Just Breathe

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Let’s start at the top! Up at 4:30am, I felt I had a decent amount of sleep! Walking was set back for meetings that my daughter had to take care of, on the devices of course! The gloomy weather is not helping! I thought I was doing ok, I did laundry, I kept my meals on track! Then my granddaughter, who is a walker, who has my beautiful great grandson all bundled up inside his stroller! She walked to our house, for a puzzle! Social distancing goes for all, no matter the relation or the age! I wanted to hold him so badly! He was looking at me with those big blue eyes of his! More than all of that, I want them to have a long life together! A normal life! Always I love you’s! So I’m back in the house, in my room, let’s just say, the flood gates opened! I had a serious meltdown! I cried so hard I gave myself a headache, I felt sick! Even if my daughter is struggling also, she only gives me positive feedback! After I finally dried up my face, I said, I am going to Wild Wings! TobyMac came on, I See You In Everything! This singer just lost a child! The song is about seeing God, but, I thought, I see Denny in everything! Wild Wings was one of our favorite spots! Just us or B-day parties! I can cry and smile for the best of memories with him! I would hold his hands across the table and tell him, it will all be ok! His eyes were so blue! Came out feeling better than when I went in! Daughter and I sent each other a positive text!

I can crawl in bed and cry myself sick, or let it run it’s course and keep moving forward! God has me, I just need to breathe and keep looking up! Right after Denny passed our daughter grabbed me tight! I was holding my breath! She kept saying, breathe! So I keep reminding myself! Let’s all keep praying for each other! This truly is a test for each of us! I want to come out on the other side better! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️