Lets Be Real Tonight

Good evening! Wednesday blog! Shall we? I am just a person, a bipolar person! I think I am pretty vocal about staying mentally healthy! But today something poked me, right between my eyes! Our Grief Share leader has set our meetings for us on Zoom! It’s great! He asked me last week, did you do your lesson? I said, I will be honest, no! It has been eating at me all week! Today I sat down with my book! I did the lesson for tomorrow! Overwhelming guilt washed over me, I had not done any of the lessons! So I started reading it from the front, and I could not finish! I was crying so hard, I think I am stuck in the grieving process! That can’t be good! So, I think I am in a denial of some sort! I am all about being and staying healthy! But, not putting in the work! So, again I have this wonderful workbook, a caring leader who wants us to come out on the other side! I bought 2 Grief books that come very highly recommended, I have not opened them, I have a stack of books from the library, that I have not opened! Tonight I feel like a fake! I want to be helpful and see others rise above and I am not doing it myself! I was back in life right away, then this crisis came and it all stopped! My walking is the only good, healthy thing I am doing! My goal for tomorrow, right after walking, do my workbook, and start my separate Grief Journal! I see me being in Grief Share a couple of year! So, I would ask for some more prayer along this journey! I want to tell our story, my story, on how to change and move forward! God has brought me so far, this is the start to my healing and that will be painful! Gods promises, I do believe them! I want to come out of this crisis a whole, healthy person! God willing! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️