Marilyn’s Heart

Good evening! Saturday blog! I am so happy, that at my age, I found, that you need both love and commitment together to form an everlasting relationship when you say your vows! I know this is a stretch for some! Think back to the day that you saw that particular person! Little things happen every day that shows you and your heart tells you, this is the one! Denny and I were running on feelings, most of the time! Very strong feelings! I met a woman , over 40 years ago, to this day she is my friend! She told me, marriage cannot run on feelings, you don’t always feel that way! I was shocked! I had never heard that! Love with an everlasting commitment, that’s the key! Denny and I, our relationship was all over the crazy map of life! Always looking for what made us feel good! That is not Gods design for us at all! Finally after years of hurt and pain, even when we knew we didn’t want to be apart, it still took time to figure it out! Just when it seemed we could, Denny got sick! I would not wish this to be the way for anyone to find a deep undying commitment for each other! Now we know the meaning of commitment and our love is deeper than I ever thought possible! I will not live in regret, what good would that do for either of us! Really, love and commitment to God is the best path for all of this to fall into place! Sooo, as I sit with Denny day in and day out, my mind drifts back over the years and how fast they slipped away! Don’t let yours slip by without learning and applying the difference in your life, marriage and relationships! Let your mind take you back to the butterfly’s in your stomach! We all had them! If you need to rekindle, do it before it’s to late! I looked them up for all of you, here they are! The last one is combining them! Equal amounts of love and commitment! They go hand in hand! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! God is still good! I am not weary, I feel weary! There is a difference! I do not run on feelings! I love poetry! I have not written any in a while! I will share one of the greatest poems, I think, that has ever been written! When I tell Denny I love you, he has been saying ,don’t forget that! I am tired! Two separate pieces I found! Goodnight! God bless! Here they are!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! It’s not getting any easier! Denny slept a lot today! When he is awake he is very anxious, just because! Let’s clarify! I hate Parkinson’s, I hate what it is doing to my husband, robbing him of life, physically and mentally! I love Denny! When I say I am at peace and have joy, it comes from a place of deep gratitude for Gods love and mercy and grace, for a sinner like me! God is not punishing us! None of his promises say that! His promises are strength, to see us through whatever life brings our way! It’s Gods words that I am clinging to! I love the book of James! It makes it all perfectly clear! Leaving him tonight was especially hard! I saw his eyes! Filling with tears! He is very fearful most of the time! On a brighter note, he might go back to Otterbein tomorrow! His numbers are climbing and looking good! The new problem, one step forward, five steps back! Like starting over! So whenever I see his fear, anxiety, hear his fearful words and tonight his tears! I look in his eyes, I wiped his tears, I kiss his lips and tell him I love him forever! I am strong until I get home, without him! In the end, God will wipe all of our tears! We are pressing on for eternity with Him! Don’t waste anymore days! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I asked if your soul is well? I asked if you had peace like a river? I decorated Denny’s room today for Halloween! After he saw it he fell back to sleep! When speech therapy came he was unresponsive, for longer than they were comfortable with! He was left alone in the bathroom and fell! People really need to learn the definition of FALL RISK! I mean, really!!! So he was in the ER by 4:00pm and in a room at 8:30pm! Very low sodium again! That’s how fast things can change! My soul is still well! My eyes are another story! I am tired! So, this is short, but, to the point! God is always good, no matter what I face! I tried life without Him, disaster! Continued prayers please! Have a good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Well, in light of all of my positivity last night! You all know I get up early! So, at 3:30am I jumped up and started my cake! Cinnabon! That is a great cake! It turns out perfect every time! Very organized, got downtown in plenty of time! The Zeph Center downtown, is packed every day! That’s how bad addiction is, of any kind! Steve forgot about me! He was on vacation! An intern was running the group! I did not want to wait an hour and a half! I left the cake! 1st of the month, I went and paid bills, grabbed a breakfast sandwich and surprised Denny with an early visit! The intern called me, she felt bad! I said why? Nothing happened! It was a mistake! There were only five today, they ate the whole cake! They said it would have tasted better if I had been there! What a nice thing to say! I missed them! That might have upset some! I don’t have the energy for that, nor do I want it! It Is Well With My Soul! One of my very favorite songs and I want it for my funeral! I am not going to lie, I have a heavy heart tonight! It’s a struggle to see and watch this once very strong willed man, that I depended on for literally everything! Broken record, if it wasn’t for recovery and making my way back to God, I would be a basket case! But, I know I am not! I am depending on the Lord heavily! My comfort, that my soul will be well through all of it! Down the road we will be together forever! No matter who God takes first! If you have never listened to this song, take the time! I just sob when I here it! The man who wrote it, was in deep pain from loss of family! Tragic! We are all going to face something! The older we get, the more we know it! Is your soul well? Do you have peace like a river? I love this song! We played Yahtzee tonight! We always played with the grandkids when they spent the night! Oh how I miss that! Have a peaceful nights sleep! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! I have to be downtown at 8:00am! I love the word positivity! More than that, I love the meaning and definition! When you wake up and choose it before your feet even hit the floor, your day will be better, things will be smoother to handle! I know I sound like a broken record, to even out the score, I smile as much as I cry! You can smile, even if tears are running down your face! The word negativity, I think sounds kind of ugly! Sit down with 2 pieces of paper! 1 positive and the other negative! Start writing down the differences between them! Constant negativity is toxic! It can rub off on you like dirt! I catch myself being negative, especially if I don’t like something about Denny’s care! I’ve apologized to a couple of nurses! I recognize and know when my attitude is not nice! Takes me back to, attitude of gratitude! God does not want us to be a bunch of crabbers walking around! Negative is toxic, positive is like a magnet, draws people! I’m pretty sure you all know what I mean! It takes a lot of energy to be mean and nasty, not to mention the stress you cause to your own self! Start with one little thing to change your feelings about! Happy is a mood, being positive is a choice! Time for goodnight! Sleep well! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! A woman is a female adult! The definition does not say to much more than that! You have come a long way baby! I like that one! A woman from the 40’s, 50’s, even 60’s! Not very many sought work outside the home! Growing up like that in that time frame, watching my mom take care of my dads every need! Now, we are talking about my parents! I love them! But, I grew up thinking and believing that every home was like that! Who were women back then? Just someone’s wife! It’s not true! We are so much more! Women now feel, believe and act on what they believe they need! Women contribute a great amount of everything to their households, life and the world! I use to feel that way! That I was only Denny Reeds wife and if I was not, I would be nothing! If a man had to pay for all of the titles a woman takes on, he would never be able to pay for all of that! It’s all I ever wanted, was to be a wife and a mother! I loved it, I still love it and of course I have the extension titles now! I was blessed with a man that worked so I could stay with our children! I do thank and appreciate that! I think our kids do to! I hope so! I would not trade my family for anything! But along this life’s journey and I will keep repeating recovery, I have found, I am so much more than that! I am worth so much more than that! I am not downing men in anyway! I love my husband, we finally figured it out! There are men that use and abuse! If you find yourself in anything like that, put a stop to it! Believe what God says about you! You are wonderfully made in His image! Men and women! Spouses cannot get inside the other ones head, so if you never share and talk honestly, with love and no judgement, how can you build your relationship and grow if you never let the other one in! Denny and I did not have all of that before he got sick! We know now! I believe it is so important to set boundaries! Each one give 100% not half! Put your spouse first, it goes both ways! I rely on God’s word, His promises! But, we all have moments of doubt! Who do I see first thing in the morning, me! I am worth a pep talk, so I do it! I do not ever want that other woman to resurface! She almost destroyed, herself, her husband and her family! She fought her way back, and her name is Marilyn! I am woman, I can roar, if I need to! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! When you walk around a nursing facility, just to get a drink! Some things you see and hear might not ever leave you! Some are going through even more than you! But when a nurse, not just a nurse, the director of nursing, makes light of something that I am trying to convey to her about my husband, that’s a big problem! Do not pretend to know the man I have been living with for 44 years total! Very upsetting! That’s all I’m saying about that! I am leaving it in God’s hands! I told the therapy girls, I am a hover, a helicopter wife! They laughed! I was serious! My title words were not words that I was used to growing up! Not even in our home were they used! Just the definitions made me cry! We need to put our arms around everyone! You will never be able to see pain inside someone! You need to listen with your eyes and ears! Some hold things in forever, thinking they are the only one, blaming themselves, like they did the wrong thing! I have been abused through my lifetime, physically, mentally, verbally! I have blamed myself for many things! I am so thankful for recovery and making my way back to God, the healer of all that pain! Recovery opened my heart and my ears and my eyes! Look, listen, feel! Open your senses to others! There are many where Denny is that sit in the day room all day! I am guessing they have know one! Know one to speak for them! I could go on and on! I just felt so strongly about these things today! We are in a very hurting world! I say, Jesus come quickly! Until then, give us the strength to help others in the name of Jesus! Let’s use these words and put the definitions to work! Keep me tender! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! I am late tonight! You cannot see the iPad when the tears won’t stop! Just being honest! I’m not ashamed of crying! I consider my tears to be healthy! And I am human! Tears, mental pain! They are God given emotions! They have there proper place! Do you ever just sit and watch the rain? The way it spatters on the pavement! I never say God is crying, there are no tears in Heaven! So, when the clouds cannot hold it anymore, it just bursts with rain-tears! The past couple of days, Denny has had some very good moments and sometimes, some different moments! It’s not his fault! Yesterday, we were both young, time slipped through our fingers quickly! Never once did I think about a disease taking its toll on him! I wish I could carry some of his burdens! I know God is with us! After our good nights, I can’t get to the car fast enough! My chest feels as if it’s going to burst when a sob hits me! I just sit there until it passes, I can’t drive like that! Then certain songs, break my heart into pieces! Approaching home, dry it up, can’t wait to hit the bedroom before the waves take me down again! I know God’s touch! Tomorrow morning I will wake by 5:00am, barring the rain, I will be out the door! And all of God’s beauty will take my breath away! Tears do not make you not believe, it makes me believe all the more! God dries me up until the next round! On a brighter note, Denny has been having some small amounts of very soft things! Today, chocolate pudding! When he takes a little, then there are exercises for his mouth and throat! All things, he and I took for granted! So the clouds are crying tonight and mine have passed also! I do feel better afterwards! Grab your loved ones, with big hugs and kisses! Goodnight! Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! I am big on getting a good nights rest! Your whole being needs it! Mind, body and soul! When Denny was home, we faithfully went to bed at 8:00pm! Unless something really important is taking place! So, I’m staying up later, driving home, couple of minutes with the Beagle, I get ready for bed as fast as I can! By the time I am done writing, it is later, I sleep till 5:00am! Unless I have special baking! So cutting it short tonight, my eyes are drooping! I have an app on my phone, Soothing Sleep Sounds! I pick Ocean Waves! Love the sound of waves! Sleep is important! So, goodnight and sweet dreams! God bless!❤️🤗💤😴💤🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I love this prayer! It’s used in many ways, in many programs! This is the original, long version! It’s beautiful! Slowly read the words! It does speak peace and strength! Don’t we all need a little of that! Especially when you are in the valley! God is the giver of all things! He promises peace, strength to do all things in His name! He keeps our burdens light, we only have to ask and we receive! I repeat these things to myself and Denny often! Always good to be reminded! Continued prayers for our situation! I am adding a picture of today’s sunrise! So peaceful and quiet at the park in the early morning light! Looking at the sky, the lake, the beauty! It’s hard to believe beyond that is so much pain and suffering, and by the hands of others! When I am at that peaceful place, in the early light, I think of heaven and how much more beautiful it will be! Far beyond the earthly beauty! Enjoy the peaceful words, enjoy the peaceful picture! God is right with you! I feel his presence everyday! Have a good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! I have been very tired today! I cannot let myself fall by the wayside! I won’t be any good to anyone! So I am turning my mind off tonight! There is no reason why I can’t go to group tomorrow morning! Get my tank filled, so to speak! Good night and sleep tight! I do appreciate all of you! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! Denny had a good day today and so did I! The kids came, his eyes were nice and bright! We sang Happy Birthday to Brenda! But, this evening, when it was getting time to leave, he became very serious! He took my hands , looked me in the eye and told me how much he loves me! He said remember always! He has always said those words, but they were repeated after me! So, I have a love story! This woman went to church with some neighbors, then Sunday School! Two years later she accepted Christ and of course she wanted that same bliss for her husband! She asked him repeatedly to come to church! Then she started Bible Studies and in her growing faith, she started to pray! Read countless books on submission and obedience! She prayed continuously for her man to know joy and peace! In this turmoil of course the devil is at work! Destroyer of families! Finally he accepted Christ two years later! They were very involved in church! Testing was flying all around them! Her man got sick and turned from God and his family! The woman prayed and prayed for a loving and lasting relationship! One with true honesty and intimacy! The woman became sick and she drifted away also! Things were very wrong for a long time! He divorced her, everyone was heartbroken! He took her back after three months! It was six years before they remarried! Trust is a very difficult thing to get back! Neither one was right with the Lord, going to church, was just going to church! Two years after they remarried, the man became very sick! Their life was a mess! Sickness started taking over and the woman was emotionally sick! The devil had a hay day with them! So much backsliding! They felt they were not worthy! People were praying for them continually! The woman sought therapy! The man was getting sicker! She knew then that she had to become strong, healthy, ask God to forgive her and she forgave herself! She never knew such joy and peace in the valley! The man leans on her heavily and looks to her for all of his needs! The moral of this story, he now appreciates her, thanks her, shows love to her and their family! How ironic she has the man that she prayed for! She thanks the Lord continuously! Watch how you pray and what you pray for! He just might give it to you! Will you trust and obey? Denny and Marilyn Reed learned the hard way! We forgave each other! Gods love is perfect! Give your spouse or partner 100% of yourself always, with God first! Do not be tempted in any way, the devil will devour your life! We lived it! Praise God for His plan! He always knows best! Have a great night! God bless❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! I love him so! I’m always there, between 10:00am and 11:00am! I try to be home before 8:30pm! Before we know it, all of those hours are gone and I have to say goodnight! We don’t like it! Go to sleep, get up, do it all again! I get up early so I can get things done before I go! You all know how important my walk is! God will see us through this, just like all of the other trials! Even at my age, with all of those years behind me, know one could have prepared any of us for what we are facing and going through! It’s just plain painful! When I get home at night, I just feel empty! I know it’s not true! God keeps me filled and fulfilled! I wish I could stop blinking, maybe time would stand still for a moment! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! This image popped up in my memories! I think it’s worth touching the subject again! Denny seemed to have a rough spot today and now he is good! Parkinson’s moods are hard to keep up with! Some of you might think that I am stressed or anxious everyday! I am not! I believe going through addiction therapy, gave me the right tools to take care of those negative things! I choose to use them! I have a big bag everyday filled with my positive go to’s! I am still at Otterbein with Denny! Want to get this done before I leave! I have several cookies to finish! For those of you that do not know, I am an addict! My choices were casino and scratch off’s! Gambling addict! No different than an alcoholic, a drug addict, food and people! Yes you can be addicted to a person! Food, you cannot go without, have to find balance! It’s awful! It controlled every part of me! Bus to Windsor was my favorite! Mind you, it’s not that close! When I could not soothe myself with food anymore, the gambling really got out of control! It started to affect me mentally and physically! I had quite the juggling act going on! Long story short, I banned myself from all casinos, life long ban! That helped, I relapsed 3 times in 2 years! January 3rd, 2016 I gave it up, family supported me, I entered recovery therapy! Best thing I have ever done! It got me through a lot of hurdles! Why am I telling this again, because, what we are going through could become a big trigger for some! In January, it will be 4 years! Best decision I ever made! Coping skills are important, as are positive behaviors! Two things I still need to work on, budgeting and cutting my hair! Small alongside of gambling, but definitely needs balance! Important to recognize! God forgave me and I forgave myself! That was tough! I am leaning on Him heavily! God is good! Be good to yourself, you are worth it! I am heading out! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! I am at a loss for words tonight! Denny had a good day! He enjoyed being in the car, even though our day trippin was to the Dr. Sleep tight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️I love this picture at the Museum!

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I need to get to sleep! I have a cookie order to start tomorrow! Sunflowers!🌻🌻🌻Can’t wait! Just a darling baby girl, turning one! So, lots of time on my hands when Denny is napping! I love to Google, images, verses, songs, quotes, poems! Something always jumps off of the screen! I don’t know that I have ever heard this song! It touched me so! You know a lot of people complain about Facebook! I don’t, only if I am hacked! Especially when you believe in the power of prayer! I am FB friends with a lot of people I have never met, connected one way or another! I feel the strength of the Lord! I am friends with all of our immediate family, I am friends with generations of family, I am friends with a lot of childhood and school friends, we are talking 50, 60 years, all of my church family, 40 years! I love it! I do not have to see anyone, I can’t see God, but I know He is everywhere I am always! It’s the same with all of you! I sooooo appreciate every word, every emoji, I love emojis! I cherish every one of you! I know you care! And with my blog and poems, I have some knew literary friends! Friendship trickles down from all of you! Thank you! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️This song is about the best friend you will ever know or ever need!❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Our kids came today, as they normally do! These were not all taken today! The collage at the bottom! Sons, daughters, grandchildren, what on earth would I do if I did not have them? I know God’s arms are around me, but when their arms are around me! It’s so comforting to know and see how much they love us! I need them, I love them! And when my grandchildren hug me, it sets my world straight, even though it feels so crooked! Parkinson’s is taking, my husband, their dad, their papa, piece by piece! Sometimes I just feel sick and helpless! Not one person will ever know until your in my shoes! The presence of our family, brings me comfort and joy! Not to take the place of God! I am so very fortunate to have kids and grandkids like ours! Love and forgiveness flows out of them like a river! With two bipolar parents, we put them through some crazy! I truly thank God for my life! That I was given the chance to enjoy my family! Denny is still our rock! He is my angel, my big red balloon, my teddy bear, my walk by the lake, I see him in the sun, the moon, the stars, the clouds! He is everywhere and everything to me! With all of my heart, I love him so much! I believe with all of my heart, a love like ours will never duplicated! God is at the head of all things! Even through my tears every night, His promises will sustain me! I cannot say it enough, don’t put off family time, family things, it could be taken away overnight! That’s how fast it can change! One day our pain, tears and suffering will be gone, when we are all together brand new! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! Denny had another good day! He is getting stronger! Yaaaaay! Thank you Jesus! Let’s talk about something a little lighter tonight! I love balloons! Any kind, any color, just one, or a bouquet! If you ever just sit and watch balloons, they do not stop moving! Like they are dancing! Mylar balloons are cheerful with all of there beautiful colors! I love hot air balloons, but, I am afraid to go on one! Denny and I went to Niagara Falls on one of our trips! There was a giant white balloon, with a big basket! It also had cables that only let it go so far! Now I got in that basket! I knew we couldn’t fly away! We just went up and stopped, then came back down! The scene from the sky was breathtaking! That was one of our favorite trips! Have you seen the Disney movie Up? How wonderful to take your home with you, by way of balloons! Lots of balloons! It would be thrilling to see the USA from a balloon or the whole world! Most pictures show us a person holding onto a balloon and floating straight up! That would be a great way to get to heaven! When our soul departs, just grab your favorite color balloon! Float right up to heaven! Sometimes I have to think like this! Fun ways for our souls to be caught up and taken! I love angels too! Do they float or fly? Do you ever think that way? Just let us grab a balloon and fly away from all of this pain and suffering! Maybe when we are in heaven we will all have a balloon in our hand! I do like fantasy! There is nothing wrong with dreaming! I can either torture myself or let my mind go and dream! Whoever gets to heaven first, Denny or me, we will be carrying our balloons of love, faith and hope and dwell with Jesus forever! Sometimes a sob will hit me so hard, I feel as though I could die from it! That’s when I grab my colored balloon that holds all of God’s promises! Continued prayers for Denny! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

Good evening! Sunday blog! Denny’s day was good! Let me say first, I am not looking for pity tonight! You don’t have to comment if you don’t know what to say! I don’t want to hear how sorry anyone is! Please continue your prayers! What I am asking for tonight, think about what you have with health! Not material things! Denny started choking in the hospital in August, his food was taken immediately! He failed the swallow test! Things moved quickly to the tube! Our daughter today was doing his throat exercise with him! Watching him, my mind was flooded with how much he loved my cooking and baking! I never want to question God! He knows more! Life is full of things we cannot control! The TV is flooded with food commercials! You can’t hide it! The holidays are just around the corner! We have always had pizza on Halloween night, our tradition! He loves Double Mint Gum! 1 piece everyday, now none! Do I want him alive, yes!!! It’s hard not to feel guilty when it’s time for someone to eat! I do not eat in front of him! It’s hard enough drinking in front of him! Not one complaint out of that man! A couple of times in the beginning he asked for some specific foods, when I looked at him, he said I forgot! Think of what you put in your mouth in a day! Talk about taking things for granted! I would like to ask for a huge gift from all of you, for Denny! This Wednesday, September, 19th, 2019 at 10:00am in the morning, give up food for 12 hours! A short fast for Denny! While you are fasting, pray! If you are diabetic, NO! If you are pregnant, NO! Have some water, if you must! You do not have to tell me if you did or did not! I never have thought, what would life be like if I could not eat again! So much of life is centered around food! I never thought of specific muscles in the mouth, throat and tongue! I want all of you to think about your health! Please do not take it for granted! In the blink of an eye Denny’s privilege was taken, just like that! I love all of you! Appreciate what God has blessed you with! Sleep well! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️Thank You!❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! How can you sit in a chair all day, and feel like you had no sleep at all! I said I could run 10 miles and not feel like this! I have two special teachers, I told them both, you are suffering mental fatigue! I’m falling asleep right now! So short and sweet! Denny’s day was good! Parkinson’s is so sneaky! One day you look lost, actually at any minute it can happen! In an hour or the next day, bright eyes, wide awake, talking! Like being with two different people! I mean the facial difference! So we really look for the smiles! He doesn’t like it when I leave! I just wait for the smile or I ask for a smile! It’s hard to walk away! I just love that man so much! Every time I pick up my iPad , my eyes go shut! I take a whole bag of activities everyday! No mental fatigue when I walk, when I go to sleep I can’t wait to get up! Because of how great the walk feels! God is good! We will get through this! Jesus said, cast all of your care on me! Goodnight! Have a wonderful Sunday! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! Friday the 13th! Did you walk around in fear today? Black cats, ladders, mirrors! It’s no different than any other day! It’s what you choose, it’s what you make it! I want to trust God for all that today holds! My day is surrounded with Denny! He is all I see for today! He looked so handsome today! With his meds straight, he was active in everything they had him do! Speech therapy was great! He sounded nice and loud! How many times do we say that? Not so loud! I praise God when Denny gets loud! Of course when I tell him goodnight, I will see you tomorrow! I should add, God willing! No one knows if we will see tomorrow! Too much energy wasted on worry and fear about what we might not see! People are fretting over winter already! Don’t we already have enough to worry about today? I can’t do it! I think about what’s at hand at the moment! I could torture myself with thoughts of our future! Not one person knows the time or day of anything that is going to take place! I’m sitting here in bed, typing, thinking over the day! I think backwards, what the day was like, compare it to yesterday! Looking ahead, speculating in fear and worry, these are sins! They can grip you and paralyze you! How many times do we hear, I shouldn’t have worried about that! I am a list person, because I like visual! I don’t worry about the list, it might not happen! It helps me stay organized, for my day at the moment! I’m ready for some sleep! No worry about tomorrow! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! In light of Suicide Prevention Month, I thought I would share again! The importance of the right Doctors, the right combination of meds! Many of us take more than one or two! It’s important not to miss a pill, in a certain time frame! Believe me please, I only took mine when I felt like it, I was all kinds of crazy! I thought of suicide very often in my young life! If you even think it once, that’s too much! That is not a healthy brain! I take mine faithfully now! It scares me, because I know it does not take much to tip the scale! Other medications can interfere with psyche meds! It’s a tricky balance! One that I am very passionate about! With all of Denny’s hospital stays, more than one Dr. or nurse has questioned the kind of meds Denny takes! Some think they have the right to change meds without consulting the Dr. that prescribed them! I know when things are off! When he is just not himself! I have learned quickly, to address these things where your loved ones meds are concerned! Ask questions! To bad if they don’t like it! It’s bad enough when other meds interact badly! In this day and age, with so much awareness, we are losing so many amazing people! You cannot be helped if you don’t or won’t talk about it! Tell someone! I thought it way to much, tried twice, failed, thank God! Even in my gambling addiction, going, losing money I did not have, being disappointed with myself, depressed every time and I was taking my meds! More than once driving home thinking about what I had to face again, that little voice, turn the wheel, you can end it right now! I was on a very slippery slope! I am so thankful when I see me in the mirror every morning! Even in my pain over Denny’s illness, I want good mental health! I still screw up, people get mad at me, I don’t always say or do the right things, but I choose positive even with consequences! You can turn it around! If I did, you can too! Gods plan is amazing! He brought me through the fire and I am strong enough, He has helped me get strong enough to handle all of this! I beg you, talk to someone! We love the Zeph Centers of Toledo and areas around! I am praying for you, whoever you might be! Do not suffer alone! You are sooo worth it! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️We are the faces together of bipolar, mental illness! I am not ashamed anymore!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good Evening! Wednesday blog! Have you ever sat and watched an hour glass? We know what it means! Time just slipping by! So many mistakes! One would think, that all of the tears I have shed might make me weak, not able to go on! I am finding, the more I cry, the stronger I feel! It’s like falling off of your bike as a child! You just wanted it so badly! Down you go, sometimes it hurts! You don’t want anyone to see it! Bleeding boo boo’s! To much pride! Jump up, wipe off the dust, get back on that bike, until you learn to keep rolling! So it is in the Christian walk! Life can beat the daylights out of you! Sometimes I close my eyes and hold my breathe and cry out to God, please, if you can take this away! God is the giver and taker of all things! Especially life! I know this is true! When I let go of that humanness and let Him have it! I know the strength of His mighty touch! I know Denny and I are in the palm of His hand, He carries us and our burdens! Gods whispers are all around me! I am not feeling anything that God Himself has not felt! So I continue to pick myself up, God says, get your armor on! Fight the evil one! I will give you what you need everyday! Do not doubt! That kind of pain and sadness can leave you weak in many areas! God is carrying us through the sand, the muck and quicksand! Call on the Lord, He and only He will carry you through, that’s when there is only one set of prints! God bless!❤️👣🤗🤗👣❤️

No matter what! Good evening! Tuesday short blog! Hanging on to Gods promises, always brings peace and comfort! Goodnight!❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗🤗🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! This will be short! I cannot keep my eyes open! Our kids came today! Denny’s eyes were open, big and blue! He’s hydrated again! Mineral levels are good! Looks like the move might take place tomorrow, Tuesday for sure! I’m so happy when I get to spend time with the kids! I wish it wasn’t in a hospital room! I’ll admit, I am down when I have to leave! But driving home, God is so good! He spoke to my heart and I saidthank you! When I got home, family was still here to see mom on her B-day! Soooo happy to see our granddaughter and husband, with my unborn great grandson, due in November! Suddenly my world was good! Some chatter and laughter, good for the soul! My tears tonight are grateful tears! Dear God, thank you for helping Denny get stronger! Time for some sleep! Continued prayers for Denny! To be continued tomorrow! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Denny looks great today! Thank you Lord and for everyone’s prayers! Goodnight!😴🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻😴

Good evening! Saturday blog! Even as small as a mustard seed! This morning, as every morning , I start my day with God! Daily Bread Devotions, Bible reading and Journaling! I don’t turn the kitchen light on, don’t want to wake mom! The light from the utility room is plenty, plus the iPad lights up! Of course I was crying! The word Faith sits on the hutch, I looked up, it looked just like it was glowing ,in the dark! I could not stop staring at it! I took a picture! It gave me goose bumps! Our daughter came to the hospital today! She forgot she had bought two bracelets in Texas at a seminar! When she saw my FB post, she remembered! In the picture there is a mustard seed inside the heart! Amazing how God works! My Denny is still in need of prayer! I feel bad when I leave to get a bite to eat! That’s when I need Faith! He has a feeding tube, nothing by mouth! Not a drop of water or even his favorite gum, he chewed everyday! Even if he got enough strength to have a little of something, it will never be like you and I! That was one of the things we could still enjoy together! Please pray for his strength and a renewed Faith! I don’t want him to give up! So, I am always saying, appreciate what you have, who you have, what you can do together and what you can put in your mouth! You do not know when or if something you really love can be taken that fast! I love him so much! Do not let precious time slip through your fingers! That moment will never come back! Have a wonderful Sunday with family and friends, The Lords Day! Goodnight and God bless! Faith as small as a seed, can move a mountain! Wow!

Not a good evening! Friday blog! I am so angry! I’m not quite sure about the fine line between justified anger and sin! What they call skilled care is a joke, this place is not acceptable, their care or what they think is care is horrifying! My Denny is already fragile and is in a weak end condition! I took care of most of his needs except medical! They screwed that up also! When his meds are messed up, his brain gets messed up! That all takes time to bring everything back into balance! We are all getting tired! I do not have time for tired! God be with Denny this night and heal him! Thank you all for your love and prayers! Just want sleep! God bless! P. S. No problem with therapy there! They were great! Came to his room and hugged him bye! We all deserve someone to go to bat for them and go that extra mile?❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! Sitting here with Denny at the rehab! The care meeting was ok, we all spoke for him today, his children, his wife ME! I did not like the last time he was here! I do not like any better this time! Denny will be transported to a beautiful rehab center on Pemberville Rd. tomorrow! I don’t know about blog rules, so I won’t mention names tonight! Our daughter is coming to spend the night to give him peace of mind! What happens to people who have no family! I shudder! No love and kindness given, how about compassion! So sad! I would never wish illness on anyone and we don’t ask for it either! It’s not fair, it is life! I would not have peace, happiness or joy if I was angry about what cannot be changed! This illness is change enough! Parkinson’s has many faces! Sometimes it’s hard watching, seeing mood changes! The past two days have been good! After the error in medications was fixed! I started this at the rehab, I am home! Continued prayers for this journey we are on, that we did not ask for! God knows better than us! Trust and Obey! That gives me peace and hope! You never know when your loved one might need your voice! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I am so tired tonight! If I get in bed tonight with that iPad, I will fall asleep typing! So, I will write in the morning! Tomorrow care plan! Please keep us all in your prayers! A lot of decision making! When the dust finally settles, we will be secure together! Have a good evening! God is in control and good! P. S. Denny did really good today! God bless!❤️🤗😴🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Sitting by a hospital bed or a wheelchair all day gives you a lot of time! My mind plays our love story over and over! I love our love story! Everyone who hears it, loves it! I’ve been told recently, it could be a Hallmark movie! I moved to the City of Toledo, from the country! I was driving to work, there was an explosion at the Sun Oil Co. It was on fire! I never saw anything like it, I turned around to look, and ran into the back of a car! Paddy Wagon! Two Police Officers! One in the truck typing the report, the other one writing the ticket! I left that job for Dunkin Donuts counter waitress, maybe four months later! Paddy Wagon pulls in, and in walks the one who gave me the ticket! He said, my partner out there has been looking for you, thinks your pretty cute! I was not a nice person then, smart mouth! I said, if I’m so cute, why is he not in here! When he finally came in, I thought, he’s a lot older than me! Almost 10 years! Fast forward, I fell hard for that one! His eyes, blue, so intense! His smile was very shy! We started sitting in there, talking! His eyes could look right through my soul! He was in a head on crash, did not come in to see me, I was frantic! That’s when I knew, this is going to be love! We had a rocky relationship! When he was ready to get married, we set a small wedding together, a big snow storm cancelled our wedding, we were even in the blade, everything in downtown Toledo was closed! Nobody talks about that storm in 1977! Fast forward, we still were rocky, but we made it! All the way to 42 years! The vows live and are put to the test! I would do us over in a heartbeat! I don’t know where time went! We lost so much playing cat and mouse! When we finally, meaning me, started to grow up, he got sick! I had to grow up quickly! My Denny is still alive, I know he is in there! The blue eyes are the same, the shy smile I see once in awhile! So now in sickness it is my honor to take care of him, after all we have been through together! It’s all I want! I’m thinking with my heart, thankful our children are here to help guide things in proper directions! Denny Reed is a selfless man! Such a giver in taking care of his family! God will see us through this! I don’t have to like it! I will forever see him standing in a pink shop, with my pink uniform and his blue uniform! Some may ask, how did you get through those rough spots, our love for each other never stopped! That love grew into a huge commitment! God of miracles! His love will remain for the rest of my lifetime! Make your story count! God bless! ❤️🤗🤗❤️

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Good evening! Monday blog! Sometimes life is moving so fast, you cannot keep up! Especially unforeseen things, like illness! Big fork in the road, big road block,, detour, accident ahead! Anger, frustration, denial, fear, worry! These things can run you over, like a giant semi! No warning! One could start to feel defeated a lot! There are no journeys without bumps on the road! Let’s not forget the unexpected pot hole! You get the picture! How you accept change is what I’m getting at! If you are one who had your journey all mapped out, disappointment is a big one to swallow! We didn’t make a map together! It’s been like one wave after another! Change can be hard or it can make something brand new! It’s all in how you see it! Some big changes are happening for or to, Denny and I! Continued prayers for our journey! Sometimes my thoughts get away from me! I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I do know God is holding us! Have a good night! Sleep well! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

It’s not a good evening! This will be quick, Sunday blog! My heart is broken for my husband, my Denny! Only God can hold me now! Do the tears ever stop? I see my strong, hard working, giving man, in his uniform! His shy smile is still there, we see it every so often! The smile that made my heart flip! It was not suppose to be this way! Dear God, please hold us all! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, please pour your peace and comfort over us, I need your strength, keep us strong! I need you more than ever! My cup is empty tonight! Please give my Denny comfort and love and your miraculous touch! In your name I ask! Amen! Please keep praying for God’s will! Goodnight, hold those loved ones tight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! It will give to you and make you a happy heart! Your whole being can be a happy heart! Don’t you smile more when your heart is happy? I have learned to smile, even in sadness! I can be sad, but, my heart is still happy! As soon as my eyes open in the morning, I am up! So eager, I do not know what to start first! Wait, that’s a lie! Coffee is always first!☕️☕️☕️ I do have one rule for myself, I won’t get up before 2:00am! So much to be grateful for! Practice makes perfect! 21 days to form a new habit! Say thank you more! Sitting with Denny all day, people running in and out all day, doing, doing, doing! That’s a lot of thank you’s! I have so much to be grateful for, my mom, our home with mom, the Beagle is not alone like before, my health, my walk at the park! It alone does so much for me! I am grateful for having Denny everyday! Our children are loving and caring adults! I keep my eyes and ears open, and I do learn from them! I know they worry about me! They think I don’t listen! My attitude has come a long way! Always room to learn more everyday! I am thankful for all of you! I am especially grateful for Gods mercy and grace and forgiveness! Have a good night! Have a wonderful holiday weekend with family! Make memories! Be grateful! Hold them tight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

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Good evening! Friday blog! In times of trouble, don’t we all pray in some form, to something or someone! My someone is my Heavenly Father, He answers all prayer! I think a lot of us turn away when God does not give us what we asked for! God does not answer that way! His ways are far above our ways! He knows what’s best for us! I know what his word says! There is never an unanswered prayer! Our selfishness, that always wants our own way, does not like the answers! When you truly let go and let God! Powerful things can happen! Which is what I did in 2016, when I rededicated my life to Christ! Satan had his way with my life way too long! A train wreck cannot take care of a sick husband! A forgiven woman can take care of her husband! Love motivates me everyday! That motivation comes from God! I’m far from perfect! I know I have been forgiven! I have been changed in ways I did not think was possible! If I never see or hear another soul, God holds me and comforts me! When I think my tears will never stop! God says different, when it’s time, He dries my eyes! And He does it tenderly and lovingly! There is not one thing or one person anywhere in this world, that He cannot forgive and take care of! What a comfort! Run to Him! Fall in His arms, He will cradle you and love you like nothing else! I cannot live without My Lord Jesus! I tried! I cry out to Him continually! He hears me, and the peace that passes all understanding washes over me like waves from the ocean! I stand in awe of that kind of love and power! So, what’s in a prayer? Whatever your heart needs to pour out to the one who can take care of your every need! I am laying in bed, my doggie is snoring, I don’t know what the future holds, and after all of those tears, I am smiling just thinking of Gods pure love and my soul is at rest and peace! He calmed my storms and I rest in Him and only His promises! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

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Good evening! Thursday blog! I really want to express how much all of you mean to Denny and I! Your thoughts, your prayers, and encouragement! When Denny is taking a nap, I catch up on all of you, or I try to! I know I have probably missed some things, I’m sorry! I really do like to comment as much as I can! Today was a good day, all the way around! I apologized to an aide, she hugged me! She is now my favorite! Two different aides made sure sure I had lunch and supper! I don’t want to eat in front of Denny! There is a little day room right by Denny’s room! I eat in there! We don’t see many people! We have family coming and some friends from church! One of the ladies from our church is in there, we stop by each other’s rooms! They exercised together! I believe social media can be used for a lot of good things! It is very nice to read all of your kind words! I really appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my blog! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Thank you Lord Jesus! All of our days are different, but, all of our days are from You! If Denny could express that, he would! I thank my God, for every one of you! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I found myself getting very angry today! I have been sitting thinking and crying, thinking and crying! Now, I am angry at myself! My husband Denny Wayne Reed age 76, he is a husband, father, grandfather, great grand father! He was a policeman for 28 yrs., an umpire, a 300 bowler! I consider him wonderful in all of these areas! He should be given the utmost respect, from all who meet him and know him! He does not share in any conversation! Not one person is going to know how wonderful this man is, if they don’t hear it from me! I am tired of standing t and watching everyone think they know better about him than I do! Denny has no voice anymore in any of these medical decisions! I was his voice today and I don’t think I did a very good job! Now I will take on the job of being his voice, his mind, his ears, his sight! Advocacy will be another title! Today I had it way over the top of my head! Life is not fair, we do not get to pick and choose what illness might come our way, it’s devastating! I did not think my heart could be anymore ripped than it was today! But, do not mess with a woman who has always loved him! Caregivers at facilities need compassion classes more than anything else! They chose their job! I am angry, but it has to be a positive anger or nothing will be accomplished! Denny will have good days and then, not so good days! I know that! He should, he deserves to be treated every day with respect, and dignity! Why can’t they see that he is all of those titles to us and so much more! I am turning my tears into determination for Denny and his care! I can roar, if you make me mad enough, where my family is concerned! I just need to breathe! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! I just feel drained, like a cup spilled on the floor! Fear and worry, are not from God! I do not want to give into that! I will admit now, I begged God, please don’t take him! Not like this! So that was fear, and God forgives! When you sit in a hospital room day in and day out, there is no other place I want to be! I’m there, I want to be, I need to be! But the mind is like a tape recorder, it can play over and over and it can destroy a person! Turn your mind and heart to the one that will take it and carry it all! Just like that, burden lifted! What if there are things you wanted to do, things in your heart that were never discussed, because no one knew how to talk about pain! When we chose to forgive and forget, that’s the tough part! When a person says, I forgive, but I can’t forget! They have not forgiven! You have to let go of the past! I only want to look in Denny’s eyes and have him see, tender loving care from me! Our past does not matter anymore! I do and say the right things, but when I shut the bedroom door, I let it all out! I sit down and cry with my Beagle! In the morning, I wake up at 3:00 am, my own inner clock! Walking prepares me, to do it all over again! We are in Gods hands, Gods plan! He will give us the power and strength to see this through! I cling to those promises! Let it go! Whatever it is, it’s not worth it! Do not go to bed angry! You never know when that bed will become empty! You do not want to live with that! Have a great night of rest! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

I do! Good evening! Monday blog! I am not getting on the band wagon about exercise! It’s a personal choice! One that I made to start my recovery process! August, 2015! Four years I have been walking! Even in my little breaks, surgery, weather, Denny’s hospital stays, I got right back at it! I believe God took control of my life, to get my body prepared for taking care of my husband! You would be surprised what I can lift! God knows way ahead of us what we are going to face! He shows us the way with His powerful words! Walk for your life or is life walking you? Life was walking, actually, running all over me! When I get up in the morning, I look in the mirror and tell myself, Good Morning, Marilyn, how is your day going to be? It’s not crazy! It’s healing and part of what I do to take care of me! Because I am important! If you are not getting any reinforcement positivity, you make your own! I make my own happy! I do my own pep talks, if I am crying and I do, I give myself permission, to be compassionate to myself! I don’t know if that is wrong or right! It pushes me through whatever I have going on! I missed the past two days! I so hope I can walk in the morning! I don’t do rain! Walking is a gift, we need it to get around and accomplish things! Is it time for change! Life ran me, way to long! I don’t ever want to see the addictive me again! She tried to destroy me! I walk for many reasons! The park just gives me more reasons! Have a good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️ 19 7

Good evening! Sunday quickie blog! I see my cup, half full! Even in my lost, negative mind, I saw it that way! Denny always saw it half empty and so does our son! Mom, half full, dad, half empty, sister, half empty, daughter, I think half full! And so on! I think it is interesting how we come to view things that way! I love this verse for me! Recovery really helped me turn things around, for my personal self! But, putting my life back in Gods hands, this is really true! I cried all the way home tonight! I am not depressed, I am not overwhelmed with sadness! I am mentally tired! The need to go home, collect my thoughts, give it all to God! He fills my cup, and it does run over with goodness and Gods precious gifts to me! Gifts I do not deserve! Grace, mercy and never ending forgiveness! Don’t you find these four words comforting? My Cup Runneth Over! It is from the 23rd Psalm that is read at every funeral! It is a comfort! I need that comfort and assurance everyday, every minute! My heart is full tonight! Denny was ready to sleep when I left, our two daughters came, spent time, our son called before bed, to see how his dad did today! Those little extras mean so much! Couple of texts from our Birthday Girl! Our kids and grandkids are my world, more now than ever! Our children have forgiving hearts, life was not always pleasant! Their love is ever present! My Cup Runneth Over, I am just thankful to have a cup! I will look for the silver lining in all I do! My most important job, right now, is all of the proper care for him! Wife is not first anymore! That is ok! I am at peace with that! Check your cup! You just might have to change its path! Have a wonderful night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good day! Saturday blog! The waiting game! I have played this one a lot! I have lost count of how many hospital stays Denny has had! I had a few thrown in there also!Since 2013 we have played this game, if you or a loved one has been sick and with lengthy stays at hospitals and rehab places! It can get rough on the mind! To sit and sit some more can be depressing, boring, you brain thinking all the wrong things or playing tricks on you! One day spills into another! I have learned along this path, to bring a well packed bag, so I can keep my mind and hands busy! When you plan ahead, for anything, it saves you stress! I bring it all, iPad, cords, paper, books, my journal, magazines, water, earphones, and of course, my phone! I can pick and choose! Then as the hours pass, there is always a nap, if need be! Since Denny cannot have food or drink, I don’t want eat in front of him! I go to the cafeteria for a little break! You just don’t want to sit there worrying and fretting the worst! That can take its toll on you! Especially if you let your mind go wild with fear of the uncertainty! We just have to wait it out, I don’t want Denny to see a face full of fear and worry! The #1 pastime, praying and praising the one who has it all under control anyway! That’s the best for passing time! Giving you peace, comfort, renewing faith, giving you the strength for whatever Gods plan is for you and what’s going on with your loved ones! Like a husband that I am not ready to part with! I lift him to the greatest physician of all, everyday, every hour! Our future is in His hands! In between praying, I have all of my other pastimes! Denny is still very tired! I thought I would write while he is getting a bath! Fresh as a daisy for the day! Enjoy your weekend! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday quickie blog! Today was special! To walk in his room this morning, was witnessing a miracle! I believe in miracles! I always have! Just as I believe in Angels! Denny slept most of the day, alert when he wakes up! We have the miracle of family, even extended family! The kids have been in and out! I am in and out! Even some cousins have popped in! If they make you smile and put some light in your eyes, then they are walking, talking miracles! We all have them! I love all of our miracles! And every extension of them! We are like trees! New branches sprouting everywhere! Thank you to all of our miracles, that pop in and out of our lives just when we need them most! As always, make some miraculous memories this weekend, before summer is over! While your doing it, make sure you throw around plenty of, I love you’s, hugs, and kisses! Have a wonderful night and weekend! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! Forgive me for missing a couple of days! I tried to write at the hospital, but could not concentrate! Faith, believing, without seeing! I love this verse! It is strong! I want that kind of faith, I need that kind of faith, I have that kind of faith everyday! Even standing alone by Denny’s bed, choking on tears! I love him more in sickness than I did in health! I think he would say the same thing! We had it backwards! Appreciate each other in health! Not just spouses, everyone! We don’t honor each other the way we should! We should be encouragers of health! Then when sickness shows, we can take extra, loving care! We should show massive strength in all we do and say! Living examples for each other! Even though I cried a lot today, when I am done, my joy remains! Today, no matter what, I smiled at more people, I said goodbye! I said, have a great day! A great evening! Even the the people taking care of Denny, even though I am not happy about some decisions, I thanked every person!Have you put it into practice? Just because I am hurting, does not give me the right to be mean nasty! So my Faith grew today! Being faithless hurts everyone, including you! I am trying to learn lessons while I am around all of that pain and hurt! Someone might be hurting more than you! God will show you! Ask Him! The Master of all things! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️Matthew 17:20✝️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Of all of our hospital stays, this is by far the worst! Starting in 2013! There has been many and lengthy! I cannot imagine my throat not allowing me to swallow! Not to be able to enjoy food! For the time being, food and drink are gone for Denny! My prayer, not forever! Nothing by mouth, not even meds! Speech therapy started today! Of course all of these people know our faces! A feeding tube went in yesterday that he just could not tolerate, or stop choking! He failed the swallow test! He has been asleep most of the day! Gastric surgeon came in! A feeding tube will go into his stomach Thursday or Friday after the blood thinner is stopped! I will not ask God why! My peace and comfort rolls over me like a beautiful flowing river! That is the peace that passes all understanding! My human mind cannot even think of what this would be like if I did not have God! My human mind and heart begs, please do not take him from us! God says, pour your burdens on me and I will make them light! The word of God allows me to breathe! Because He lives, I can face tomorrow! Because He lives all fear is gone! Because I know who holds the future and life is worth the living, just because He lives! One of my very favorite songs! So, I know God sees me, I know God hears me and He wipes my tears away! Don’t get me wrong! My humanness wants to take Denny and keep Him safe from all harm and sickness! I give it to God every minute! I thought watching my dad become sick was rough, so much more! Dear God, hold Denny and I in your hands! Fill us with all of your goodness! We will cling to your light that shines forever! Hold Denny in your arms all night! Amen!🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻Have a blessed night with your loved ones! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

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Good evening! Monday blog! It has been one of those days, to say the least! Please continue to pray for Denny! All I am going to say is, he failed his swallow test! It has been a rough afternoon! I am still at the hospital! Being very concerned about Denny’s congestion today! I was getting overwhelmed! A nurse from 2 years ago that took care of Denny, came walking down the hallway! She is a believer and she prayed with us when he was so sick then! I believe God sent an Angel! She took over when she came in! Nothing against any other nurses anywhere, and I know many, I have been taken care of by many! When a wife keeps saying repeatedly, he is choking! So, this night nurse, she has been on it! Maybe I can get some rest! Yes, all nurses are Angels! When it’s your husband, feelings are on high alert! There will be lots of therapy going on again! God is faithful, God is good all of the time! Even in these trying times! I am leaning on Him! Have a good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Can be sad decisions! It does not make it a wrong decision! Good evening! Sunday blog!This hospital stay is showing me things, I don’t want to see! Hearing things, I don’t want to hear! Our children think I don’t always listen! Yes, I am a rebel, but when I have time to think about it all, our kids are smart! They think with their heads, with common sense and say it patiently, with love! I think with my heart! The heart is not always the best decision maker! Yes our children feel deeply with their hearts! I know they love us, they want the best for us! I appreciate their honesty with me! It hurts to see this once strong and giving man, who took care of our every need! I have been very emotional today! We all need to be level headed! It does not mean I am weak or uncaring! Quite the opposite! It means, you are never to old to learn, even from your kids! That takes strength, maturity and being responsible for things you never thought you would have to face! For parents and children working together for the good of the one person, that we all love! Their Father! That is when the big one comes into play! In sickness and in health! So we will work as a team! I do not want them to shy away from saying things to me! Good decision making things! To the one who has taken excellent care of me, for better or worse, he has loved me through some ugly stuff! Loved and forgave me as God said! I love Denny Reed forever! Dear God, please take care of him! Whisper some prayers tonight! Again grab your loved ones, make sure they know you love them and will always do right by them! Have a wonderful night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday quickie blog! After writing about sour lemons, Denny was taken to the hospital this morning! High fever, and pneumonia! He will be in the hospital for a few days! He is resting comfortably tonight! I am on my way home! Yes please and thank you for prayers and support! I will try to keep you posted on my blog! As always, while you have the time, grab those loved ones, squeeze them tight, say, I love you! Wake up to a beautiful Sunday! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! I choose pie for Denny, his favorite! Although, we do like lemonade! I think our whole family does! Lemons are beautiful and there is a number of things you can do with them! In our 42 years, we have had some bumps on our road! Sour lemons! Some normal bumps, that we did not know or were equipped mentally to handle! It happens if you do not have good people skills! The teenage years can bring a few bumps, not good if you have not learned the proper way to handle punishment or be able to sit down and talk! Once again regret wants to creep in! You have to go, I do not have time for you! Our children and grandchildren know how much we love them! I just did not know I was suppose to take care of me! I just thought I was suppose to be there all the time, day and night! I always had it all done, I wanted to look like I could handle it all! But on the inside I was flawed! I am so happy and so thankful that I really was able to rise above! Our years when we did not know we were bipolar, now that’s a big bag of lemons! I have made a lot of lemon pie! When Denny first started falling, that can put a glitch in your day! Coming home from somewhere finding him down! Countless rescue runs, hospital stays! I was not prepared! I felt like I was choking on lemons! I loved this man for so long and I did not know what to do! Really, in all reality, I was sicker than Denny! I am so thankful for a family that still loves me! That looked past the sin and saw a sick lost woman that knew an illness was taking the one person away that I had always depended on! All of our hearts were broken! Our daughter said to me, you and dad always were able to hate the sin and love the sinner! Meaning we did something right! Sour lemons does not mean you have to give up! Never stop looking for something to make with those lemons! In the end, we will be eating lemon pie all together at that big banquet table! With Jesus, the giver of lemons! Choose love and lemon pie! Our family loves lemon pie! Have a great night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️🍋🥧🍋

Good evening! Thursday blog! Our days seem to be running together! Time seems to be moving so quickly! It does not take much to put tears in my eyes! Since recovery and Gods help turning my life around! I love you means so much more! Tears are stinging my eyes just typing it! Thats when regret wants to creep in! I dismiss that right away! Even when I was running around acting like a fool, I said I love you to all of my family, all the time! I meant it! Now, I feel it deeply, like an arrow in my heart! I cannot stress it enough, don’t get tired of hearing it! If it’s not a regular thing, if you think they should know it! Start an I love you trend, believe me, it will catch on and everyone will love hearing it! Like music to yours and their ears! I am a romantic, that makes saying I love you even better! Hearts are my favorite shape, especially red ones! Our son is a Valentine baby, makes that love day even more important for I love you! I am crazy about love! Don’t let anyone take it away from you! Don’t say, but they never say it! You know how! The more you say it and light up faces, you will be an I love you pro! I love getting I love you texts from our grandchildren! That’s one of the best! I love all of you and thank you always for your prayer support! This is short and sweet and I hope very meaningful! Goodnight and God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog, continuation of last night! I failed to mention in my self care, last evening! I have 3 joint replacements! 2 hips, 1 knee! I get injections in my other knee! Which I got today! The reason I am sharing this, I know some people who are barely walking around because of constant pain! I was one of them! I had a tear, surgery and therapy! The MRI showed bone on bone! I wasted 7 years out of fear, until I could not walk, then it was replaced! I wore my own hip out from the way I was walking! 1 year later that was replaced! 2017, the other replaced! I would have never reached the level of walking that I do! Don’t wait! Life is way to short to just hobble around! When my left knee goes, I’m gone, get it replaced! I also have on both feet, bunions! When they get bad! Surgery! I also get B-12 shots every week! All for long term health and care of myself! The faster you get it done, the faster you can get back to life! With a new lease on life! Don’t let fear hold you back, it will cripple you! I love to look up images that say a lot! Enjoy! Wishing you all a good nights sleep! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️