Marilyn’s Heart

Good evening! Sunday blog! Remember Love Story? How the song started! Andy Williams! Where do I begin to tell the story of how great a love can be! That is classic, but, really never truer words! What attracted you? Is it still there! You have to keep it awake and going! Love and marriage is like a car! You have to fuel it! Often! Tuneups, oil, tires, and so on! Your marriage or partners, need to be told how valuable they are to your family! I am no expert! But, I do know that two wrongs do not make it right! Do you have your loved one right beside you! I am telling you, time is short, whether spouses or children! Grab the opportunities, what if you don’t get another chance? Can you live with that? Denny is staring at me right now, from a picture frame! I can touch the glass, not at all like skin! I can talk to him, no voice will come back! The sermon this morning was on marriage! You need three in the marriage, God is the head! No, I am not the preacher! I can speak from experience though! Denny and I made a lot of mistakes! Forgiveness is a big one, trust is also! Our love was just as ferocious as our arguments! I was sure we argued just to make up! But, time moves, all of a sudden, one gets ill, time mellows the heart! All of a sudden, roles are reversed! That was a tough one for Denny! He was the leader of the pack! When I close my eyes, I still cannot believe he is gone! Yet he is! Tomorrow will be three weeks all ready! One day at a time, one memory at a time! Gods promises are true! I grab them tightly! I’m telling you, take the time! I miss him! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️ I would like to start publishing my blog again,”Marilyn‘s Heart’”!With Christmas and a new year coming, family, food, gifts, all done and all carries on. People look at you and they think everything‘s OK but no one can look a new burden, no one can see the heart. When the tears start for whatever reason, no matter what triggers it it’s very real and it’s very painful. They really are people that think it should be over already. It’s never over. It will never be over. Someone has been in your life every day for ex amount of years. Truly, your brain feels like it can’t function and your heart feels like it will never beat right again, jumping out of your chest! January 27 it will be six years! I thought this was wiorth sharing, since we’re so close to the holidays! continuous prayers for all of you out there that found out that pain way too soon. God bless you, your family, your home, and all that has to be done without that special person in your life!🎄❤️‍🩹

WOW, oh how I miss you!💔

It has been awhile! My writing has been on vacation long enough! I miss my days of writing everyday! It was a form of therapy. But, truly, I am so tired at the end of the day, my phone falls out of my hand. There are a few that miss my writing. So, last Fall of 2022 I wrote this poem. It touches on how Denny and I felt with his diagnosis and progression of Parkinson’s! The many changes that took place along our journey together! I often wonder how some would act or even do for the safety of their loved one? Our house was big and old. It would have been very hard for me to maintain all of that once I was alone. So, Parkinson’s did not just take Denny. It’s took our whole life as we knew it, on Butler St. for 40 years. Material things can be taken at any given time! Not my memories! People cannot see them or take them! So, it is all mine. In my mind, heart and soul! Sleep well and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Our life took a turn, we did not see it coming, and illness like this, becomes very troubling. Day by day, life was not the same, a trip to the Dr. gave it a name. He said, it’s Parkinson’s, he could not tell, life might become a living hell. He could not help it, it’s know one’s fault, when all of the changes came about. Everyday when I looked in his, I saw the question, why? As time kept moving, change came fast, I always wondered, how long will this last? How painful it is, to watch someone you love, continually praying to God above. Please, keep him from suffering every day, till you call him to Heaven, with your great love. Amen

Good evening! A Wednesday night blog! I do mention our 1970 group to a lot of people. They don’t know what I’m talking about, they have never had a class reunion. My two children went to Waite. In 2019 when I started writing poetry I added this 50 Years Later!. I love you! You are like kin when we are together! Enjoy! Sleep well!

Good evening! Tuesday night blog! I am so excited to share this! A little book store in New Jersey, called The Reading Glass! They took notice of my book. It was selected to go to the fair, that is going on right now. Zoom in on the woman, she is holding my book. 2 boxes of my books went with them. The fair is 2 days! Then, my book will come back in a couple of days and will be at the L.A. International Book Fair! I am over the moon happy! Just knowing my book is on a trip, over seas! Then my book will be on the shelf at that book store for six months! God is good! The pictures are from London, e-mailed to me! Good night and God bless!🤗🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🤗

He received 39 stripes because 40 was known to kill a man. They wanted him alive. They held handfuls of his beard, and hair and pulled it out by the roots. They wanted him alive. They kicked, punched, and spit on him for hours. Until there wasn’t a single spot on his body not covered in blood. They wanted him alive. They shoved a crown of thorns down on his head so harshly it stuck in his skin. They wanted him alive.

After hours of being beaten, mocked, whipped, flogged, and tortured they made him walk with a cross. They made him carry it. A rough piece of wood with splinters digging into fresh wounds. They wanted him alive. They wanted him to feel every ounce of pain they could bring. He had to feel it in order to heal us.

Crucifixion was historically one of the cruelest most tortured deaths a human could face. Hours upon hours of torture. Torture most of us can not mentally think of because the cruelty isn’t normal. It isn’t something our minds can comprehend.

We celebrate Easter with pastel colors, happy children hunting eggs, and chocolate. Truth is there was absolutely nothing happy about the day Jesus died. It was cruel, bloody, and nasty.

He could have stopped all of it. He could have called every angel in heaven to demolish every person standing and shouting “Crucify Him!” He didn’t. He knew in order to have a Sunday you have to have a Friday. He knew in order to have joy you have to carry your cross.

He felt everything that day. He felt how your heart broke wide open when you had to watch your baby die. He felt how heavy your life was when you were staring down the barrel of a gun wondering if the man you called husband was going to shoot you. He carried the weight of the burden you have felt since your spouse died and life just doesn’t seem right since.

On that cross he held the rapist and murderers, the sinner and the saint. He leveled every playing field and said ALL of you are worth it. He knew he had to carry the cross. He never promised the cross you carry in this life would not be heavy. His wasn’t. His promise is that Sunday is coming.

No matter how heavy Friday is. Financially, emotionally, mentally, or physically. Friday is heavy. That cross is weighing you down and you are about to crumble under its weight. His promise was simply this. He won’t make you carry it alone.

What kind of king would step down from his throne for this? Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God did. For you. He did every bit of it for you and me. Oh yes it is heavy. So heavy sometimes you do not think you can take one more step.

But look up, because Sunday is coming. ✝️

Good evening! Tuesday night blog! I was so very excited and thankful, that I was invited and asked to share my story at the National Conference on Problem Gambling! After I settled in Wednesday evening, after supper with other Therapists and recovery clients like myself! When I got back to my room, I was praying and so thankful for my life of recovery! I needed to wind down! So, I wrote this short poem.

Thankful, 2/25/23,

Just a little trip with new friends I found, lots of information before I am homeward bound. Eight years ago, a new life came into sight, I knew what I wanted, I was in for a fight. Fight I did, for a whole new life. It all happened when I was still a wife. Time went by, as I learned more and more, my life would not be, as it was before. Life changed within my space, still some tears run down my face. Even tears were not the same, there really isn’t anyone to blame. I will keep living a positive life, just as if I was still a wife!

Good night and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Good morning, a Wednesday morning blog! I have not kept my gambling addiction a secret. I am eight years clean. Recovery has opened many doors for me. I have been invited by my therapist to share my gambling recovery story in Columbus. The National Conference On Problem Gambling starts tomorrow. I am sharing my story there. I leave today for 3 days! I am over the moon. Excited! I don’t mind asking for prayers and good vibes for travel. Recovery has brought many changes to my life where I am at today, all is good! My daughter was instrumental in helping and making me see my life in a whole new light! The conference is on addiction and family dynamics! Of course, I will be sharing along the way if I have time or it will be when I get back. Either way it will be an eye-opening experience. I am truly blessed so, I have to finish packing. You all have a wonderful day, be safe and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Good evening! A Friday night blog! January 27th, 2020! That date will forever be and stay engraved on our minds and hearts! Today is 3 years since the Angels came. Transforming our lives forever! This February 4th would have been 46 years! We all miss you Denny, Dad, Papa, Great Papa. Does that make sense? An unexpected thing happened yesterday. I cried all evening, until I was sick. Everything today seemed hard, because all I could think of was that day three years ago, what took place for 60 hours until his last breath! Replay, over and over! I was going to go to one of our favorite restaurants tonight, I just did not have it in me. Instead, I went over to Lake high school. My grandson plays basketball! Love watching him play all sports. I had my two great grandchildren today, that made it better! Our son and granddaughter were there! Our daughter always pays a special tribute to her dad, with the things he loved and the things that touched his life till the end! We all miss you so much! Thank you for all you gave from 1975 till 2020. Parkinson’s is a rough disease. It is very difficult to watch something take a person that you love, bit by bit! He was a trooper, he did not complain. Hold your loved ones tight and spouses tighter! In the blink of an eye! Good night and God bless!🤗🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🤗

www.facebook.com/reel/1329488771172831

Good evening, a short Monday night blog! January 27, 2020! This date is engraved on our hearts forever! Know one can tell you or prepare you for what it will feel like, when it happens. Then the mind is like a recorder, playing it over and over! Then the tears fall all over again! Until you are there, you will not understand! So, I found this quote tonight from Kelly’s Treehouse! I love reading these inspiring quotes! I cannot believe it’s going to be 3 years! Have a wonderful night! God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Are they still blowing? YES! Good evening, Saturday night blog! Time to get back into the swing of things! How I have missed writing and sharing! For those of you that are new to my social media, I will touch base a bit. My life has changed so much in the past 8 years! Our granddaughter married and gave us new titles, Great Grandma and Great Grandpa! Tuesday is my happy day with those beautiful babies! My husband had Parkinson’s for 7 years. Sadly he passed 3 years ago this month! 1/27/2020. On our grandsons B-day! I had a hip replaced, that makes 3 replacements. I walk everyday, weather and time permitting! I feel like it is a balancing act! We were married 42 years, lived in East Toledo for 40 years! We sold our home to bring Denny to the country, to be taken care of safely, also for our extended family and hospice needed safe parking. I am in my childhood home with my mom! Makes Maumee Bay nice and close! In that space of time, I wrote poetry about my life and ours together. Amazingly, it became a published book! I also entered a recovery program for gambling addiction. I have an amazingly loving, forgiving and accepting family. It got rough, but, we made it! I asked a good friend at church to take me to the minister for help! I was the first one to enter the new gambling addiction therapy at The Zeph Center. That anniversary was 8yrs. On January 1st. Fast forward, I have done a problem gambling video and it will air this month on local TV. A billboard is coming out next month, somewhere in Lucas County. 4 billboards of us from the center, one being the therapist and director. At the end of February I am going to the National Problem Gamblers Conference in Columbus! They filmed a video of me, to be played at the conference. Then I was invited to speak at this conference. I am beyond excited, honored and happy to share my story! So that is what I have been up to. Still cleaning houses, leaves me more tired than I ever was. Recovery was the best thing that ever happened to me with Jesus at the top of the list. He will give me whatever I need to carry on and help others! It allowed me to take care of Denny, that was my goal. Amen! So good to chat with you tonight. Good night and God bless!🤗🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🤗

Good evening! A Thursday night blog! I was downtown this morning with my therapist and one of the young therapists came in and asked me if I was still blogging! I felt guilty giving her my answer. I wrote consistently when I knew I was facing grief and I have written some since Denny‘s passing. I ran across this poem today. I thought very appropriate for all of us facing many kinds of grief, not just death! There were many stages of things in Denny’s and my life, seasons of change! Sometimes I forget and need reminders to keep moving forward in a positive direction. We need to take care of our minds as well as the body! Take each word to heart! Have a wonderful night and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Good evening, Tuesday night blog! Believe it or not, sometimes I just feel a loss for words! I don’t want to keep repeating myself or be a broken record! It has been a few weeks! My Denny has been gone now for 2 1/2 years! That is 30 months! Just saying the time frame to myself, stings my eyes with tears! I decided to write tonight, for a reason. I was driving, after half a day with the babies, my two great grandchildren. Denny “was a big DooWop fan and I am also. He loved “Twilight Time,”by the “Platters” we played it a lot while he was passing. I play it a lot. Today it came on, it took my mind back to the moment, he took his last breath. I had to pull off of the road, the tears came so fast. When that happens, there is no quick fix. Grief tears have to run there course! So, tears have been off and on all evening. I always recover. Staying busy is very helpful. Not everyone grieves the same, nor should they be expected to. It is a part of life. I have become big on speaking of love and memories. Regret can be very ugly! I miss him in ways that go all the way back to the day of the accident. When he gave me that ticket! We didn’t even know each other then. Don’t get lost in the busyness of life. It just adds more pain! Life goes on, I stay very busy. Tomorrow I am spending the day with my daughter, I cannot wait! Family time is still always the best, to keep a mind busy. My Denny had Parkinson’s for 7 years, my mental health was not that great. With my families help, I started therapy, which allowed me to take care of my husband. We had seven years to talk about the changes coming to our lives. Those who have loved ones taken quickly, might be left with regret! Take the time, while you have it. Regret is tough. Good night and God bless!🤗🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🤗

Good evening, Saturday night blog! By now, most of you know, my book is finished and in print! Barnes and Noble, online, Amazon, online, Books a Million, online. E-Book versions as well! It is now open to be sold at all stores, if the store wants to sell it. Online is fine. Most of my family so far, has found it, to be very emotional. I still cannot read it without crying. It takes a lot longer to get through it, if you have to keep wiping your eyes! The press release has given it very good reviews, with beautiful words! I will share that tonight! I wish Denny was here to see it! He heard most of the poems! The book is named after my blog! Some of the poems I shared on the blog, when I first started writing. I am beyond pleased to say, I wrote a book! Please tell your family and friends. If anyone has any ideas about proper promotion of my book, please message me, I am all ears. The sunrise was taken on my morning walk in 2018 and the sunset on the back was taken in 2020 by my daughter after my Denny, her father, passed away from complications from Parkinson’s! He has been gone over 2 years already. Time moves so quickly. I am sharing all of this again for my newest of FB friends! Most of the poems are about my life from an early age, my struggles, my family, Denny and I both struggled with bipolar disorder and all of the struggles that came after the diagnosis of Parkinson’s. Some are about Maumee Bay State Park, that is right across the street, where I walk almost every morning, depending on time, weather and schedule. I bake and clean homes for financial supplement. My life has changed drastically over the past several years, poems about that and life in general. Please drop me a line and let me know what you think I have broad shoulders, I can take criticism to. Lol! Above all, God is good and He receives the glory. I know Denny is with him. We miss him so much. Thank you everyone! Have a good night and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Good evening, Sunday night blog! It has been awhile! It has been over 2 years without you! I still struggle to remember exactly what I said, knowing everyday that your journey was getting closer! Then it happened, at 2:00 am, January 25, 2020, your journey started! 60 hours later your struggle was over! But, for all who loved you dearly, our struggles began! Do not be too busy, do not be too tired, especially, do not be in a hurry! My family and I would give anything if we could say I love you, one more time! We wish our ears could hear him say I love you, one more time! It was 47 years on May 17th, we became engaged! 1975. What a romance we had! Married in 1977! I cannot drive this point home enough! Take the time! Regret, is an awful thing to live with! Good night and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

For you, for me! Nothing else matters! Good morning! A small Easter blog this morning! I know how easy it is to get all caught up in peeps, peanut butter eggs, etc. nothing else matters! I try to keep the cross before me. Then I remember, you cannot do that in your own strength. Jesus holds me in the palm of his hand. When I think of “Jesus” that dark Friday, tears run. I am a mom, my children hurt themselves growing up, it gave me pain to see them like that, and I could not fix it. Think of Mary that day, I can hardly bear it. God is never to blame for what you are going through, sin is. Jesus bled and died that Good Friday for you and me! Whatever you do today think of Jesus and what happened that weekend. Happy Easter to all, enjoy your families and friends. This is our third Easter without Denny. Guess what? It is still Easter! Stay safe and well! God bless!💜✝️💜

www.facebook.com/100000375010317/posts/5185035798185536/

Good evening! Monday night blog! I have been in a very long drought! It has been like someone turned me off and I didn’t know how to get back on. My daughter was concerned, my short term memory has been suffering. I went to the Dr. told him everything. He was not that concerned. Of course age was mentioned first, then the grief process, is still going on. I work outside the home now, I have a lot on my plate. It is what it is. I will not be defeated. There is a lot of good going on, on my plate. Problem gambling sometime back, was using actors to reach out to problem gamblers. It was decided that real people with real recovery should shoot video commercials. I was one of the invited. On Wednesday, the 2nd of March, I treated myself to hair, mani and pedi. On Thursday the 3rd was the shoot. It was so cool. They all laughed and said her hair is perfect, we only have to do her make up. LOL! They took a lot of pictures, outside also. Commercials will air in April! My book is heading to publication this week. The front and back cover design is finished. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder to myself, girl, you have been through a lot. I’m still smiling, I still cry, it still hurts. Sometimes I say, to God and myself, I can’t believe I don’t have a husband anymore, I don’t have our house anymore, where I cooked and baked for all holidays and Denny loved it, our yard where I planted flowers, our pool, where we had parties and summer fun. I miss it all, and yet, I have overcome so much. I choose overcomer over survivor. A survivor is someone who suffers an attack and lives to tell about it. An overcomer is someone who suffers an attack, then rises up and defeats his attacker. 1.Survivors are victimized. Overcomer’s are victorious. 2. Survivors have wounds. Overcomer’s have scars. 3. Survivors are peace keepers. Overcomer’s are peacemakers. 4. Survivors go through the fire and live in constant reference to how they were burned. Overcomer’s go through the fire and don’t even smell of smoke. Are you an Overcomer? Choose life! Today is a good day to be an overcomer. Go after greater things, not only for yourself, but for your God! Bring others out of survival mode, to fight for more and inherit the promise of real life! Grief is not punishment, it is a God given feeling. Love lives on and it hurts, in a different way everyday! I am not a victim, I am a wife, and my husband was taken before me. I cannot tell all of you enough, appreciate what you have in front of you. It all can be taken in a a moment. Don’t leave your situation, learn how to overcome, be victorious with each other. If you don’t and one is taken quickly, the pain will feel like you can never overcome. That simply is not true. We all have the ability to rise above, if we want to. I wanted to and I still am. With God, all things are possible! With God I want the best version of me to continue. I am a better person for having been Dennys wife for 42 years! It is our story that I want to keep sharing. Denny and I are Overcomer’s in the midst of adversity. It made who we were together! Thank you God! Good night and God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Bloganuary: A Resounding Success!

Bloganuary: A Resounding Success!

— Read on en.blog.wordpress.com/2022/02/02/bloganuary-a-resounding-success/

I do not always look to check things out and this is the first I have seen and heard of the bloganuary! I write Marilyn’s heart Marilyn’s story! I have a book coming out this spring that has been taken from my blogging of poetry!

Tears have not stopped! Pain has not stopped! Love has not stopped! Life has not stopped! My will to keep moving forward in a positive, healthy way, will never stop! I will continue to love you and tell of you and our special love until my heart stops! Praise God! How I do miss you!

❤️Dennis Wayne Reed 1943-2020 ❤️This photo is so special. ❤️1 week before he left for heaven!❤️❤️

Good evening, Monday night blog. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record. After you become a widow or widower, what is the time frame for grieving? Simple, there isn’t one. There are people that think it should be finished in such and such a time frame. Until you are there, and I still cannot believe that I am part of that group, you will not understand what a person is saying. It’s like being tired, you are yawning, you just don’t know how many times. Well, you can start your day, it doesn’t bother you at all to see the pictures still hanging. Turn on Christian radio, there’s a song from the funeral. Turn on Oldies music, you listened to, there’s your song, that had so much meaning! Then, the big ones, the special calendar days. Our birthdays, our anniversary, holidays that had all of the fixings, with all of the family. Then COVID came along and took that. Emotions go up and down like a yo-yo. I still love to bake, Denny was my taster. I miss baking for him. He loved watching our grandchildren run around our house. The house is not ours anymore. Our grandchildren are almost finished with high school, then off to college. We now have round three, great grand babies, how fun it would be doin it together. Now mind you, I am not feeling sorry for myself. Actually, I function better than I thought I would. I still put God first, no matter how much emotional pain might be lurking around, I still go to my church, I work, I bake, I babysit, I still walk, I still touch base with my therapist, I keep my Dr. appointments, I take my meds, I have somewhat of a social life. This is the first I have had this much hair in 10 years, I keep it fixed, I put my make up on everyday, even if I am not going anywhere! This is my life without Denny. I think of it as oiling my machine everyday. It’s not time for me to break down and become rusty. What happens if you become rusty, you cannot move and you give up. Life goes on. I miss him everyday. It never stops. These 7 words bring me to tears. When I write about Denny and the life we had, tears. I just do not stay there. The amount of tissue I go through…………..I have a burden for widows, in Gods timing. At the end of the day, I look at his picture, I tell him, I still cannot believe you are gone, that it’s going to be 2 years. I cannot wrap my head around that. I was blessed to have such a good man for 42 years. There is not enough room to write all that he did for his family. Our children and grandchildren feel the same way. The best part of our whole story as a family, nothing can take our memories. Denny Reed, the mold was broken after you. I love you forever, till heaven! Good night, God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

marilynsheart.art.blog/2022/01/13/a-walk-down-memory-lane-with-denny-reed/

www.facebook.com/426823251385480/posts/1073588443375621/

Good evening, Sunday evening blog! Can anyone of us believe how fast time goes. In 18 days, it will be 2 years that Denny has been gone from my sight! 3 walls in my room have him everywhere. I can sit in here all day if I want, stare at his pictures, talk to him, I’m fine. But, a certain song, thought of a trip. Tonight, I am feeling grief. I miss that man so much. The sound of his voice, those blue eyes. I always recover. Most all of you know about my blog, my poetry, which will be a published book sometime this Spring. I am very thankful that almost every poem was written while sitting next to him. After every poem, I would read it to him and mom. The 3 of us would cry. Truly I could hardly believe my own words. Mom would say, where is that coming from? Denny would just stare at me, but his smile told me a lot. Denny knew before he passed that a publishing Co. had accepted it. I knew he was pleased. He was a man of few words. The reality of it did not start until after his passing. It is dedicated to him. I had a lot of emotion being in my childhood home, after leaving our home of 40 years in the city. My mind was spilling with memories of my childhood, Denny’s and my life, my family, children, grandchildren, and my 2 great grandchildren, which I consider my crowning glory! They are a blessing, beyond words! God knows what He is doing, giving us a precious new life while taking one. A beautiful baby boy on my birthday while taking Denny. I truly do believe in the circle of life. Denny has left quite a legacy. If God ever allows me to speak about my book, it will be about him and the life he gave me. His love, forgiveness, dedication to his family. I have not spoken to one person since his passing, that did not say, what a wonderful man he was. We learned some valuable lessons from each other and the time spent in this bedroom, caring for him together, with our children and our hospice angels! For the most part, I do alright, even through COVID. We survived, allowing us to be together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, this past year. I work almost everyday. I do go to dinner with friends, I take long rides, I have been out to listen to a local band, that I like and have also made some new friends. There is survival after the death of a spouse, and it hurts like the broken heart, that will never heal. Yet, life goes on. God is still and always will be good. I falter, but, my eyes are on God and his promises and blessings. I will be with Denny again. It will be so much better than earth. The beach in Aruba that we did not get to see, we will walk the beach in heaven, for eternity! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening, January 3rd, 2022! My sobriety date from gambling addiction. I still see my therapist a couple times a month. It’s good to touch base about everything and talk.

Good night, God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Sunday night blog. Oh here it is, Christmas time! Growing up here in the country, just like any other child, I only cared about what I might be getting. I cannot recall ever believing in Santa Claus. I was a nosy child and usually found my gifts before they were wrapped. I suspect my children did the same. Now, all of these years later, I know the reason, for the season, and so did Denny. I was saved on Dec. 21st 1980 over a Christmas tree at our friends home, Jerry and Wanda Holliday. Denny was saved 2 years later, Jan. 1982. I believe it was the same week our Paster Marty lost his Father. The senior Marty and Denny were the same age. That shook him up, and he went to the alter! Now, even though the meaning of Christmas has not changed, this will be our 2nd Christmas without him. The past couple of days he has shown up quietly. My daughter had a similar experience this week. She said look for the little things. Last evening I pulled out my Christmas card basket, looking for some Christmas stickers. Right there on top of that basket was my last Christmas card from Denny. I fell apart. Our daughter was his elf the past couple of years before his passing. Denny had perfect printing before Parkinson’s took almost everything away from him. So I asked mom if she had any Christmas stickers. She had a Christmas bag that was filled with lots of gift bags, wrapping paper and ribbon. In between the gift bags was a gift, an 8×10 picture of Denny and I at the Beach Boys concert at Centennial. I looked at him and said, where did you come from? I ran and showed mom. I said, look what I found in the bag of gift bags, a GIFT!

Our daughter is right, her positive attitude about these things is a gift. Look for the silver lining. I miss him so much. God for bid any of you facing this or have already faced it. Some people actually think that and say, it will get better with time. Not true. It’s a gaping hole. Don’t get me wrong, I have a life, but, in the down time, especially before bed. So, December brings a lot of thoughts about our life together and what God has done for our family. Jesus is the reason for the Season! We must never forget that! As painful as that last Christmas was, I count it a priveledge and honor to have taken care of him. Our children were angels helping me, and of course, there will never be enough good words about hospice. All angels. So, if you find yourself complaining about your love, stop, and smell your roses, the sweetest of smells! Right in front of you. I am so happy that all of Denny’s scars are gone in heaven. Love that song from Casting Crowns! Someday we will be on those streets of gold forever! It is my wish for all of you to seek and find the magic of Christmas. Don’t miss it, you will have to wait a whole year. God is good. I am blessed beyond measure. Denny was special, he left his mark wherever he went! So this holiday season, look at each other in a whole new way. Time is so short. And I will always thank God for the gift of Denny. Good night! God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Good evening! Friday night blog! Wow, the past couple of days for my sister and I were rough, with mom! Every Fall or Winter, she gets a bad case of bronchitis! I knew it was coming on. I had an appointment with my therapist and we talked about mom. All good. I checked on her before my B-12 shot. She became worse through the day. I took her to the hospital. My cousin came along with a migraine, she needed a shot. It was packed, so many sick. Her COVID test was negative. No meds last night. The pharmacy’s were closed. I came back this morning, from walking, mom was a sick wreck. She could not breathe and she had a life alert around her neck. Long story short, the squad came and took her to the hospital, she had anxiety on top of being sick, she could not breathe! She is home, with medicine in her! Quietly sleeping in the Lazy Boy. Thank you Lord! We had some scary moments. I do believe she is on the mend. So count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your many blessings and see what the Lord has done! Check on your family. God is good! Good night! God bless!🤗🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🤗

Good evening. Monday night blog! My book is finally becoming a reality. Sometimes I have to pinch myself, is this real? My name on a book? I just sent an e-mail with my final approval on the editing. This has been a lengthy process. But, it’s done, then off to publication! I am speechless when I think about it. Yes, I have pinched myself, is this real? Soooooo, in light of wanting to continue writing, I have a lot of ideas. But, only one publication at a time. I have 15 new poems! It is all in Gods hands! He will give me what He thinks I need! During all of this editing business, I have had to read and reread all of my poems. You wouldn’t think that I would still cry, yet I do. The words take me right back in every moment. There are also very joyful moments in my poems. Love and loss are joyful and painful, depending on where you are in your relationships. Then, there is the continued grief. It will be 2 years in January! I cannot even wrap my mind around that. It seems like forever and yet like yesterday. I miss him, I miss talking to him. I really miss his voice. Somethings you just do not have any control over it. I work 6 days a week. Tuesdays will always be my dates with Lukey and Taytum! Whatever unbalance I face. When I see them they set my world right and straight. The circle of life is amazing. It’s all about balance. If the scale tips too far, it will topple over. That can be painful, and sometimes you have to start from scratch all over again. The one very important thing, do not give up. And whether you are still with your spouse, whether you are alone, do not give up! There is always light at the end of the tunnel. I see a little bit more light every single day Jesus holds my hand. Remember there is always two choices, stay positive! Don’t ever be ashamed to ask for help. Good night! God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Where is time going, it passes so fast. I wanted our love to forever last! Time does not stop, not for anyone. I’ll look for you always, in the setting sun! Up in the sky, I search every cloud, I become overwhelmed and I cry out loud! I cry your name, no one can here, then I remember, my God is near. He whispers my name right to my ear! God says I know the pain that you are in, God says give it to me, don’t make it a sin. Look for the promises, I have placed everywhere, look all around you, show people you care. Let your tears flow, if they must, fall to the ground, on your knees, in the dust. Look to me, your God on the throne. You have to know, you are never alone. I am right beside you, where ever you go, keep moving to the finish line, once you reach heaven, then everything you will know! Marilyn Bodi Reed. 8/17/21

Good evening! Sunday night blog! I am still hoping and praying that my book will be out before the holidays! I did talk to the publisher. She said one more week of editing, and it will be sent to me for approval. Once I approve it, publishing will start. There are 114 poems in my book as well as a couple of other things. I am already writing more poems for a second book. Good night, God bless!🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Good evening! Saturday night blog! My last two days have been very teary! With my 50th Reunion already in the past! Time moving so fast. There are times I have to pull off of the road and just let the tears run its course. I think by now everyone knows or has heard of Casting Crowns hit song, “Scars In Heaven” I love that song! If you have not heard, pull it up on your device! It is worth the listen. We all have regrets after someone is gone, taken, way to soon. It will be 2 years in January that Denny has been gone. I cannot even wrap my mind around that. But, the song, if we had known, we would stay a little longer, hold on a little tighter. We did all of that, but, when their gone, it doesn’t seem like it was enough. That song just tears at my heart. In one aspect, it gives me peace. Another aspect, it tears my heart out. No time left. Once their eyes close for all of eternity……………Sometimes I struggle trying to remember what our last words were before we fell asleep, that Friday evening of 1/24/20. I know for sure, good night, I love you and get some sleep. I hope my story tonight can help someone. Some are struggling through that kind of pain right now! Take the time right now. Tomorrow is not promised, it is not a given. I only see his blue eyes in pictures, forever in a frame. In the blink of an eye, they can be gone. But, you have to hold onto the peace, that passes all understanding. Denny had deep scars that never went away, until he reached heaven. No more pain, mental or physical. The song is a great reminder to take extra special time with loved ones while they are here. The song also says, once Jesus touches you, no more scars, only His. Denny slipped into a coma that night. He kept breathing for 60 hours after I woke that night. Our prayer was please let him hear everything we are saying. Prayers, music, bible verses and singing. Each one of us having alone time with him, so each one of us could get some rest. I know the grief will never go away or be gone. It’s just a different, maybe less. But, it does come calling whenever it wants to. We are all going to face something someday. We do not get to pick or choose. It is all in Gods hands. Take that special time. You won’t pass that way again. For me that can only happen with my Lord, Jesus! That which did not break me, has made me stronger. Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! I soooo miss writing every evening! Although cleaning houses everyday keeps me busy. I do not consider it hard work, but, in the evening when I sit down, my eyes want to go shut. If I don’t go to sleep early, I cannot walk early. It has to be early to leave me enough morning time! Sometimes, just not enough hours in a day. I wrote this poem in 2019 thinking about the events to come. My Denny was still alive when I wrote this, but Covid put us a year behind and this was my first reunion alone. But, I was not sad, I was with him for his 50th! He was with me in spirit! It was absolutely a wonderful and beautiful weekend. I do want to thank all of you for all of your love and kind words this past weekend. It is wonderful to know how people care for you in thought! I do believe that I was placed in the best class ever. So this poem is full of my thoughts as a child, being sent off all by myself. I’m sure you can all relate. This poem is in my book. It is in editing right now. As soon as I approve that, it will be sent to publishing. Still hoping for it to be here before the holidays. I hope you enjoy my words and thoughts. Good night and God bless.🤗🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🤗

When school starts at the age of five, some are scared, and some come alive! Put in a room with so many strangers, not one thought of the dangers! Listening to one person, all day long, my feelings of staying home we’re very strong! How is a child supposed to know, how to act in school, before they go! Then, there’s the big yellow bus, out in the country it came, all of the neighbor kids knew each other by name! Our lives would never be the same! Some of you became the best of friends, and never wanted school to end, some of us stayed afraid, never joined in, as the other children played! Of course we all grew up, going our separate ways, some went to college and chose a career, some stayed in contact, with ones they hold dear! Some got married and moved away and decided that’s where they would stay! As our 50th reunion approaches fast, all of us can’t wait, to talk about the past! Many of our classmates are already gone, to not give honor to them, would just be wrong! As 2020 will be here before we know it, let’s appreciate each other, and really show it! I think about all of you every day, and how Facebook friendship brought you back to stay, I look at your pictures, I read your posts too, class of 1970, oh how I love you! Marilyn Bodi Reed 6/18/19

Good evening, Monday night blog. I am writing poems again. I have 10 already. Life after Denny! I miss him so much. Maybe I will have another book. Who knows! My mind gets so tied up in emotions and words. It helps me putting it on paper. I wrote this in April of 20 after Denny’s passing. Thinking about him in heaven. After he passed, I started referring to him as Angel Wings. I hope you like it.

My dearest love in heaven, I won’t ask how you are! I only look up and see the brightest star! In my mind, I see such a brightness and every cloud, such a likeness! You look perfect, with your dark and wavy hair, your skin is so golden, you shine everywhere! Your eyes, still so blue, bluer than before, blue as the sea, crashing the shore! The light of Jesus is everywhere, nothing on earth could ever compare! The brightest of light, sun, moon and stars, God has promised it will always be ours. No feelings in heaven, just eternal love, I know it’s true, when I see a dove! Clothed in white, with beautiful wings, God has promised all of these things. Running all over on streets of gold, oh the heavenly stories, that could be told! The banquet table, ready to eat after you fall at Jesus feet! Angels and harps playing everywhere, who of us would not want eternity there. The only peace I have, is that you were made whole again, as you passed over to the other end! Thinking of you there, gives me a smile, I wish I could go and sit with you a while. Nothing on earth do you miss, living with Jesus, oh what bliss. You keep floating in all of that glory, when I come to be with you, that will be the end of our story! Marilyn Bodi Reed

Good night. God bless.🤗❤️🙏🏻❤️🤗

Sunday night short blog! Just wanted to tell everyone, good night and God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday evening blog. Let’s see if I can get back on track. What’s your dream or dreams? Remember, it is only to late when you are no longer breathing! I have a bucket list. Some of my dreams will cost money. Discipline, will get me there. If you have dreams, they are attainable. I started school, a week ago. Two nights a week, four hours each. No questions, just be excited for me. You are never to old to learn and change one thing at a time. If your hurting, if you don’t like something, the way you are, the way you look. No one can do, change, or put any thing in place for you. Only you. I am so very content with the different choices in my life. Some I didn’t want, some I did. I am not against crying, healthy tears sometimes, that won’t take you backwards. For those of you wondering if I am ok physically, I am. I was in pain again and sick stomach, and dehydrated. My Ibuprofen was taken away, now a reflux pill. Maybe a virus, who knows. I do not want or need an ulcer. I am in Gods hands! He is the ultimate life changer, if we let Him! The rain is truly cramping my walking style. I did walk this afternoon, not my favorite time of day, but I did it! Life is moving so fast! The middle of July already. In six months, Denny will be gone two years. That can’t be right, but yet it is. I still find it hard to believe he is gone from us. My mind can go negative and sad quickly. I only let it last a moment. My self still moves forward and I keep moving in the positive light. Went to a Grape Smuggler concert last Saturday night, outside in a park. Our good, good school page administrator invited me. So much fun and laughing. I try to see humor a lot, laughter is always good. Mom and I can have some friction, in the end, we are always laughing about something. Our one year late reunion is this fall. A whole weekend event. I cannot wait, 50+1 is what it is being called. Our entertainment, The Grape Smugglers! I am becoming a follower. They are good. I have a full plate with evening school, I had to free up a couple of days. Can’t be falling asleep at school! Lol! My book is coming along nicely. Somehow I had 37 poems in a different folder, that were not sent. Talked to them right away, overnight the poems. They are already on there way for editing. 117 poems of our life, about our life. I am so excited. Writing has become very relaxing and therapeutic for me. I started with journaling in 2014. So much has happened in such a short space of time. Through my very young years, a boat adrift, just a dreamer. Now I make plans and try to see it come true. If it doesn’t happen right away, the next day, is a new day! I have so many notes written to myself, I could get lost in paper. What did you dream about through your life? It’s not to late! Pull those dreams out, dust them off, tackle one at a time. If I can do it at 68, I say, go for it! The big one that stops us in our tracks, FEAR of failure. I used it as an excuse every time, saying, nobody understands. I’ll say it again, the Nike slogan, “Just Do It” my favorite. Who cares what people think. Think what they will think, when you achieve. That puts a smile on my face! God has His arms around me. I rest in that comfort everyday. My little Tuesday man is the highlight for me. His baby sister will be here before you know it! My youngest grandchildren are almost adults. Where did time go? Let me add quickly, my children and I watched our beloved husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, for seven years as he made his journey to heaven. I really want to make my minutes count. When I am called home, my wish is for them to see, I did not let life take me down. I will be your biggest cheerleader! Get out there and make a big memory! Good night. God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday night, not blog! I have been feeling guilty about not blogging. I love the blogging I have done. I am full time cleaning homes and 2 businesses! Still walking, trying to squeeze in all of my appointments and Tuesday will stay my highlight, Lukey💙and baby sister on the way!💗I just need a different schedule to squeeze in blogging. I sent 37 more poems to be in my book. Don’t give up on me, I will be back! Sleep is important also. Lol! God is good! It will all get done! Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Tuesday blog. I still cannot believe sometimes, that Denny is gone. Like a cruel joke. No matter where I am or what I am doing, hot tears sting my eyes quickly. It’s not that I am not doing well, I am. I walked out of the grocery store, pushing my cart, the sun, the breeze. Tears and I think, when I was young, I never considered I would be alone at this age, 68. Sometimes it’s just a bitter pill. God is giving me a good life. I know He is watching over me! God opened my eyes to many things before He took Denny. In my heart I know I am going to be ok. But, missing the person and all of it as a whole is just overwhelming. I am a crier by nature, so it does not take much. A friend of mine posted this, it came up in my memories. I would like to share it again. This should serve as a reminder to all that take life for granted. I was one of those. The quick sting of tears brings it back quickly. I miss him. Don’t take it for granted. It can be gone in an instant. God is still good. He has me. Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Saturday night blog. I don’t think it’s a big secret to anyone, how you feel when you lose someone. You wish you had said more, did more. If you think of something, do it. Don’t put it off. Time passes so quickly. Denny left us good memories. But, I am greedy, I wanted so much more. While you are wondering how many times should I smell that rose? The petals are falling. My dad was placed in a home as a baby. His real father walked away from a dying wife and 4 babies. His adopted family was older than him. So, I have a cousin down the street in her 90’s. The family asked if I would clean for her. I said yes. She lost her husband 4 years ago, a disease that took him quickly. She misses him so much. We had good conversation. I did the cleaning, I was also the one who walked away blessed. I got to talk with my 2nd cousin, her son and his wife. I found I was quite hungry for some conversation. She talked about her husband and I talked about Denny, no surprise there. She asked me questions about my walking , cleaning, throw in losing a husband, COVID last Fall and emergency surgery. The big question how on earth do you do it? The grace of God, it is sufficient. She agreed, yes, with God. Every 2 weeks, I see us having good conversations about family and life, as it comes. God and God alone is my source for keeping sane in an insane world. Every morning I put my hand in His. He walks and He talks with me and tells me, I am His. I am secure, no matter what I face. I can rise early everyday, I know He has me in the palm of His hand. You cannot be anymore secure than that. Everything that’s in and not in my life God has it, so I do not have to worry. He is the key to my future. Good night. God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Monday night blog. Sharing this quote from a friend. We need to be reminded. Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Thursday blog. I love working all day, it really keeps my mind busy so I don’t wander all over with memories, like his birthday. I thought I was doing good, I read everyones post about his birthday. I was ok. I read about my daughters giving in her dads name today. I was ok. Until, Andrea Bocelli started singing Sogno! Oh, Wow, I lost it fast. A good hour in the car sobbing. Thank God for red lights and trains. One more thought for those of you that hate Birthdays. I bet if someone could ask Denny how he felt about Birthdays, he would say, I wish I could go back for one more with my family. Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Wednesday blog. Birthdays are a big deal to me! Always have been. I really do not like to hear, it’s just another day or, I stopped having Birthdays. There is no pleasing everyone. Back in the 50’s and 60’s money was not plentiful for most. We, my sister and I, always had a homemade cake. Sometimes mom hid our cake. Coming home from school, we did not think we had anything. Is that a sense of humor? It is comical now. Not gifts, our B-days, my sister and I, are close to Christmas! If I heard of a B-day party, I was jealous. You learn and you grow over the years. I vowed my kids would have Birthday dinners. They did. I still make their favorite treats, and a gift or gift card! My point tonight, the birth of a person is a very big deal. It is the day God chose for you. Only He can give life and take it away. One of my favorite verses in the Bible, Jeremiah 1:15, if this does not make you or tell you, or speak to you, it cannot be made any plainer. You are special! Tomorrow, June 3rd, 1943, my Denny was born. It seems unreal that he would have been 78 tomorrow. I never thought of him as an older person. He was 9 1/2 years older than me. He always had a special B-day from me and the kids. I sooooo miss doing those things. Always fun gathering with the family. If God sees fit to bless me with a home of my own someday, I will do it again. I miss him beyond measure. He also did the same for me. My favorites, pizza, a decorated cake, a gift and family! He had a wonderful big and golden heart. I’ll have to do something to honor him tomorrow. You are all special in Gods eyes. He is the only one I care about and the special day He chose for me and my family. Precious in His sight. Don’t any of you forget that when you are having a down day. Grief still comes, Gods love and perfect peace are forever. I am living proof. Thank you dear Lord for your hand on my life! Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! I am not whining. But, working almost everyday cleaning houses. I love it. Lukey Tuesday. If someone wants baking in between, I do not like to say no and of course it is extra income. Bills did not stop when Denny’s life did. With the things I have to do, I am learning how to do, every step of the way. Life does not stop. In between all of my wanting to learn to be a responsible adult. That does not happen overnight. In between all of that life, grief comes calling whenever it wants to. That takes time to handle properly and in a healthy way. My two day getaway was wonderful. Great room and bed, great food and most and best of all, great company with my family and their family on the other side. To me, we are all family and connected! My first wedding since Denny passed, it was rough. Ave Maria was sung by our granddaughter at Denny’s funeral and at this wedding. I love the song, but I lost it. That’s why I love waterproof mascara. I just want to be in a better place with myself. Accept what cannot be changed. To not just love my family, but to love and be lovable. To love all of mankind. I want to keep smiling no matter what I face. In the end, I want to leave this world with grace and the name of Jesus on my lips. Denny’s passing and how it was handled by him and our love surrounding him, spoke loudly to all of us. I learned a lot in that 7 years. I want to keep on learning. I do handle a lot in a day. I still believe in looking and tackling one thing as it comes. We all know when we look at the whole picture it is overwhelming! There really is two ways to handle everything, including death. Since we do not know how we are leaving this world, we need to be walking and talking in grace. None of us is perfect. I have had to live with me a long time. I know I am not. God is the only judge, we have no right what so ever to look down our nose at anyone. Someone please correct me if I do. I want to see only beauty in all humanity and living creatures. If we keep our eyes and ears open, we might learn something. I do not want my head in the sand, even if it hurts, and I have known pain. I want to grab it and learn. Just some food for thought tonight. Tomorrow, I know Sunday is the day of rest. Sometimes it cannot be avoided. At the moment, Saturday is my down day. Tomorrow my day will start at 4:00am, walking 4 miles at 5:00am, church at 9:00am, cleaning a business at 10:30am, cleaning another business at 3:00pm, home by 8:00pm. No work on Monday! I am so thankful for my health. In the palm of Gods hand, that’s where I want to be and stay. When I am long gone, I would like my great grandson to remember how I danced around the kitchen with him. I want him to tell his family, she did that because she changed herself with the help from God. His grace is sufficient for even me, a sinner like me! I love all of my family so much. I am blessed! Amen! Goodnight. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Tuesday blog. May 17th,1975! Denny Reed asked me to marry him. Not in the traditional way. We jumped in the car, went to Miracle Mile Shopping Center and left with rings! It was 2 years before we married. We made the Ruby, not the Gold! I cannot say enough about making every moment count for all memories. It all went by so fast. I swear, in a blink, it was gone. Just typing these words brings tears. I cried as I wrote each poem two years ago. Each one representing, my life, our life and the end of Denny’s. I just mailed those, the last part, for the end of the book! Every time I read something about us, it takes me back a notch. I have accepted that grief will never end, it’s just changing. Always tears no matter my thoughts! Past, present and future! Only God knows! His timing is perfect! Sometimes I can stare at his picture, even talk to him, sometimes I just sob and get it over with. Even for divorced people, you owe it to your children to make peace. Divorce does not take love away from your children. I knew a long time ago that Denny’s ex wife would be with us at the funeral, and her family. They were very respectful. I told her at the dinner, I know you loved him too. I have an ex husband! I am not sorry I was married to him. I have a wonderful, loving and handsome son. But Denny became his real father. Denny truly had a heart of gold. He was such a giver! We all miss him in our own way. Take time, precious time, to stop and smell your roses. I don’t care if you are 80, if you are breathing, you have time! I started to grow up at 63! Gods hand is on my life. He is my compass and I still stumble. Important, I am not giving up, I will not be defeated and I am not going backwards. Taking care of Denny with God, has given me strength I did not know I had. Don’t sell yourself short! Let go and let God! Enjoy your evening! Goodnight God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Saturday blog. Oh well, you should all know by now that I have signed my book contract. What started 2 years ago has become a reality. I do need to correct on my last blog. I said we had Easter at my sisters in 2018. We had Easter on Butler St. before moving out. I did not start writing until 2019. I think about putting my blogs in a book. Working hard on change in your life is inspiring to others. Giving God all of the glory, waiting on Him. For me, if there were spotlights on shows, before and after weight loss, my very favorite. Maintaining balance and healthy choices, I love to hear about. Hearing about the glory of God and what a change He can bring in your life. That is how we learn. We are never to old to learn. Old dogs can learn new tricks! I was an excuse maker. Blaming others for my problems. I’m far from perfect, but I think like an adult now instead of a selfish child. It’s not pretty to see an adult act like that. I am not afraid to say, if you want change, you are the only one that can do it. When I learned that, it was like waking up from a long sleep. At 234 lbs. and I am short, I could only do a few steps at a time, huffing and puffing. I was only in my 50’s. I did not grow up heavy. I would lose weight for special occasions, gain it back and then some. I would start walking and if there was a set back, I just did not do it. Walking for me now, is like breathing. I have to have it. My grief levels still come and go, up and down. I am at home in my own skin. I still cannot read my own poems without crying. They are tears of joy and thanksgiving, that Denny and I made it through that pain and suffering. Mental illness is no picnic. Husband and wife both being bipolar! Thank God for Drs. and medicine. Talk about it. Awareness, more awareness is what we need! Be kind and loving always. No one ever really knows our struggles! If you are breathing, you still have time! It’s never to late to strive for a better world, even with COVID. God is in control. Give Him the glory! God is good! Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Tuesday blog. April, this month is also the 3rd anniversary of us moving into moms house, my childhood home. I’ll back up a bit. As Denny’s illness progressed, putting him in a wheelchair was very hard on both of us emotionally. But also, physically on me! We were becoming prisoners in our own home. The neighborhood was getting bad also! So, 3 years this month after 40 years in the city! What was hard, packing 40 years from a 5 bedroom home to a 2 bedroom home. Now, a house is nothing, no matter how old, a structure of nothing that has feelings! Take 2 people, in love of course, a 5 year old boy and me, 8 months pregnant! Two more daughters every other weekend. August of 1978. The start of making 40 years of memories. So today as I think back over the years, it’s not the wallpaper, or the whole new bathroom, that made me feel like I was at a Holiday Inn, our favorite hotel. It’s the holidays, adding more family every year, birthdays, swim parties with grandchildren. I will never forget hide and seek. So many places to hide in that big, old house. The house was sold, but never the memories. So, moving in April 2018, we had Easter at my sisters. I was overwhelmed with emotion, love, and appreciation. My mind was flooded. Easter night 3 years ago, I wrote my first poem about family. Almost every evening, I wrote 1 or 2 poems. My mind flooded with memories. I couldn’t get it on paper fast enough, 101 poems. Each one I wrote I read out loud to mom and Denny, bringing tears to our eyes. All about our life together, and everything that touched us, good and bad. Different people started mentioning a book. I sent my manuscript to a company from Facebook. My book was accepted. I didn’t have the money to publish it. It has been sitting for 2 years. They reached out to me, I have a new contract on the way. My book, Marilyn’s Heart, is going to be published. A popular singer in our area told me, just keep telling your story, someone will hear you. I am all kinds of excited! God is in all of my poetry and how He carried Denny and I through the fires of life. Prayers please. As exciting as this is, it is still a big undertaking. I wrote 2 poems after Denny passed. They want both for the end of the book! This book is for Denny and the life we shared! Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Monday blog. So sorry I have not written in a while. I love my new iPad. Parkinson’s! This is a word and a disease that I wish, I would have never heard. It just came sneaking into our lives out of nowhere. The summer of 2013, he was not quite himself. Without going into any detail, he was admitted to the hospital, where he spent 5 weeks. Then transferred to another hospital, spending 4 weeks. He had some very serious issues going on. None of us had a clue. I thought he had a breakdown. The more they changed his meds, the worse he got. Eventually he came around and came home. He continued to get better. Gained some weight back and was looking healthy and smiling. The twitching started in his thumb. So, off to the Dr. again, finally reaching a diagnosis of Parkinson’s. In 20014. I thought it was a muscle disease, it’s not! When I started learning about what it does to the brain. It made me sick and broken-hearted, just thinking about what he might have to endure. Now, over a year later, I think of him in heaven, made whole. So much tension and pain on his face throughout that journey. As hard as it was, when he took that last breath, the peace on his face was miraculous. One of our long time friend and Pastor walked in right after, he saw it. It was amazing. I have had a lot of tears the past 4 days. Just another grief phase. I saw my recovery therapist today in person, after a year of phone appointments. He said, you look great, you sound great. Grief flies in and out, like a bird, pecking at you, until tears start. So, as this month is set aside for Parkinson’s Awareness. Many of you knew Denny very well and a longtime. Pause a moment this month to remember him the way he used to be. That laugh and smile, missed forever. I know he is laughing and smiling everyday. I just praise God that he did not have to go through that whole COVID mess when it started. Gods mercy! Missed and loved forever. Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening. Monday night, short blog! My iPad last Tuesday, decided to die! I do not like blogging on my phone! After trying every plug and cord in two different homes, no go! Three days later, I gave in and went to Verizon! Of course, it is cheaper to bundle! And, really it is. Mine was not in stock, arriving Wednesday. I cannot wait, I have a a lot to blog about. 8 plus, is now a 12 Pro Max. I love it! It has taken me some time, I liked my home button a lot! I am getting used to the swipe up! The iPad will be the same. For us adults, well even kids, it’s like new toys! Thank you Lord for the means to upgrade! I really did get a good deal! Good night. God bless. I’ll be talking to you Wednesday night!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️