Marilyn’s Heart

Good morning! Wednesday blog! I have a couple more like yesterday! Why not? I still think about just jumping in the car with Denny, on a trip to nowhere! A boat, or a plane! Who doesn’t get excited about a trip? We always did! All six of us when the kids were young! Those memories mean more to me now than ever before! The kids feel that way! They talk about the Cabin in Canada often! It would be a dream come true for us to all be there again, together, with grandkids also! Some of them were there, to young to remember! Denny and I remember! Camp La Plage! Out on the Lake Nipissing, everyday, in a cedar boat, just a beautiful lake and setting for families! The 4th largest lake out of 250,000 in Ontario! Including the Great Lakes! Some things you don’t forget! So peaceful by any body of water! Certainly, some of our best times as a family! Denny and I will be traveling in heaven for sure! Doesn’t everyone think of and plan trips for retirement? We thought we had time! But it never came! Denny worked right up to getting sick! It’s painful for all of us to think of that! Such a hard working man! Our ultimate trip, on streets of gold, Heaven! I can’t stress it enough! Take time!! Tomorrow might not come! I take each day as it comes, one day at a time, with Denny! We are facing it all with each other! That’s our plan! Soooo thankful for everyday that we have together! Picnics by the water, that’s our favorite now! I think with this poem I will post The Cabin again! Enjoy, think of us! As we think of you! Make today count! God bless!❤️🤗🏡🤗❤️

Good afternoon! Tuesday blog! How odd that I would choose my poem Dreamer, after A Gambling Mind! Two completely different, dreams and fantasies! My dream world about my love, my romance, my relationship with my Denny, as we knew it before Parkinson’s, is definitely on a flip side! Not a bad side, just a different side! Let’s be honest, don’t we all fantasize about something, even we Christians, dream about Jesus and heaven! So all of the romance we see in movies, TV shows, even commercials go overboard! So, as I write words like this, I am dreaming of a time with Denny, the before, the now, the end and the hereafter! Life is not over with Parkinson’s, but, it is very different, anger, denial and grief are steps that have to be gone through in every painful thing in life! It has taken me a bit of time to work through these 3 stages! It is a learning process in this life! Thankful I have learned the meaning of commitment! To God and Denny! I will say again, being bipolar together, was crazy love, and that can make everything crazy! We were not crazy, it is hard for people watching and wondering, why are they acting like that! Sick brains! I do wish we could do some of the things I write about! I urge all of you young and healthy couples, do not waste precious time! So, enjoy my poem, let it take you back to a time when you were crazy in love and still have that with the love of your life! For me, my Denny! God bless! Have a wonderful evening!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning! Monday morning blog! I am going to share this morning about my gambling addiction! Why? Because today I finished my 6th journal and starting my 7th! Yes, I am proud of that! Before, I was a person that did not always finish things or did not follow through with things! Gambling just started out as fun for Denny and I! We started really liking it, spending weekends in Windsor or wherever there was a casino! Over the course of years, it became part of our everyday life, vacations! The kids were grown, we deserved time away! Whatever excuse came, we were in the trap! Only we did not know it! Denny was able to take it or leave it! Not so with me! Everything we celebrated, I wanted it at a casino somewhere! To the point of risking everything, including relationships! I was in a fantasy world everyday! If I was not at a casino, I was dreaming about being at one! And, in my mind I was winning bigger and bigger! Talk about a break with reality! In 2013 Denny became very ill, to handle that pain, I went to the casino more and more! Cars, busses, just get me there! How selfish! Denny saw the problem and spoke to our daughter about it! Not good! Our daughter is very strong where her father is concerned! To make a long story short! I was confronted, I sought help, going about it all wrong! Starting in 2014 and Denny’ diagnoses of Parkinson’s, I relapsed 3 times! It was not good! I went to a center for help! I found out a lot! Addictive personality! I just kept trading one for another, summer of 2015, I started walking, I had 30lbs creep back on me in my misery! That was after a gastric bypass! Really not good!!! I was walking misery! But, I had to show, I meant business! My family was riding on my recovery! I kept walking, I took that extra 30lbs. off and another 20! My bipolar mind wanted to fly under the radar, I am on meds, I just wanted my own way! Time to take responsibility for myself! My positive go to’s are, God first, prayer, journaling, walking and baking! I am 3 years clean from gambling, I am 8 years out from my bypass surgery and I am steady at 100lbs off, walking almost 4 years, starting my 7th journal! My family trusts me again, God keeps me in check! Only positive thinking, I choose Joy and happiness every morning! All of those other emotions, they are still there, I am human! I take care of each one as it comes! So this poem is about how bad my addiction had become and in my mind what I was willing to sacrifice to keep it! So thankful for a family that loves me, cares for me and did not stop until they had a healthy mom to be a healthy caregiver for their father! I was forgiven! They love us beyond measure! I did not think it was possible to put that life behind me, guess what, I was wrong! Forgive yourself! God bless! He will help you! Have a fabulous day and week!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday evening blog! I am not talking about living in the past or thinking of the past, or not being able to put the past behind you! Just Fantasy Fun! Fond memories of things gone by, adding to how fun it would be to see ourselves having fun, healthy fun! Not all of us had that! But, seriously, take the time to lay on the grass and stare at the clouds with your spouse, children or grandchildren! You will feel a sense of freedom! Life does not have to be busy, busy all the time! I still love the thrill of hide and seek! Spin around in the rain, jump in a puddle, your clothes are washable! You know, you can give yourself permission! Too many people running around, angry and in chains! Chained to things that don’t matter anymore! Be your own power source! Be a bright, positive light in someone’s life! I am speaking the truth! The energy that is spent being angry, negative and hurtful, turn that around, rise above, you will be stronger and more powerful! Then it can be channeled in helping others rise past their demons! Smiles are infectious! Practice! Eye contact, say good morning to everyone! So what if they don’t say it back! Do this for you! God has been the changer for my life, but it took a lot of help from other sources! Then the positive light came on within me! God bless! Have a good night!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good afternoon! Friday afternoon blog! In appreciation of all our natural wonders of the world! I wrote a poem this morning about one of our beautiful Great Lakes! I was fortunate enough to live right by Lake Erie for 17 years! But my thought process then, was nothing compared to now! I moved back to my childhood home last April! One whole year I have been back and enjoying everything from my childhood with a new appreciation! Of course Maumee Bay State Park was not here when I was growing up! When I am walking, I can’t wait to get back there! I love a beach, any beach, I love the sound of rolling waves, sun glistening on the water! Such peaceful and serene things to see and hear! The sound of all of the different birds, is like music! We heard birds in town, but you could not see them! Not quite the same! Why didn’t I see and hear these things growing up! My mind was in so much turmoil most of the time, I think I was blind in many ways! Sights and sounds of nature are like music, if you are really listening! Just look around you, at what you have around you! You just might see something for the first time! Calm the storms inside your mind and soul! I find even the rain coming down in a pattern or the sound, is beautiful! Look and listen, be at one with everything around you! Be at peace with yourself! I have a new lease on life! God is giving me blessings every day! More than I ever imagined when we moved here! Open your eyes, in mind, body and soul, get in touch with all of your senses! God can show you things you never imagined, if you want it! Beauty can rise out of pain and make you strong in very positive ways! Bring balance into your life, all parts, mind, body, and soul! Spiritual, mental, and physical! Balance and moderation in all things! You have to know, you are sooooo worth it! You are amazing! God bless! Have a wonderful evening! Enjoy!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning! Thursday morning blog! Forgive me for not posting yesterday! Sometime my day just gets away from me! No excuse! We are going to go back a few years! I am not proud of this time in my life, nor do I talk about it very often! But, being bipolar and not knowing about it, I really thought my behavior was not anybodies business! But, when a person takes a 500 degree turn around, question marks should pop up! Instead I was labeled, some not very nice names! Looking Back, I don’t even know that woman and how she could hurt so many people, the ones she wanted, and loved more than anything! After all, it was my life! No, no it is not! I am here to talk about these things by the grace of my Lord and Savior! My attitude about it was not nice! I already shared that I was married at 17, by choice! Doesn’t marriage and starting a family remove all of your problems and behaviors? Unfortunately I found out , delusional thinking! I am so happy I can talk about and share these things without all of that ugly baggage! I am not perfect, I am not proud, I am thankful and grateful! I really was good at fooling people! It took me a long time to get things right, forgive myself, ask God to forgive me and help me! I was 63 to be exact! Yes, sad I know! I could choose to live with regret, shame, guilt! What good would that do? I visit those things sometimes, regret is a big one! I lost precious time, that I will never get back! I have touched on that before! Be careful with your choices, when you think and believe you are not hurting anyone! You are deceiving yourself! It trickles down through the family! When trust is broken, it is very hard to get it back! When I divorced, I went to work in a bar, that’s where I was driving to, when I got the ticket from Denny! We connected when I went to work at Dunkin Donuts! This poem today just touches on how bad my thinking process was! I had a child, I ran around every night, like I was the only person in the world! Talk about regret! That’s my past, just a glimpse! I thought I was in love everyday! You can be addicted to people! I was not in a good place when I married Denny! We have had our struggles! But 42 years later! I am grateful for everything! I love this man, we made it through! God healed me , going through recovery, working through every detail! You really cannot get any more negative than wanting to end it all! When you believe you will never get past the pain! Guess what? You can! I’m actually excited when I go to bed at 8:00 pm! Because, I cannot wait to start the next day! Even facing Denny’s illness everyday, I choose joy and happiness! God has a plan for all of us! I want positive every minute of every day! My choices are healthy! Mentally and physically! I do it for me, the best me can give the best care to my husband! I have said it before, I am not perfect, Parkinson’s is not a nice disease! One day at a time! I will keep smiling for Denny and everyone who needs to see a smile! If you need help in any of these areas, do not hesitate to get help! Thanks for listening! God bless! Make it your best day ever!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good afternoon! Tuesday blog! The poem today is about our 50th class reunion, from Clay High School! Starting way back in the 1950’s! I have all 6 classroom pictures! June, 2020, 50 years! I can hardly grasp those numbers and how fast time has gone! Our officers from our class, are the best, Sherry Van Camp, we cannot thank you enough for always keeping us close at heart! I love the connections on Facebook and Instagram! Technology still amazes me! I might not get it right away, but I do not give up! My grandchildren are all smart in those areas and their moms are teachers! My answers are just a phone call away! Growing up in school, I did not care about learning anything! Now I cannot get enough! I am like a sponge! I always say, I am not good at math! Cooking, baking, sewing and quilting all use math! I love it! Old dogs can learn new tricks! Compliments from my mom at my age, are very nice to hear! When she sees me doing, any number of things, she says, how did you get so smart? I say, I have always been smart, I just did not use it! It’s only to late when you are gone! I have wasted a lot of time! I am all about squeezing in as much life as I can! I am responsible for me, my joy, my happiness! Without those two things, I would not be able to give my Denny proper care! He deserves loving kindness everyday! My smile comforts him, makes him less anxious! We have a lot going on in this little house! God brought us back here for a reason! My peace and comfort come from the Lord! He has taken care of me through all of my storms! I have no reason to doubt! At the end of my life, that will be the reunion of all reunions! God bless! Have a wonderful evening! Positive changes in your life are right at your fingertips!🥰❤️🤗🤗❤️🥰

Good morning! Monday morning blog! In light of Fathers Day yesterday, being with our children and grandchildren, when I first started writing these poems, I was just jotting down feelings! My feelings and dedication to my family, especially since recovery, another story! I really could sit and look at them forever! God has blessed me, just me, I am talking about! My children and grandchildren are beautiful gifts! My life has not been a bed of roses! Many of my scars and painful issues were my own doing! But, then there are other issues, painful things! Things people don’t want to hear or talk about, also, another story! With Mothers Day also so close, I am soooo happy and blessed and thankful to be a mom and honor my husband also on his special day! I married in 1970, only 17! I have been pregnant four times, I was 18 years old, four months pregnant! I lost a baby girl! When you are that far along, you go into labor! I was in the hospital, my baby passed in the middle of the night! I was alone with a nurse! It was never spoken of by anyone! Like it never happened, to this day, it is still painful! Divorced at 21! I wanted children more than anything! I did not have my son until I was 20! With fertility help! I had a lot of life going on in between my children! Married Denny in 1977, another miscarriage, was not very far along, still emotionally painful, to think I could have had four children, more fertility and finally a baby girl! A daughter! So, I have 4 children, 2 are in heaven! Now, I am facing great grandma in November! I don’t even have words! I love my family beyond measure! Yesterday, being all together like that, it all plays in my head! Their smiles, laughter, watching them interact with each other! I am still blessed with 4 children, I have Denny’s two from his previous! One big happy family! We all have our demons! I have made peace with mine! I now love every part of my life! Even the parts I tried to forget! It has all made me who I am! I am passionate about my family and protective! But I cannot do their life! We all have to find our own way! It is very important not to get stuck! My children mean the world to me, gifts from God! These two poems touch a little bit of what they mean and my memories of their childhood! Thank you God for blessing me abundantly! Have a wonderful start to your week! God is good! Thank you for listening! Enjoy my poems!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning! Saturday blog! When I got up today, I saw right away, I posted the wrong poem! Although I like that one, I shared that one on Memorial Day! I thought it was fitting since my dad was a POW! Today’s poem I wrote at the same time, looking back, seeing things differently than I did as a child! My sister and I have great family memories! Nothing can take that from us! My dad gave his all with what he had! He put his family first! Everyone loved him! My greatest memory, one of the Pastors at Main St. Church assured me that dad had accepted Jesus! When my time comes, my dad will take my hands, twirl me around, as I scream with delight! Not here, but in heaven! Once again, I cannot stress enough, put your demons to rest! Live today as if it is your last! Be thankful! When I get up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning, I am so excited, I do not know what to do first! Waking up, still breathing, these things are gifts! My God, is a mighty God! “HE”can do all things! God bless your weekend, look past the rain, the “Son” and Sun are still there! Give thanks with a grateful heart! Pick one thing, tackle it with everything you have! I have been blessed beyond measure with wonderful parents! I never went without! My dad is a real hero, not just from the war! Thank you dad! You are missed! Be, be, be your best you! Our journeys through this life, are life lessons, not mistakes! Learn from the lessons! It took me quite a while to figure it out!❤️🤗🤗❤️Is my dad, handsome or what!😍🥰😘

Good evening! Friday blog! Since Denny and I moved back into my childhood home, with mom, I sit in this living room a lot! Don’t think my bipolar mind isn’t all over the map! How can I not think about, seeing him on the couch, sitting at the table! When I bake! I think of him! He liked his goodies, especially pie! I hear his hearty laugh! He loved taking all of us in the car, Clay Football games, no matter where it took place! We would leave right after he got home from work! It does not take much to flood my mind with memories!! I now know why everyone loved him so much! He truly was a giving man! I have so many regrets! I wish I could sit down with him one more time! Some of the great grandkids did not get to know him! My grieving took its toll! That’s when I gained a lot of weight! Dad was not real active, his love of food packed pounds on! I knew I had to do something about mine! I wish my dad could see me now, see how far I have come with recovery! Time just keeps going faster! In honor of my dad, I wrote this in April! If you are fortunate enough to still have your dad, tell him, even if he can’t or won’t answer! Regret is an awful thing to live with! If your dad is already gone with unresolved things from the past, I urge you to sit down and write a letter of love and forgiveness to him! Get that negative thought process out of your mind and heart! It will eat you alive! Our fathers did the best they could, in some very hard situations! If your father could come back, I believe they would want the very best for us! Be your best you for you! Be happy in this life! I love my dad more now than I did when he was still living! God bless! Get a good nights rest!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Today is TBT! Which I find cute and fun! Good morning! Thursday blog! I love to see the change in people, with hair, clothes, trends, fads! You know what I mean! I did all that and more! Looking for the elusive love, joy and happiness! I thought I was happy, only when I looked good to the eye! Don’t look at my heart! It was filled with all kinds of ugly! Eventually all of the nasty  comes to the surface and explodes in all kinds of negative behavior and choices! Which were all very harmful to me, my family and all of my relationships everywhere! I lived a double life for too long! I am in no way telling anyone how to live their life or make changes! For me, it had to be done! Sometimes you are on a slow suicide with your choices! I was! Just harmful everyday, taking it out on my husband or anyone else, like myself! It is a horrible feeling to not be happy! God is the giver of life! So thankful I see that now! I want to be the best me! If I blow it, I keep moving forward, not backward! Just examine you today, see where your at! I can’t say it enough, it is possible! Today’s poem, change is possible! I cannot say it enough! Be happy with you! When I say be kind, that includes yourself! Give yourself the gift of the best you today! My greatest gifts, my family did not give up on me, but, most important, neither did God and “HE” never will! Live a blessed life today! Tomorrow is not promised!❤️🤗🤗❤️God bless!❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! Did you ever have one of those days? Only time today to squeeze in all of the errands, that need done and some others to catch up on! It all landed in one day! Car wash, banking, meds pick up, Steak and Shake in the car, drop Beagle to the groomer, my B-12 shot, Dave’s for shoes, some pick ups at Kroger’s, Beagle pick up, and car gas after all of the running around! Can’t wait to go to bed! Beagle has been asleep all evening! Surprise when we got home, our new Burst electric toothbrush! It is amazing! So I am quickly publishing this! I really lean on God to get us through this trial of illness that Denny faces everyday! It leaves him anxious in many areas! Where I need to stay calm! I do know what anxiety feels like and looks like! It can leave you exhausted! Frustrated! I have to, need to stay focused, And keep up with my own agenda! In this fast paced life, I am sure you know what I am saying! So, I wrote these two poems together about a month ago! When I recognize it, I do practice calming techniques! It does really work! Take the time for you! Stay focused and centered! Gods promises are true! Prayer and meditation! I am big on getting proper rest! So, we are off to bed! God bless and get a good nights sleep!😴❤️🤗🤗❤️😴

Good morning everyone! Tuesday morning blog! I am writing outside this morning! What a beautiful day to enjoy!! The colors of everything are so vibrant! Everyday is like seeing it all for the first time! I so appreciated my walk this morning, the air, chirping birds! I never felt trapped in the city! I heard birds there, but I can see them here! What a difference a year makes in how I view things! Precious beauty and color of all life! When we moved back to the country, where I grew up, I couldn’t wait to get to the park to walk! Now, one year later, I can’t wait to get there to see and drink it all in! I can’t walk fast enough, so I have started running a bit, so I can see what’s next, with every step! Then, I can’t wait to share with all of you! I am posting pictures as I am walking! That’s dangerous! Lol!🤗 Gods beauty is a wonderful gift from Him, the Creator of all! I was blind, you have no idea the things I allowed in my life! It grieves me beyond words! But, I am not crying over spilled milk! God is the giver of all! He has changed me in ways I never thought possible! I love every precious thing in my life! My God, my family, my life, and everything I chose or had pushed on me has been a lesson learned! All to God and His plan for my life and where Denny and I are right now! Thank you Jesus! So, with all of the greatness all around me, I wrote this poem when I came home from walking! Enjoy! God bless you and your day! Look for the beauty! It’s right in front of you! I choose Joy and Happiness! Thank you!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday night blog! I know I have said it before, I love music, almost any! I do not care for rapping, unless it is telling a unique story! Opera music stories! Country music stories! Don’t care for heavy metal, unless it’s a love story! But, K-Love is my very favorite station! It reinforces Gods word and love for me and to me every morning! Only station I have on in the car! It calms me, keeps me centered! Especially driving! Helps me think before I open my mouth and say something I will regret! Even to strangers in other cars! I don’t know where they are going or where they are coming from! I know when I spent so much time under stress with all of Denny’s hospital stays, driving home every night, my mind was not always on my driving! But, Gods word on, in the car is very helpful with stress! For me, it works! Now, when I am walking, Music is a whole different story! Something fast, with a good beat, keeps you moving! I’m sure a lot of you feel the same way! Music is filled with memories! Denny and I love DooWop! Soundtracks are great! With the smart phones, I have quite a mixture! This poem is about music, throughout our lives, that can speak to our hearts in many ways! Enjoy! God bless your evening with peace! Goodnight!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday night blog! My sister is my best friend! She is always ready, no matter what you need! Her husband is equally giving! She came over yesterday! Always a nice visit! When she hugged and kissed all three of us bye, I started thinking again how blessed we are here! She would do anything for me! She is a hard worker! Always says yes to parties at their house! She is dedicated to her family! She is not afraid to speak her mind! She is dedicated and committed to her husband and their marriage!! I am blessed and happy to be given such a giving sister! I really appreciate her and love her to pieces! I thank God for you, my baby sister! I love you! Thank God and appreciate your family, time is so fleeting! God bless, have a wonderful evening and Sunday!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning! Friday morning blog! I do not want to sound like a broken record! Most of you have seen my before and after pictures! This poem is about change, I really cannot stress it enough! If you look in the mirror everyday, with pain in your eyes, with questions like, what happened to me? What made you start choosing other things you think are fulfilling, when they are not! Really you are hurting yourself more! I am not judging anyone! Wherever you are in this life, I have been there! Going from one bad choice to another! I did not have a weight problem growing up! But, looking back and seeking help, I can see how distorted my mind and thinking was! Everyone knows, I think, with addiction, it is a way of changing your thinking process! Say you lose 100 lbs. if you do not change your way of thinking about food and your health, that weight will come back! Plus when the weight comes back, 10 or 20 more come along! In all of my very young days , I always thought I was fat! That is not a nice term and not a healthy way to see yourself mentally! We need a mentally healthy way to see ourselves! So, because that is what I thought I saw in the mirror, most of the time I did not eat! Especially at parties or events! I did not want anyone to see me eat! Everything that came my way, was controlled by food, I did not believe I was acceptable the way I was! When I had my babies, I gained 50 lbs. with each one! I lost the weight after each one, but always for the wrong reasons! I did exercise off and on, only to get me to where I thought I looked good! Which was never! Talk about a rat race! Yo-yo dieting is worse on your heart and body! Each new addiction in my life was a reason to let food control who or what I would be attracted to! Distorted way of thinking! I want my mind and body healthy! When my dad passed, the grief was overwhelming! I had so much garbage in all other areas of my life, I turned to food again! I stayed at 234 for almost 5 years! But even with my gastric bypass, my thinking and reasons were all screwed up! I couldn’t sooth myself with food anymore! I liked to gamble, and that spun out of control! Almost destroyed me and everyone and everything I love! In that time frame, I gained back 30 lbs. and kept it on for 3 years! So, forced to take a hard look at my life, I hated me! You are are not good for anyone like that and my husband was already diagnosed with Parkinson’s and was quite ill before that! I knew it was going to take work, change is not easy! I love my family! A sick wife cannot take care of a sick husband! Recovery started in 2015! Therapy, group therapy, walking, medication adjustments, forgiveness of self, forgiveness from God and forgiveness from family, putting God first, journaling! I still have all of the emotions of everything! I just do not stay there! I am not going backwards! I am all about positive change! I talk to myself, I give myself pep talks, positive thinking! I am almost 9 years out and I have 100lbs off! I want my life, the one God has always wanted for me! I am in no way telling any person how to live! But, if you are unhappy with you, you are the only one that can change it! My daughter was very angry with me! Probably the best words ever said to me, from her! Stop talking, your words mean nothing until you take action! It was baby steps, one day at a time! I will never be all the way there until heaven! But, be certain, I will not stop striving! I wasted enough time, crying over spilled milk! I cry, I just don’t stay there! These things are possible! God bless your day! Make it the best one ever!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning, rainy morning! The sun is still there! Wednesday morning blog! Once again, sorry for missing yesterday! In light of our move from Toledo, back to the home I came from, I wrote this poem! It was a year in April since our move! I am sure I posted that on FB, how difficult that was, after 40 years in the same house! Every holiday, every special occasion took place in that house! You can only imagine how much we had in a five bedroom house! Major downsize! My childhood home, back with mom, is only two bedrooms! A lot to part with! But, since I am all about a positive life now, with us facing my husbands illness, it made sense! Quiet and relaxing out here in the country! Safer for both of us! My walk now, is much more beautiful than the city streets! It is possible to let go! That house I loved, was becoming a large price tag of repairs! When it sold, we were thankful! Every single memory made in that house, lives on in every person that took part in making our memories! That will be in my heart forever! I will remember enough for Denny and I! Not one person, anywhere can erase your memories! I have scads of pictures to go with my memories! I can pull them out of an album, I can pull them up on my phone! It’s all there, at my fingertips! No living in the past! No tears over the past! Only tears of Joy for God taking care of us and providing for us! Choose joy, choose happiness, no matter what, I promise, you will see things differently! Life is shorter than you think! It does not have to be death to bring that realization to light! Count your blessings! Every material thing here is temporary! Even our bodies! I am looking for my forever home in heaven, where Denny will be able to dance on his own, on streets of gold! Amen! God bless all of you! Have a fantastic day!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning everyone! Monday morning blog! A very special date indeed, June 3rd, 1943, this day God chose for a baby boy to be born, he was named Dennis Wayne Reed! Happy Birthday to my love! I have always thought and believed, that Birthdays are so very special! It took me 63 years though, to realize how very special we all are to God! Psalm 139:13 says, You formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb! I do believe that makes each one of us very unique and chosen by God! I am not going to go off on the whole abortion business, quite frankly, I have never understood how politics came into play where life is concerned! Remember, these are my beliefs and thoughts! Only God can put a new life into motion and only God is the one to take you from the womb or the world! Period, no more discussing that from me! God knew me before my mom and dad thought of me! I find that to be incredible! So on a birthday, you are celebrating that person with thankfulness! That’s my view anyway! We have, Denny and I, always celebrated our family with a special cake of something they like or pertains to birthdays, gifts, dinner, whether at home or out! Don’t forget balloons, I love balloons! It’s a tradition, I do not want to stop! As we get older, every day of life is special, so birthdays are even more important! If you don’t do it, start a new tradition! Every day we have with Denny, is a blessing and he is to be celebrated every day! I love my sweetheart of 44 years! So tonight is family night with our kids! Wish him a Happy Birthday in your prayers as he faces every day with Parkinson’s! I love you all everywhere! You are special, right where you are, don’t forget that! God bless! Enjoy this beautiful day from God!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good Sunday morning! The Lords day, the day of rest! My Sunday blog! Today a little bit on Kindness! A lot of people think that should come natural, but, it does not! When we are born, from the start, no one teaches a child to bite, slap, share his food or toys!They learn love and giving when we give it to them! They learn from example, manners, praying and being kind! I feel the world is so wrapped up in itself, children are not learning at home! These are just my thoughts! But, if a child never hears please and thank you, is he going to have manners? Maybe! Examples can be picked up other places! 21 Days to form new habits! Things can be reversed, treat people the way you want to be treated! Make deliberate choices in these areas! Smile at everyone! Even the mean looking one! They need it the most! You do not know what they face every morning! Broken people, broken hearts, are all around us! All of the killing and bombings on the other side of the world, that’s what they grew up with, what they are taught! Could they change? I believe so! I believe change can happen, anywhere, at any time! If you want it! Not one person can change another! You have to want it! I know it’s true, I am living it! Gods Grace! Am I always nice? No! Do I want to always be nice? Yes! Mindful choices! Just think about it! To love and be loved, is a wonderful gift, even to the unlovely’s! Have a beautiful Sunday! Remember, the sun is always in the sky! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good Saturday morning everyone! Saturday morning blog! We have been here with mom now for a year! We have ironed out some wrinkles that popped up when three people are suddenly put together! Personalities change over time! Mom and I both like humor and laughing, of course when appropriate! We left the city because violence was getting close! I want peace and comfort for Denny! So, along my poem writing way, I started to think of the city and then the world, so many lives lost from senseless shootings, stabbings, hatred over drugs, relationships, and labeling people because of who they want and choose to love! Why??? God never meant for the world to be this way! People cannot seem to move past pain from, whatever, whenever! When these people are arrested and shown on the news, have you looked in their eyes? There is something missing! I always say when we are sitting here, look at their eyes! You either see pain or a total blank, their numb! Very sad! All I can say is, Jesus come quickly! So, in light of another senseless shooting yesterday, I am sharing my poem on senseless hurting and killing! There just is no excuse for hurting another human, or our fur babies! There is little or no regard for any kind of life! My heart breaks for each person, the family that loses their child to a violent death or the family that is losing the one put away for doing it! Can you recover from that kind of loss! Only with Jesus! God bless your lives, your families and have a beautiful weekend! You are loved!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! True story! Me! I just wrote this! This will be a touchy subject! When I started 1st grade, I was only five! Kindergarten was not mandatory! I was really scared, you all know, of the unknown! Never, would I have believed that two little kids could be so mean! I don’t ever remember them smiling! With all of the bullying we here about these days, now you know it went on in 1957! What an awful way to start school! Because of that year, I did not make friends easily! I always felt like a misfit, not all teachers are caring or tolerant of shy and awkward kids! Not back then! What I am getting at here, no one noticed, not how withdrawn I was, introvert! I am proud to say, I am friends with many from neighborhood and school! I have risen above! I have forgiven those two sad little kids! What happened in their home to make them so angry, everyday! It is really heartbreaking! So, whether you are the bully or the victim, you have a choice and you have a voice! Make sure you tell your children, teachers, you know what it is like in these times! It makes me so sad! To this day, I do not know what happened to that family! Be kind! You don’t know what another person is going through! It is so simple to smile and give a good word! I actually love it! Goodnight, I love all of you, my family and friends! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Sorry I have not kept up my blog! Here is Wednesday blog and poem! I thought this one would be good it’s all of the graduating going on! Some people don’t believe it! But I do! I am a hopeless romantic! I believe love can come and start at any age! This love poem starts when they are 5 and start school! It is not Denny and I, but I know it can happen! Enjoy! God bless! Have a great evening!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! With the Memorial Holiday Weekend, so much to be thankful for! The beauty of life and all of the different colors of everything! Too many to even list! But what I have written here I have seen and the colors are magnificent! With the beauty that I see at the park everyday, everything I see is a gift! Only God could paint like that! Some say God sightings! But, above all, let’s remember the souls of every person that laid down their life for us to enjoy such simple things as the colors of this world! Especially freedom, to enjoy it! I know there are a lot of things in this world that are not beautiful! I pray, I try to see past these things and see all of the blessings! If you look for them, you will find them! Enjoy my poem, envision the colors and appreciate your world and all you have! God bless your weekend! Be safe! Be thankful!🤗❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸❤️🤗

Good morning! Friday morning blog! I know it is not Fathers Day! But, my dad gave a lot for his country! I wrote this poem because I miss him! This is the sadness we felt the day he was taken to the hospital! When you know it’s the end, but you can’t face it! I still feel very sad sometimes when I think of his life! My dad was adopted at a very young age! His real father walked and never came back! His real mother was dying of a disease, with four young children! Two were adopted, two grew up in an orphanage! That alone, is very sad! Dad was drafted into the Army WWII! He was captured, was taken and was a POW for about six months! Germany! My grandmas letter said, Missing In Action! His adopted mom, really loved him and so did his siblings! I cannot imagine their pain! Children do not think of these things! He did later in life meet his two real brothers! What I marvel about at my age is thinking back and seeing what a very giving man he became, after all of that pain! I was 53 when he passed and I did not know what to do with all of that pain! Now 66 and having gone through recovery, I am amazed at how differently I see things! It’s like a new mind, with new eyes! My dad suffered for his country and he came out a giver! I cannot remember a time that I did not have a vacation, every year! I never went without Christmas presents, always had new clothes and new shoes for school and holidays! Always had food! The Zoo, Cedar Point, every summer! My dad loved going places! The grandchildren have those memories too! My life was rich and I did not know it! When I married Denny, I see now he was the same kind of giver! Our children had the same things and he gave his service as a Toledo Police Officer! I can now say with all of my heart, what a wonderful life I have had! You need to move past all of the negative pain, look at the whole picture and what they endured! They might not have said all of the things we like to hear, but love was always there! Now with Denny bing sick, I see the respect our children and grandchildren have for him and my heart swells! Tell them and show them! Look at the big picture! It makes all of the difference in the world! Let’s give thanks to God for all that they gave for our freedom and especially those that did not come home! God bless and enjoy your freedom, it comes with a price! 🇺🇸🤗❤️🤗🇺🇸

Good morning! Wednesday blog! I am sorry I missed a couple of days! Had a busy couple of days, hubby had some skin surgery, it’s a stage 0! That’s great! I had a baking order yesterday! No matter how you look at it, hearing the word cancer, makes one uneasy, then attach it to melanoma! But, he is doing very well! We still need each other, no matter what we face, we will face it together! I don’t mind saying, after Monday was over, I was extremely tired even though I get enough sleep! Mental stresses are far more worse than physical stress! It is for me anyway! This kind of interruption in my day, before I got into recovery, would leave me depressed for a few days and do nothing but sit in the lazy boy! I am done with my day and in bed at 8:00pm, asleep by 8:30pm! Last evening was a little later! I do take a sleeping pill! My mind does not shut off when I get in bed, Plus, I would be worthless without sleep! 3:00am to 9:00am is all mine! Bible and devotions, journaling, walking, baking! Pot of coffee in front of me, K-Love on my phone! Make plans for our day! It’s the best time frame that works for me! I make notes and lists for everything! I make lists about lists! Lol! Sometimes I still forget things! Human! So, start early, and tackle each thing as it comes your way! One day at a time, one thing at a time! I choose JOY to flood my mind and heart! Enjoy today! Choose happiness! Make it wonderful, God bless! Love to all!🤗❤️

Hey there! Saturday evening blog! This whole month has been dedicated to mental health and awareness! I am getting pretty passionate about this, since Denny and I lived through it and came out on the other side! Our relationship bounced in and out of reality! When that kind of pain is going on, you take it out on each other, because you blame the other person for all of your mistakes! Your children suffer, might even blame themselves! Everything they say and do, you take every word personally! So much mental anguish, all you do is lash out, your mind moving in 50 different directions, no sleep on mania days and then the cannot get out of bed days! I am sure our families were torn, not knowing what to do! I had never heard the word bipolar until Denny was diagnosed! I am not airing dirty laundry! This is a very serious issue! Mental illness is terminal, people, especially young’s ones are taking there own lives! Some of you might know the anguish of this kind of pain, my heart goes out to you! In the 50’s these things were not spoken of, things like, it’s a blue day, snap out of it! I myself am guilty of saying such heartless things! But then, you just know when things are not right! Everything is extreme, loud, offensive! Unfortunately we did not want to accept our diagnoses, you cannot jump in and out of medications like that! Praise God and his amazing grace waiting for me to come back! I tried life on my own without God for 17 years! What a mess I made! That is why time is so precious to me! We are only given one life, it is precious, it is a gift from God! I am reluctant to share this, but, some things need to be shared, so some can see that change is possible! Without detail, I attempted twice, one landed me a night in jail, second time a week in psychiatric! I have been in three times! Med adjustments are very important! Denny and I go to a clinic, our two Drs. are excellent! Most important we are stable! I am not ashamed, of Denny or myself, we have sick brains! My heart is so thankful, for many reasons! It is so hard to see someone suffer! So thankful my family loves and forgave us! Thank God tonight for your life, it is precious! Every one of us was put here for a reason! God bless! Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Love and happiness to all of you!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening, Friday evening blog! I am going to talk about love and commitment tonight! No, I am not an expert! It has taken a great deal of time for me to learn these things! I continually thank God for my life and especially my changed life! I did not want that much from recovery, but once it started, I wanted the whole package! Gods ways are so much higher than ours! HE knew what we would be facing! I would not be able to give my Denny the proper care, if I was still a wreck and not able to cope with anything! May 17th, 1975, we became engaged! In 1974, I ran into the back of a car in East Toledo, the night of an explosion at the Sun Oil Refinery! Officer Denny Reed and his partner in the paddy wagon, gave me a ticket! A cab took me to work! Sometime in early 1975, I went to work at Dunkin Donuts! I was recognized, the rest is history! 44 years ago today, we became engaged! We married in 1977! I have shared before, our marriage and relationship, how rocky our lives were! We are both bipolar and undiagnosed! Add addiction from both of us! We were toxic! Way off decision making! But, our love and commitment is the winner! He has Parkinson’s, I prefer to be called anything but caregiver! He is my husband! We have forgiven each other, a lot! I love him, taking care of him is a tall order! God gives me all I need to handle it all! I look past the Parkinson’s and I still see my man and I count it a privilege to take care of his every need! Thank you God, Denny and our children for my wellness! Denny and I will dance in heaven! God bless all of you! Take care of what you have! Denny and I can both sadly say, the grass is not greener! Love to all!❤️🤗🤗❤️This poem sums up us!

Wednesday blog! Good afternoon! Over the past four years, I have learned more than ever how little time there is! I tell everyone, do it now, don’t take things for granted! So easy to get swept away by life and all it gives us, good or different! I am a believer, I believe His grace and forgiveness are for me! Even if there was only me! How special is that? These two poems reflect that for me! Of course there will never be enough words to praise Him, but He shows us, extends to us everyday, His perfect plan for us! I love Jesus, more importantly, He loves me! God bless your day! Appreciate every breath you take! Thanks for listening!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Hey there everyone! This is a trip we talked about a lot! In a car! The Cabin is about our real trips, up North on the lake! Nineteen years we went! Even after the kids were grown! They came with their families a couple times! That’s why I always say, if you want it, do it! You never know! No pity, just something we wanted and did not take the time to do! I love thinking of travel! We did get to Vegas four times, we did see the Grand Canyon! Those were flying trips! When I see all of the vacations you all take, I am so happy for all of you and my mind starts! Same thing with books, I’m there! We have wonderful memories of vacations! Now, little mini trips! Take time! God bless! Love to all!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning! Mothers Day and Monday morning blog! I wrote this poem this morning in appreciation of my children! I love and appreciate them so much! And then the extensions of them! As the family grows, so does the heart! Sometimes I feel as though mine will burst! To love and be loved, what a gift! As far back as I can remember, all I ever wanted was to be a mom and a housewife! I am a product of the 50’s and that is what I grew up with! I wanted four! I was pregnant four times, two did not make it! One at 4 months, one at 4 weeks! Some people think that’s not a painful thing, but it is, in many ways! So I met Denny, we blended our family, had our daughter, I still get four! Gods ways are higher than ours! I am so proud of them! And of course, I am blessed to still have my mom and have the privilege to live in her home! I am blessed so many different ways! I hope you all had a blessed day also! I got to see three out of four! My heart is full, look for the blessings everyday! They are right in front of us! God bless! Have a wonderful day!❤️🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! Mother’s Day! I wrote this poem for my mom, last Mother’s Day, 2019 and yet, for all moms! They simply are our angels! I don’t care how or what your story is or how it came about! The only way you got here was with a mom! So, whether she raised you or someone else raised you or even if you never saw a mom in any capacity what so ever! You still got here by God placing you in her womb! Give thanks for your life! If you do not love your life, you have to change it! She cannot do it for you! I was 63, before I learned that! Yes, that is sad! Do not blame your mom for whatever circumstance you are in! My father was given up along with his 3 siblings! Sad! Their father walked away, their mother was dying! As a child, I did not think much of it! Now at my age, it is a heartbreaking story! My dad was adopted, he had another mom! I do not know what my dad did with all of that pain! I do know that he loved my mom and gave unconditionally until his passing! Because of his choices, my mom was able to care for us, my sister and I have had a blessed life, my mom and sister would say the same thing! I did not get to know my blood grandma, but I thank her, for my Dad! My Denny was not raised by his mother! But, he loved her, he forgave her, he loved his stepmom! Another story! Sounds like a Father’s Day stories, to be continued! My point is, be thankful! No matter how life has turned out, your here because a woman loved you and gave birth to you! If there is a mom you are estranged from or if you are angry with your mom now, or who has already passed, I urge you to forgive! Make peace in your heart! It’s the only way to set yourself free! I am not a scholar, I am not an expert! I am a human, with a heart, mind, body and soul! I can say these things, because I know the pain of these things! A lot of the pain of these things, I caused myself! So, forgiving self comes into the picture also! You only have one life, stop wasting it! I am so thankful when my feet hit the floor every morning! That’s it, thankful, grateful! I truly love all of you! Live peacefully! God bless all of you and especially your moms! Without them, I would not know the pleasure of knowing you! I wrote this last Mother’s Day! The blog and the poem! I had a great Mother’s Day today! A little different this year! Our main concern is keeping everyone safe, especially our littlest one Lucas! I love them all and miss them! Enjoy my family collage!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! I love Roy Orbison and his haunting music! Just about everyone of his songs tells a story! He has two songs about dreams! I wrote this today! It’s not that Denny and I danced a lot, but you know when you can’t have something anymore, you wish you could! You want it more! I feel that way about dancing! Growing up, I cannot count how many square dances I was at with my cousins! Ohhhhh, the fun we had! Mom and I we love to dance! Any given song, has us hopping! I know in heaven with no walker, we will be dancing! It will be never ending joy, in each other’s arms forever! Sounds wonderful to me! When I see dancing on TV, I think of us! This disease is robbing him and us together of many things! I do not focus on what we cannot do, it’s just things I think about and we talk about! So, if there is something you want to do, don’t put if off, it might not ever come! Get a good nights sleep! 😴Love to all!❤️Thanks for listening!🕺🏻❤️💃🏼

Good evening! Tuesday’s blog! This first poem is about when I got the news, I was going to be a grandma! It’s pretty self explanatory how I felt! And in light of getting back to walking, my poem about being up early and walking! I go right to a different world! And being a grandma! There really are no words to describe it! I soooo love having all of this in my life! Next generation babies and nature! How blessed I am! Dear God, thank you for every blessing, big or small! All from You to me! Bedtime! God bless your night! Grab and appreciate everything!❤️🤗🤗❤️

It has been one of those busy days! Starting early with bloodwork! On the phone way to many times with Drs. offices! The men started moms new metal roof today, all of that noise , traumatizing Beagle! It’s our bedtime, their still on the roof! Yikes! Other than that, what a beautiful day! God bless! Have a great night!❤️😴😴❤️Two poems tomorrow!🤗❤️❤️

I don’t have to tell any of you how fast time is moving! I can’t believe we have been here a year already! It’s already May, our granddaughter will have her 1st. Anniversary soon! In all of this, I am only talking about me! I wasted precious time that I will never get back! My mind has been in some very dark places! I am so thankful for Drs. medication, especially the right meds, therapy and group therapy! These things for me saved my life and my relationships! My heart is swollen everyday with love and beautiful thoughts of everything and everyone! I still make mistakes, I open my mouth when I shouldn’t, I get frustrated! And so on! I do not let any of these negatives stay around too long! I have to much on my plate, to get stuck in any mud! I am thankful for my life, and endless possibilities! I give myself permission to forgive myself if I mess something up! Not a tragedy if I have to start over! The best one I have learned, it’s OK, if I’m not OK! My heart mind and soul are all on the same page! God is good and last but not least, Gods Grace is sufficient for me, even me! God bless and have a great week!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good morning, so sorry, I missed yesterday! Saturday’s blog! The past two weekends I have had cupcake orders! Staying busy! How are you with music? I truly mean it when I say music can take me anywhere! I love any kind of music! Gospel and Contemporary Christian top my list, thinking of the here after! Who doesn’t love 40’s and 50’s, with the Jitterbug and Swing! Then the 60’s, Twisting and screaming! My goodness, it still blows my mind! When I hear any song from any era of my life, including Holiday music, I will play it over and over, sometimes I’m even crying! Music has such feeling, stirs the soul, so haunting, with memories attached! I can’t get enough! Even Denny in the car, if I tune in his era, he starts singing! I love that! Music, such a part of our culture! You have to listen to the words as they speak to your heart! Think about it! Music can stir many emotions! God bless your weekend! Take time for your loved ones and music! Thank you!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening, tonight’s blog! I really do read everyone’s posts! My heart breaks for all of you that have lost their pets! I know it’s not just doggies, losing any pet is devastating! My Beagle is a rescue, we have only had her 2 years! I cannot imagine not having her! I love her so much! My heart still breaking over Lucy, my cousins doggie! Just love on our furry babies! We need them and they really need love, especially rescues! Have a great night! God bless!❤️🐕🐈🐩❤️

This evenings blog! If you don’t know by now, I am a hopeless romantic! I’m in love with love, I love the word love, I love the meaning of love! Everything that is associated with it too! Chick flicks, chocolates, roses, my favorite, red ones, gold, diamonds, candlelight! You get the picture! Our son was born on Valentines Day! It is my favorite secular holiday! This is a fantasy of Denny and I! Days I wish we still had! But we did have beautiful vacations, that Denny always surprised me with! A lot of them were places with beaches! I reflect on those times a lot! My point is, life is showing me, even though all of those things are lovely and wonderful, when you deal with illness everyday, none of that matters! I love my memories! Not at all am I feeling sorry for myself nor do I hurt Denny with such talk! But, I am truly learning what commitment is all about! I love this man so much! The sacrifices he made for his family! I could go on and on! So wrapping it up, appreciate the one you are with, go out on dates! None of us knows what tomorrow will bring! I am so thankful and I give God the glory for healing our marriage! I could easily live in regret, what good would that do! I press on! I want his days to be peaceful and positive and comfortable! I lean on God heavily and the strength He gives me to face each day! Let your mind wander as you read my fantasy! Goodnight, God bless! Make everyday count!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Tonight’s blog, hey there everyone! We have had one of those days! Not a bad one, but a different one! I have quite a few new friends on Social Media! Not every one knows about my struggles with gambling! We use to go different places, I called them getaways! Just for fun! Then Denny started to get sick, had that long hospital stay! I went completely off the rails! And I didn’t want to stop, my getaway, something for me! Family confronted me, it was getting worse! I did not who I was or what I was becoming! Took over my whole life! Little by little my family was slipping through my fingers! That’s very painful! My hubby was getting sicker, but, so was I! SoI went to an addiction center downtown! Then I started group, that I absolutely love! Words do no good, actions had to be loud and clear! So, I have an addictive personality, my whole well being had to be cleaned out! When I think about her and the overwhelming sadness all the time and living in denial! I am not perfect and God wants me anyway! I love seeing everything differently, in a whole new light! Recovery is amazing and so is my forgiving family! When I was ready, they all supported me! Forgiving myself was my biggest hurdle! January 3rd of this year was 3 years clean! I am loving life even in our trials! So I wrote these two poems yesterday for me! Now I will share them with you! God bless your evening !🤗❤️🤗

Today’s blog! Let me say first, I am sorry for no blog post or poem yesterday! My intention was to write all day! I opted out of church, in light of the weather! Of course when the sun came out, I felt guilty that I did not trust the Lord! But, the Lord has His ways! A big surprise came at 11:15am, right when we would have been in church! Our Kathy pulled in the driveway, not knowing, I thought something was wrong! I went to the door, and our Sue, from South Carolina, jumped out of the car! Surprised was an understatement! They drove all night with a U-haul for a specific reason! Surprise! So, we had a great visit, made her dad very happy! Later on we went to Kathy’s to spend more time! We even went to bed one hour late! So, with memory lane in the conversation, I chose this poem for today! Precious Time! How fast it goes! Please join me with a glimpse of our past, of 40 years on Butler St. God bless your day, your family and your precious memories! Have a fantastic day!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Saturday evening blog! I think by now most of you know that we have lived with this Disease everyday since 2014! I will say upfront, this poem and post are not a pity party! We are humans, we all struggle! We do not have bad days, we have different days! It makes me sad, that we did not appreciate each other along the way! I think a lot about our past! I just don’t stay there! After a good cry, my happiness and joy are still with me! With his therapy finishing yesterday, we have to keep his BIG movements going, to fight this thing! It is not a nice disease, our main goal is to keep him moving, talking, and, to stay out of that wheelchair! It is painful! We all have these emotions, let them visit, not stay! I do take one day at a time and tackle things, one at a time! I don’t look at tomorrow until tomorrow! Parkinson’s is teaching me, love beyond measure, patience, kindness, empathy and compassion! I love Denny so, so much! I wish I could take it away, but I am also learning, that taking care of the caregiver is really important! Wrap your arms around your family! Have a fantastic weekend! God bless!🤗❤️🤗🐶❤️

Good morning FB family and friends! Today’s blog is a reminder of things past for us! For the rest of you, don’t let anything get in the way of your love for each other! Take special time out! It could be gone in a minute, mine and Denny’s did! In the blink of an eye you might have a big change! Have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend! Don’t look at the weather, only each other!🤗❤️🥰 ❤️

Good morning FB family and friends! My Thursday blog! I have not kept a lot of my past issues a secret! Who knows where I would be if my addictions had not been pointed out to me! But, even after that, you, yourself have got to figure it out and, you, yourself have to want help and change! You have to face your demons! I have many! I love sharing, especially if I can help someone! I am so thankful that things were brought into the light! To help me see clearly! I will say it again, recovery is amazing! Facing our demons is painful and lastly, cleaning out old wounds, even more painful! God bless you in whatever you face! Have a fantastic day!🤗❤️

A poem of hope in a broken world!🌎💔 I choose optimism, happiness, joy! They are a choice! I use to blame everyone for not giving me these things! Sad, I know! Thankful that I’m figuring it out! God bless!❤️Get a good nights rest!😴❤️

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Continue reading “Unplanned Events”

Good morning! To start your day! More family memories, I wrote this poem last week also! After I wrote Forever Family! Many, many of my memories are with my moms parents! Grandpa and Grandma Knitz! Wonderful Grandparents! Of course Christmas was always at their house and yes, a lot of those picnics, and the start of cousins galore! They all are like my brothers and sisters! There is a deep bond between us! We had the prime ledge of vacationing with them every summer! Our last vacation with both was the summer of 1962, Grandma was ill on that vacation! Liver cancer, she was gone! I was only 10! I never realized then, how young my mom was, to lose her mom! Only 29! I am so blessed to still have her! So family shifted to my moms on sisters house! Well into are adult years as second cousins arrived! So as families grow traditions also shift! All of that are some of my favorite memories! With the new age of Social media, I am connected with many of my cousins , their children, grandchildren and down the line! 4th and 5th generations! I don’t know if many can say that! I believe it’s a gift! I love my cousins!! All still alive on the Knitz side! Can you see the times together in my story! A much simpler time! I would not trade for anything! Even though I have wrestled with my demons all of these years, I still know I can count on family! Always hugs and kisses! We don’t turn our back on each other! I’m pretty sure my children have that same bond with theirs! Good times and memories always out weigh the bad, if you make a list of pros and cons! I choose to look past faults, we all have them! I choose to love and forgive , not what we do or how we act! We can all be pretty unlovely sometimes! I have the gifts of forgiveness from God, family and friends! God bless all of you as you start another week! Whatever memories you made this weekend, cherish them! I love all of you! Have a wonderful day, make a memory!

Hey there FB family and friends! Easter evening blog! A little reflection of our day from my point of view! I just wrote this poem last week after we spent the day with Denny’s brothers and two of his cousins! In case you have not figured it out yet, family is very important! Mine is exceptional! Believe me when I say without going through details, being bipolar, I put my family through hell and back! I cannot tell you enough how important your family is! How much forgiveness means to me from mine! I do have a wonderful family! I will not cry over spilled milk! I will grow and become stronger! I pray I can be an example in some way for my kids and grandkids and maybe someone else! I am finally learning to open my heart and mind to things going on around me! I need to listen with more than my ears! God has changed me so much in the past few years! I cannot praise HIM and thank HIM enough for his plan of GRACE for a sinner like me! I have so much on my plate, with all that’s going on in our life, but, I have found peace that passes all understanding, no matter what we face! My family is here for us! Only a call away, or a FaceTime away or a text away! I never have to be afraid to call any of them! I have learned to take advice about things and not be offended! My memories way back to childhood are times engraved on my heart! The older you get, the more important! Continue to take care of you, but, take care of your family! Sometimes they are all you have! Mine are all I need, Jesus at the top of the list! I, sooo hope you made memories today! My love to all of you! Thank you for letting me share!❤️

Good morning FB family and friends! With seeing the pain that young people are in today, they need to know they are not alone! This is a poem, I can see myself in, when I was young and did not know I had some serious issues! I always felt there was no one to turn to! It has taken me a long time to figure these things out! I have bounced through this life like a rubber ball! Not quite making it anywhere! The poem today is about that! Pain so great, mentally and physically hurting yourself everyday! Not one person can I recall ever talking about such things! Back in the 50’s and 60’s, just labeled you crazy! Soooooo not true! If anyone sees themselves in any of my poems, there is help, ask someone, call someone, parents, teachers counselors, ministers, crisis centers! Do not suffer alone! I thank God for my life! For not giving up! You are amazing! Do not let anyone tell you, that you are not! One thing I have learned recently, it’s ok, to not be ok! Just don’t stay there! Everything takes time! You are worth it! I have sooo learned not to sit in judgement of anyone! When I look in the mirror, I know more everyday, I am not the person who made all of those life altering mistakes! When I think of the old me, I don’t even recognize her and who she was! Give yourself a big hug, forgive yourself, you are worth it, God says so! I believe it now, I am worth it, I love me! Have an amazing day! I love you! God bless!

Good morning FB family and friends! My newest poem, being bipolar! It can give life a very rocky road! Getting stable and healing with recovery, the best things that I have done for myself! I can see clearly now! I am at peace! God is my center! I have found a healing therapy in Poetry, journaling, letters to myself and letters to family that has passed! If something is bubbling inside you, it’s needs to be addressed! It will eventually explode! It has to be cleaned, from the inside out! Only you can work on you! Lots of help and tools out there! Choose joy and happiness! It is possible, even with the hard stuff! God bless you and give you a fantastic day, even in the rain!❤️☔️❤️

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