give the best care to my husband! I have said it before, I am not perfect, Parkinson’s is not a nice disease! One day at a time! I will keep smiling for Denny and everyone who needs to see a smile! If you need help in any of these areas, do not hesitate to get help! Thanks for listening! God bless! Make it your best day ever!❤️🤗🤗❤️
Marilyn’s Heart 