Good evening, Monday night blog. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record. After you become a widow or widower, what is the time frame for grieving? Simple, there isn’t one. There are people that think it should be finished in such and such a time frame. Until you are there, and I still cannot believe that I am part of that group, you will not understand what a person is saying. It’s like being tired, you are yawning, you just don’t know how many times. Well, you can start your day, it doesn’t bother you at all to see the pictures still hanging. Turn on Christian radio, there’s a song from the funeral. Turn on Oldies music, you listened to, there’s your song, that had so much meaning! Then, the big ones, the special calendar days. Our birthdays, our anniversary, holidays that had all of the fixings, with all of the family. Then COVID came along and took that. Emotions go up and down like a yo-yo. I still love to bake, Denny was my taster. I miss baking for him. He loved watching our grandchildren run around our house. The house is not ours anymore. Our grandchildren are almost finished with high school, then off to college. We now have round three, great grand babies, how fun it would be doin it together. Now mind you, I am not feeling sorry for myself. Actually, I function better than I thought I would. I still put God first, no matter how much emotional pain might be lurking around, I still go to my church, I work, I bake, I babysit, I still walk, I still touch base with my therapist, I keep my Dr. appointments, I take my meds, I have somewhat of a social life. This is the first I have had this much hair in 10 years, I keep it fixed, I put my make up on everyday, even if I am not going anywhere! This is my life without Denny. I think of it as oiling my machine everyday. It’s not time for me to break down and become rusty. What happens if you become rusty, you cannot move and you give up. Life goes on. I miss him everyday. It never stops. These 7 words bring me to tears. When I write about Denny and the life we had, tears. I just do not stay there. The amount of tissue I go through…………..I have a burden for widows, in Gods timing. At the end of the day, I look at his picture, I tell him, I still cannot believe you are gone, that it’s going to be 2 years. I cannot wrap my head around that. I was blessed to have such a good man for 42 years. There is not enough room to write all that he did for his family. Our children and grandchildren feel the same way. The best part of our whole story as a family, nothing can take our memories. Denny Reed, the mold was broken after you. I love you forever, till heaven! Good night, God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️
Marilyn’s Heart 