Widow Brain

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I am 67, I have seen and been with family and friends who have lost spouses! Never once did I hear of this affliction! It started quickly after the funeral. When your loved one passes, I feel I went on auto-pilot. So much to do and take care of. It’s the last thing that you can do for your loved one. I wanted it perfect, like a wedding. Sometimes weddings don’t make the marriage last, but a funeral is the final goodbye to the earthly body of the one we loved so much! I believe he was given proper honor! I thought it was beautiful! When it was over, I started feeling lack of concentration! I also thought if I threw myself back into everything that I thought normal to get me and keep me busy and on track! Just a couple days later, I put a crunch in the back of the car. Not thinking, not looking! I have lived in this area my whole life. I have gotten lost, wrong exits, wrong turns, wrong streets, wrong appointments! Even with a GPS! I use to pride myself on knowing how to get everywhere! In the morning when I walk, it’s the only time my mind is clear. Except if I am talking to my daughter! I start to speak and it’s gone! Since Denny passed, I wake up with a headache and neck ache everyday! I never had headaches, not since I was young! A widow shared with me today, it could last as long as 2 years! Yikes! I write notes, I forget to write notes and then, I can’t find the notes! I am an organized person! This is very frustrating! I don’t mean to sound like I can’t get anything done, I do! Maybe just a little more challenging! I am not giving up! I am a person, with a life, who does many enjoyable things. Positive things and hobbies! God remains at the top of my list! I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me! Philippians 4:13, one of my favorite promises! So, if any of you have a question, ask me! If not and you think I have to much on my mind, you’re right, I do! My mind is full of my loss, it never leaves. I suspect, it never will. Why would it, part of me is missing! Time does not change a thing, Denny is gone and always will be! I need to be a healthy griever! Keep moving forward! God is good! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️