Marilyn’s Heart

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Today is the anniversary of my fathers passing! It is still painful! I was not mentally well when he passed! I certainly was not prepared for the grief it brought with it! I did not know what wonderful things I had with my father, or the sacrifices he made for his family until he was gone! I was suppose to be a Christian! I had accepted Christ quite awhile back! Old wounds don’t heal unless they are cleaned out! Healing starts on the inside! My pain ran deep! My dad passed 1/14/2005! I turned to food for comfort! Over a 5 year period I packed on 75 lbs! One day I woke up and I was 234! I am short! My weight and eating habits were all done out of pain! I took care of the weight with a gastric bypass, but I did not clean out my wounds! I looked in the mirror everyday, I did not know her! But, I knew I hated her! She made herself miserable with all kinds of excuses! When I couldn’t have food anymore, I moved onto gambling! Most of you know my story! I finally got proper help! Addictive personality! Had I not got help starting with my weight, I was convinced my life was over just sitting in a lazy boy chair everyday! Not the life I thought about as a child! Now after therapy, everything has a brand new light shining on all things! My whole world opened in brand new ways! I saw my dads pain in a whole new light! I learned there are two ways to look at and take care of everything that has ever touched my life and yours! You have to want it and put in the work! Healing did not fall in my lap! I would never be able to get through any of that healing without my Lord, Jesus! He gets all of the glory, always! I do know now and believe, that God took special care of me, so I could take special care of Denny! All things work together for good! Gods words for us! Believe it! Joy and happiness are two choices I make every morning! They are choices! Anyone can choose them! When I get up, I look in the mirror, I say, good morning Lord, what wonderful plans do you have for me today! God says, my plan for you is still sleeping in the other room! God and I take care of Denny! I rest in both of them! God first! Thank you Jesus! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening from WordPress! Monday blog! I am just going to share the FB post, for my story tonight! I am tired! So thankful tonight! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! Did anyone not see this movie? I don’t know of to many that couldn’t relate in one way or another, to pain, that perhaps you have been through, to pain you think about and how painful it would be! Then the thought of losing a love like that! I wish I had started a Notebook! I have a lot written down, not a book full! To refresh, she did not know or remember their life! There were moments of clarity, but fleeting! With more pain each time! The husband did not care, that she could not remember! He remembered! What a love story! Denny and I are not near that! I know it is possible! In my mind, I like to think that, I could go with the flow! Just the thought, rips me apart! God is the only route for Denny and I! The human side, I am ripped apart everyday! Then my life with Jesus side, that is always with me! Carries me through another day! I can only praise God for that kind of strength! I said before, I have enough memory to remember for us both! I talk about us when we are alone! He still remembers many things! Unfortunately, Dementia with Parkinson’s, and Alzheimer’s are all to familiar, to so many families! I love this story! I love the old song to this story! I loved this song, long before the movie! It’s beautiful! Everywhere I look, everything I see! I will always see Denny, in one way or another! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! I am sure that us older folks know all about love letters! I am sure the young of today have not sat to write a lot, let alone a love letter! I am a hopeless romantic! I am so sappy and I don’t care! The mushier the better! I have written love letters! On paper with pen, word after word that all had such meaning! After Denny gave me that accident ticket and then met at Dunkin Donuts! It all still stirs my heart! I think our story is so beautiful! I wrote Denny more than one love letter! It’s easy to love when flowers come to you! Your heart sings when you watch each other open that special gift! Nobody ever tells of the hard stuff! You should not be ashamed! Life hits us all in one way or another! Can your love, the one that makes you dizzy, puts butterflies in your stomach and stars in your eyes! Can you still stay strong when things start to change and know one saw it coming! We love each other with big red hearts! What is the real test of love? The kind that started to change, when mental illness struck us both at different times! I didn’t know about these things! I only knew a lot of things were happening that did not look like love anymore! Deep down inside us when we thought we didn’t like each other anymore! Why would we stay and keep hurting each other, hospital stays, trying to get the right combos of medication! When your heart keeps saying, we will never find it again! Don’t give up! What you saw in each other when you have hearts jumping out of your eyes! It’s still there! It will resurface in ways you never thought you could find again! When you grab each other and look in the eyes of pain, you say, you are so worth it! Denny and I signed on for the long haul! We have had to overcome much! When God stepped in and we started looking at ourselves, learning from mistakes, heartbreaking mistakes, things you think you can’t ever forgive! God has loved Denny and I through some really ugly stuff! Jesus is the doctor of broken hearts and souls! When He comes and puts you back together, piece by piece, forgiveness from Him will mend you to forgive each other! Just when you are putting things in the right order, illness comes again! I only see Denny Reed, a shy boy who worked harder, and gave more than anyone I have ever known, besides my father! Now in Denny’s biggest fight till Jesus comes, I pray he sees my love for him while I care for him! When I know God has me! I have always wanted love to gaze into my eyes and now on Gods timetable, Denny just keeps searching my eyes! Denny is my cop and I will forever be his waitress! Learn how to forgive as God forgives! From my heart! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! I think I might have used this before! So, in light of Denny and I, our situation with his health, I feel it needs mentioning! At our age, our kids are grown, mine anyway! Now our grandkids are grown! I know I am not the only one that feels that way! There are countless songs, movies and books on this! I feel it deep within me! You think you have all the time in the world! You don’t! God might give you one more breath, this very minute! After all, He is God! What we are going through, is all part of Gods plan! When plans were left for Denny and I, what a mess! So thankful for our God, who sees past all of our worst moments and still loves us and forgives us! God is good! Time is passing so fast and I would say a lot of people don’t get it yet! You know the old saying, do not put off till tomorrow, what you can do today! It’s so true! If I could turn back the clock! When we say fall back, in the Fall, many say great an extra hour of sleep! I say it’s the closest we will get to a do over! An extra hour, to say, I love you more, to do something nice and kind, to ask what can I do for you today? I love to think on those good things! Happiness is chosen by us! When your spouses, children, any number of people say unkind things, approach it with love, handle things with love! You have no idea what they are carrying around!Your day will end so much better if you act on kindness to everyone! Not one person on this earth is worth more than the one standing beside you!Everyone is so kind and concerned about Denny and I! Thank you! You are all like angels, touching our hearts with every word and prayer! Denny is catching up on sleep, all night, all day! Our son was with me most of the day, just swapping stories about our lives and how fast it has gone! I can’t say I love you enough to our kids, grandkids and of course my Denny! I just keep whispering in his ear! When I hear it back, it’s like a prayer, soothing my soul! God put those promises out there for good reason! Love and kindness! Even the ones you don’t like and don’t understand! It will come back to you, in a beautiful way! Choose joy and happiness! Remember, Gods timing is everything! Stop blinking! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! For every one day thats good for Denny and I, there are too many different ones that follow! Today was such a day! Keeping a long story short! Denny and I had a rough night! His day today was even worse! Hospice came, I could not get anything through his tube and it sprung a leak! He was declining right in front of me! He developed a fever, never good for him! Hospice came back, fever climbing! Rescue came! Pneumonia again! Long ER! I have been up since 2:00am, just got home at 10:00pm! Cannot wait to fall asleep! God is still good! My request is to please keep praying for Denny, for peace and comfort! Prayers for my physical strength to stay strong! I love you Lord Jesus! Please carry us! Good night! God bless!❤️🙏🏻🤗🙏🏻🤗🙏🏻❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! Being a caregiver to my husband has become a tall order! Not a complaint! Denny and I promised each other a long time ago, we would do everything we could to take care of each other! Whoever would be the first to go! We wanted to die in that old house on Butler St. You see, God had different plans! I tell Denny all the time he is the best! So living with mom my plan for dying at home has not changed! Denny said tonight, put me on the floor, so they can come and get me! Who are you talking about? He said this is too much for you, I am a burden! I said, this was my choice! No one is making me do anything! This won’t last forever, I want him to remember how much he means to us! How much I love him! I wish I could cradle him in my arms and make everything stop and go away! Denny, has been in and out of hospitals and rehabs since August 2013! Taking care of him is a gift to me! I do not want it any other way! I have a helper, an aid from hospice that comes 3 times a week! He is very caring with Denny! Everyone talks of caregivers, how about the patient? I see how hard it is on Denny’s face, when I walk away! I just keep reassuring him! I lean on God now in a whole different way! I ask myself, how would Jesus take care of Denny? The same way he takes care of all of His children! Tender, loving care! His Amazing Grace! All Is Well With My Soul! Two of my favorite songs! I sing them in Denny’s ear! Peace like a river! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! The first time I heard it or saw it, I thought wow! It’s a good day, to have a good day! What a catchy phrase, with so much meaning! Our daughter painted it for me, with a sunflower! Does any one get out of bed and say, it’s a bad day to have a bad day! Depressing! Or, I just want to feel lousy and hateful! Now, we know there are people running around like that, but I don’t think they chose it! You can’t go wrong telling yourself that! I like to add, God is good! Today was a good day for Denny! He was more alert and stayed awake quite awhile! We got to talk a bit! He even looked perky! Savor the moments! I have to talk to myself as soon as I wake up! That way I am in a good mood before my feet hit the floor! Try it! You don’t have to tell anyone! Lol! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! Most days I feel like I am running on empty! I know it is not true! All I have to do is ask and it is given! Through Gods word! Whatever you are facing or going through right this minute, God fills your tank and of course mine! I have been on the turn your back side away from God! Running away from every storm! Now, I am running into the storms! It is the only way to survive! I keep all of my gear near me! Bible, journal, iPad, iPhone, devotional! I carry them all through the house! Whatever room I am spending the most time in, that’s where I feed my mind, heart and soul! Giving myself my own revival, So to speak! I will rise above and come out on the other side stronger! Why would I want it any other way! We all know when we marry, one will say goodbye first! It’s the order of God, the world and eternity! All of this pain is why Jesus came, through His Father! The Trinity, an amazing plan that was put together to save mankind! Like me! The beauty of it all! Open your eyes, God will not force it, it’s our free choice! I am overwhelmed still over his plan of forgiveness for us! Think about it! Just have to ask! Thank you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! I will die to self everyday as I read your word! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! I am so tired tonight! I thought I would post again some of my favorite scriptures! The ones I really cling to! Ecclesiastes 3:1-8! One of my go to’s! And, I absolutely love this picture of Denny! So handsome, in so many ways! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! Sometimes the day is overwhelming! Sometimes I can’t think or get past the idea of going through this! My heart continually plays tug of war with my feelings, my emotions, my very life and how it truly has changed for the better! All things work together for good! Why? Because God is good! I will not give up! I will keep doing all I can for him, until our journey is complete! In all of this emotional pain, I have learned not to ask why! Instead, I ask, why not! James speaks clearly on trials and suffering in his book! Joy and happiness cannot be taken from me! Nor, can I give it away! It is not for me to question or know Gods plans for me! I am called by God and His promises to Denny and I, to be still and trust and obey! God created this whole world, He can certainly take care of Denny and I! So it is my human flesh that cry’s out everyday, when tears don’t stop and I never feel relief from crying! I will wait upon the Lord, my Lord! I am tired all day, but, I will not grow weary! God has me! I will run this race to completion! I sit here every night typing, always glancing his way! I can’t imagine not seeing his face every day! I will thank my God for every remembrance of you! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! From the time Denny got sick, before he needed a walker, I wanted to make as many memories as we could! Our son and daughter in law gave us Zoo passes for a year, 2 years in a row! For Christmas! We went as many times as we could! Taking grandkids as much as we could! We went to Noon Years Eve at the Zoo 2 years in a row! So much fun, screaming and laughing going down the ice slide! We took the kids to the cafe that still has cage bars! It was expensive, but worth it! I can still see them sitting there! The train, the merry go round! You have to be like a kid when you are there! Most all of our memories were on Butler St. With the grandkids staying everyday, weekend overnighters! Cookies, ginger bread houses, pizza lunch by the pool! Every holiday meal, watching the family get larger and larger! Many birthdays around our table! Our last Christmas on Butler, we had started using the wheelchair a bit! Seems long ago, but yet like yesterday! Our 4 youngest ones are already teenagers thinking about driving! If I could make time stand still, I would take Denny back to the cabin in Canada! No work, only time with us! Picnics on islands! Not a care in the world there! We certainly did not think of getting older or an ugly disease taking us down! Our good memories truly out way the not so good things we went through! I have to many times tried to take on this life in my own strength! How did that work out, Marilyn? Not so good! God is in charge! All things are beautiful in His time, not mine! The meter is still running in my memory bank! God willing! Remember, I have a brand new great grandson waiting for me! I will tell him of his wonderful great grandpa! The picture was one evening at the Zoo! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! My faith is being tested everyday! I found the music today that we listened to at the end of the day, when there were not enough hours to see each other! When your tired and you just want to talk a bit before sleep! I always loved Giovanni, Nocturnes! It’s just beautiful! After talking a bit, we would go right to sleep! It’s a very moving piece! Why do we torture ourselves! I have cried off and on all day! I did have a treat! I had my nails done tonight! I have only ever wore red, Denny’s favorite! Sometimes French, but red for him! There are no conversations anymore! He answers us, he repeats! Most importantly, he still says I love you! Our daughter stayed, so I could go! He had his Norte Dame hat on! He slept all day, we had a rough night! Lack of sleep does not help! He fell asleep with it in his hand! Just can’t get past tears tonight! Denny continues to hold his own! Vitals are still stable! It’s very hard to see him like this, when he was a man on the move constantly! I know God is watching, holding us, while my heart keeps splitting in half! Continued prayers please for peace and comfort! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! Happy New Year! Do not start your new year setting yourself up for failure! Some people set such high expectations for themselves! In reality, we do not know what tomorrow holds for us! We are not promised any extra days! Each day is a gift from God! If you want something changed in your life, set a plan in motion for yourself! Know one is going to do it for you! That’s the great part of change, you get the credit, God gives the strength! It’s quite a journey! I know, because my journey started in 2014 with Denny’s diagnosis of Parkinson’s! Walking around whining all the time, like God owed me something! I told my family repeatedly that I would stop gambling! My family soon tired of my lip service with no work on change! I became sick and tired, of being, sick and tired! Since 2014, I started journaling, I am on #7, I am diligent about my time with God! I start early! I banned myself from all casinos, a lifetime ban! I started walking in 2015, I still walk, when time permits! I started a recovery program, with group therapy, with people of all addictions! Sadly we lost 2 from that group to drugs! I have every intention of going back, when the time comes! Jan. 3rd, I will be at 4 years clean! I returned to all of the things I love, my positive go to’s! Baking, sewing, scrapbooking and walking! An old passion I want to return to, is a sports grandma! Of course none of these things would have happened without God! He is my main focus! He taught me, one day at a time! So, pick a passion, or work on changing what you don’t like! Do it all with joy and happiness! These are all choices! You can smile or frown, it’s up to you! Through all of this, I now see and know, God was preparing me to become strong enough, mentally and physically, to take care of my husband, Denny! This January, start with celebrating you and how much God loves you, right where you are! Amen! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Well, are you home? Are you out? Movies, dinners, cocktails, playing cards, gambling! Any number of things you can choose from! Now, we preferred to stay home with the kids, then when grandkids came, of course we want them to stay! What better way to ring in a new year! Most of them grown now! So I started making it special just for Denny and I! We always fell asleep and missed the ball! I am so happy I did that for us! Often we sat at a beautifully dressed table with candlelight! Even for breakfast, when I would make his favorites! It’s been hard, with him not being able to eat! I don’t mean that in a bad way! Most things are celebrated with food! I love are memories! I will savor them the rest of our life! Whatever you are doing, do it safely! The past couple of years we have started the year with hospitals, tests and rehab! This year has certainly had its challenges! We are certainly being tested! Not many people think about what caregiving is until you are in the middle of it, including me! I just want to be right beside him till the end comes! I kiss him and tell him I love him forever! I will get through this, it won’t be easy! With God, all things are possible! In His time, everything is made precious in His sight! One day at a time! He called out his love name for me today, hey Tootsie! That’s a good laugh, right? Good night! God bless! Happy New Year!❤️🤗🎉🎉🎉❤️🎉🎉🎉🤗❤️The picture of us tonight is 2016!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Good evening! Monday blog! I am at a loss for words tonight! A family that we know, lost a child over the weekend! Even when our hearts are breaking for our own circumstances, that’s when you focus on others and the pain they are in! There is great peace when you focus on others! I am not the only one in the world hurting! Even in our own pain, pray for others! Pray without ceasing! I fall asleep in prayer and I wake to prayer! It’s our strongest tool! People are hurting all around us! Even Christian people! I have been there! My heart goes out to all that are hurting from circumstances and consequences! Here are a couple of things on prayer! God is still God and He is good! Take it to the Lord in prayer! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! Everyone has one, right? That one dreamy place that you keep hearing about! People that have been there! Game shows give this trip away! You get so serious about it, you start googling! Pictures of beaches, hotels, food, prices! Ours was Aruba! When the dust would finally settle on Denny’s work schedule! That’s when we were going to do it! At least, start planning it! Every time I see it on TV, as a gift on a show, I scream, that’s our trip! The colors there are so vibrant! I’m not that crazy about flying, but, I would have! The great tans we would come home with! Souvenirs for everyone! That’s part of vacation fun! Probably would have gained a couple of pounds! Feet in the ocean, long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners! See the rising and setting of the sun! What a gift that would have been for us to give each other! I am not jealous when I hear of exotic places like that, I am happy for you, if you were blessed enough to travel like that! Take the time, to plan, save, do and enjoy! I hope I painted a pretty picture for you! Don’t keep saying later, when I save the money, when the kids are grown, we have time! No you don’t! I sit or lay here next to Denny most of the time! I watch and hear him breath! It never sounds the same! His eyes are so red and glassy! It breaks my heart every minute of every day, to see again and again what this disease has taken from him, from us! In my humanness, I want to scream, it’s not fair! My policeman, my umpire, my bowler! My heart and soul screams, please don’t let him suffer! And then you think of the peaceful shores of eternity! Every thing I just mentioned will be there! What we will see will go on forever, a never ending beach, water! All things beautiful in His time! Denny will be released from his crippling body to soar like an eagle! What a day of rejoicing that will be! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🎉🤗❤️Happy New Year!🤗🎉🎉🎉🤗

Good evening! Saturday blog! One of the things I miss and will always miss, our dating! How many times he surprised me for Birthdays, always had a cake made special, Anniversaries, Mother’s Day from the kids and many times just jumped in the car at 10:00 at night! I don’t recommend that! We were crazy! Let me highlight a few! First date was the drive-in! We loved going to the movies! Always surprised me with a hotel room, 2 movies, dinner and breakfast the next day! Our first family vacation was a surprise, up to Canada, to the cabin, 19 times! We went a few times, just Denny and I! I’ll never forget how he looked in the boat! 4 trips to Las Vegas, when we were gamblers! 25th wedding Anniversary trip to Mt. Pleasant, Mi. One vacation was over the Mackinaw Bridge, 2 trips to Myrtle Beach! We spent the night or nights in Windsor, to many times to count! My addiction peaked as Denny became ill! Once again, I praise God for therapy and recovery! January 3rd will be 4 years clean! The point I am making, as we got older, he still kept surprising me! Along with all of those outings, he always gave me a gift! I did the same for him! Look at each other, it does not matter how far you go back, what did you do then to make each other feel special? You should still be doing it! Everyone needs and wants to be treated like precious gold! I will forever remember how he always made me feel! Especially by the one you each made promises to! I know these things because, I stand guilty of neglecting our relationship and Denny would say the same thing! How I wish he could hold me! He is one of a kind! The mold was broken when he was made! Thank you God for such a wonderful, memory making man! Good night! God bless! Happy New Year!❤️🤗🎉🤗❤️We stayed home for that one!🎉🤗🎉🤗🎉And our family Christmas gift trip to Disney World! How could I forget that one!❤️a

Good evening! Friday blog! FB family and friends, and three different churches! I believe you have all been praying for us for a long time! We thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts! We are blessed from all of your likes and caring thoughts and words! I know it’s true when you know the faith and strength, when your mind, body and soul are at complete peace! The kind that passes all understanding! The farther this journey goes, the stronger I feel and am with the Lord! Barring a miracle, Denny is progressing in different ways everyday! All I wanted was for someone to come and get Denny to the living room! I would have stayed in the bedroom with Denny! I don’t spend much time in any other part of the house, except running around to get things together for Denny! He was tired after all of the festivities! Getting him in there was an answered prayer! The nurse said this morning, if his vitals continue to stay stable, on Monday he will be moved to level one! One person coming everyday! My Denny has always been a tough nut to crack! I am beside him most of the time when he is awake! I have a monitor on until bed! I believe with all of my heart that prayers are being answered for us and our family! So, I ask tonight for all to continue praying! I know for us older folks getting on our knees is a stretch! But, if you can, I urge you! It’s like electricity! Everything in you and about you becomes only you and God! On your knees is like a direct line to heaven! That’s how strong praying like that is! At the moment Denny is awake, we are watching some TV! Almost bedtime, even though we are already in bed! Lol! God is good! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎉🤗❤️Happy New Year!🎉🎉🎉

Christmas Day!❤️🎄🎄🎄❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! I am at a loss for words! Denny continues to hold his own! As you can tell, I like to look up a lot of written things or tributes! Here is a couple until tomorrow! God is good! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! Merry Christmas! I pray that you all experienced a day as full as mine! How can my heart be so full and yet shattered at the same time? Every time I think there are no more tears, fooled again! Denny spent some time in the living room today! A nurse came and put him back in bed! A good sized male nurse! Hospice is taking very good care of him! I am pretty sure you have all heard the song Last Christmas, it’s a secular Christmas song! My favorite one! My favorite Christian song, Oh Holy Night! It’s funny, not haha! I felt I was experiencing that song today! I have been blessed with the most wonderful,caring,and loving family! Each family took pictures with Dad-Papa! Denny has never felt that he was a special person! All of his family begs to differ! I wish he could see what we see! I love him beyond anything I have ever felt in my life! Or will ever feel again!we are starting to see pain on his face, Hear it We want no suffering for him! I cannot tell you enough how painful this is! When your life is starting the climb to the other side! I am sure I will experience a time frame that says, I need to let go! God bless each and every one of you! If you are fortunate enough to still have your spouse! Praise God and let that person know how much they mean to you! No regrets! I wish each and every one of you a very Happy New Year! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️Our daughter had this pillow made for me, to get from her dad! She is his elf! Those are our signatures from past cards! We always signed the same! Thank you Lord Jesus for all of your blessings!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Short and sweet tonight! I don’t think that I have ever felt this kind of tired, my eyes, my mind, inside me is tired! I am not complaining! It’s a gift to take care of the man, that gave us everything! My mind today has pondered many things! Past, present and future! That’s the one I do not want to see! Follow the star to Jesus! Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight! I love Christmas! Make memories tomorrow! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! My eyes are going shut as I type! It was great to take a walk like I used too! I’m sure it added to my tiredness! So, just as Denny’s days are all different, so Christmas will be different! My sewing projects did not get done! My cookies did not get baked! No grocery shopping, no pies and no dinner! The kids are taking care of everything! My priorities have definitely shifted! In all reality, unless God wants me first, this, at the moment seems like it will be his last! How painful to even think it! I started grieving back in 2013! I’m sure our children did too! Besides family, an aide is coming! We are taking Denny to the living room to see the tree and watch the the kids open presents! It will be emotional! God will hold us up! We will make it full of beautiful memories! I grieve something everyday, every time I look at him! I love him so! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! When facing something like this horrible disease, our children are clinging to memories! As I am also! Out came the photo books! My heart swells with love and pride for I know what it is like to lose a Father! That is why our Heavenly Father is so very important! I can’t wait for morning! For Jesus and coffee! Both give me a jumpstart on the day! They go perfect together! In my humanness, morning and night I feel as if my heart is bleeding! In my faith, I feel unstoppable! I need some sleep! Sharing some photos tonight from past Christmases! Good night! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! Parkinson’s is at it again! Consistently his vitals are good everyday! As morning moves on, he falls into something that does not look good to us! By afternoon he rallies and joins our world for awhile! Even kind of feisty today with words! Those are the moments we grab after we pull it together! Emotions run high! When the kids give us private time, I sing Amazing Grace in his ear! Who doesn’t love that song! Gives me strength as well as Denny! Some Christmas music in the morning! The aide stayed with Denny a little longer, so I could go Christmas shopping! I am fast, when I know what I want! My list was done weeks ago! First I have driven since December 3rd, my B-day! Felt strange! Today is also my B-day, I accepted Jesus as my Savior! December 21st, 1980! Praise God, he has taken me back a few times! At the end of the day, praise God, look for the blessings! God is good! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! Well, we all know how I feel about Parkinson’s! It is not without its surprises! Never give up! What seemed like a very rough start to our day, for all of us, turned out pretty special! Barring a miracle, and in all reality, this is probably Denny’s last Christmas! In my mind I still wanted to keep as many traditions as I could! This morning I packed up my sewing and put it all away! I put my mixer back on the shelf, the butter back in the fridge! How ever long God gives me, I can cook and bake! Denny’s time is right now! We have a tiny tree in our room! I will spend Christmas on my bed, right next to Denny! Kids can bring or order what they like and want! I like cheese and crackers! A small Open House for our family! Especially bring your best memories of Christmas’s on Butler St. Let’s not forget Jesus the Reason for the Season! Denny is my gift under the tree and my Angel on top of the tree! This Christmas will have all of the true meaning! My family is all the gift I need! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! From the beginning of Denny’s diagnoses, I knew we would face something! You do not know what to expect! No two people are alike! Everyone progresses differently, at any point in time! You can read about it! Still, you cannot quite grasp, a person being taken down, piece by piece, bit by bit! It is beyond words what we see everyday! I wish my I love you’s could take it all away! If I could give his body back, the way it used to be! Help me God to let it go! To make his pain go away! I wish Denny could get up, the way he used to do! But, no, Parkinson’s took it all away! Denny cannot move on his own now! My heart is shattered, yet, I know I will survive! I think of special days with my grandkids, sporting events, choir, band soccer, wrestling, basketball, plays! I have missed a lot these past few years! Sometimes I feel guilty, thinking of things without Denny! We have missed out on a lot because of this disease! A thief! Robbing us of many things! God is my map, He will keep me and guide me through! I am tired to my bones! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I swear I blinked! It all went by so fast! Our wedding picture and 40th Anniversary picture hang in our bedroom! I look at those 4 people, and ask myself, where did they go and so quickly! Every time I look in his eyes and it is a lot! Those beautiful blue eyes! I ask him, where did the years go? He just shakes his head! He is starting to be more at peace! I only cried twice today! We were young, we were crazy, we made choices that ended with painful consequences! Time moves on, forgiveness took over and our love, our commitments to each other grew stronger! We do not recommend that road! God is faithful! He faithfully and patiently waited for us to get our act together! What a faithful Creator we have! I call our life together a miracle! Do not give up on each other! God will make away, when there seems to be no way! We are living proof! Yes, we were young! Now we are mature! We have weathered many storms! Through storms and the sun, the rainbow appears! Gods promise! The peace of God! Denny did well today, we all smiled! Him too! Appreciate the little things! Thank you again our family, for being ever faithful in being here for us and with us! Goodnight! God bless! ❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Goodnight! Tuesday blog! God bless! The angels are coming soon!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️Thank you again, my wonderful family!❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! Cannot wait to go to sleep! Our children and grandchildren all last evening and all day today! Life is so precious! Please take care of yours! Goodnight! God bless! Thank you to our wonderful family!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️God is in control anyway! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻God is always good!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Goodnight again! Sunday blog! This overwhelming tiredness is awful! Crying is my new norm! Family visits today! My favorite time! God bless all of you! I love our family tree and it starts with Denny’s roots of love and all of our beautiful branches! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Goodnight! God bless! I am just plain tired! I will write tomorrow!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! Let’s start with, I have never been one to ask for help! I don’t know when it came about! But, I am only talking about me here! I have always thought others would judge me! Think I am weak! I know that’s not true! What I really wish I could do, is sit down and hold him in my arms and make it all go away! This is a booboo I cannot kiss away! So my family members are worried about me! How much can one person do in a day and not take any time for ones self! So it was with much prayer, heart and soul searching, I changed Denny’s care to hospice care, comfort for him and respite for me, with our same care company! Denny is not at end of life care! I won’t lie anymore, my days are getting longer and fuller with needs! Not complaining! This new transition will free up time for me! Even saying it, makes me feel selfish! I also know that is not true! Some negative thoughts came creeping in! I want and need time with my kids and grandkids and let’s not forget our new bundle of joy! Continued prayers for us as I let go of the reins! God is in control here! Let go and let Him! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! To my Denny, there is no other like you! You, stirred my soul like nothing I have ever felt! Giving birth to my children is a whole different stirring! Then grandchildren, the stirrings are different again! And our new little man my first great grandchild! A whole new stirring! It all went so fast! But Denny! He made my heart beat fast! Butterflies, chills, goosebumps! And in our minds, we thought we had forever! I am devoted to Denny, but I am also devoted to Jesus! He is the way to Denny and I being together for eternity! My devotion to both is not hopeless! Whoever gets to the other side first, will be waiting with bells on! What a day of rejoicing that will be! But right now, here on earth, pain and suffering are tests and trials to make our walk stronger! It takes a lot of chipping to make the perfect diamond! Stand up against it, you will shine! Goodnight Denny my love! You have always been the brightest diamond! You will forever shine! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! The winds of change are coming faster than I thought they would! With changing days, come changing moods, Denny’s and mine! Shifting sands can take you down! Swallow you! As positive as I believe I am, the mental pain of the day makes me feel like a big wave has knocked me down or fall into a black hole! My days are getting longer, yet I feel I have no time, for time! Does that even make sense? I have plenty of things to keep me busy and to prepare for the birth of Jesus! His beautiful name, I say all day long! In between the things I do to keep us rolling, I run in and out of the bedroom saying I love you! He has to hear me, he has to know, I want him to know, to believe it always! I’ll never be able to tell him enough! The wind will keep blowing, until everything is as God wants it! Not one can begin to explain the things in life, that hurts to your very core! You would not believe how much Kleenex I go through in a day! I love him so much! With each passing day, I get another crack in my heart! The winds are changing, I do not have to like it! But, for all of my sorrow this moment, I can hear Gods comforting whispers! His voice whispers through the trees! His voice whispers with each wave or ripple I see on the lake! I hear Him when the leaves are dancing all over the ground! All constant reminders, that He controls the universe and everything in it! So, as strong as my sorrow is tonight, my joy is stronger! Continue to pray for us please! The winds of change are all around us! God is still good! God is on the throne! I’m sharing a little Pooh tonight! He knows all about the winds of change, on his blustery days! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️🙏🏻

Good evening! Tuesday blog! Yes! I love those three! I think about it a lot! I tell Denny and mom, don’t talk about yourself like that! You are insulting God! To get through any kind of recovery, you have to work on yourself! You cannot go through all of the work it takes to truly clean out all of the ugliness you have been hiding behind and then call yourself a dummy! Do not keep falling into the pity pit! You would not believe the things I use to say to myself! I will say it again, it is hard being a spouse and caregiver! Sometimes you say the wrong thing, that’s when you need to love yourself the most! Talk to yourself! Be a comforting friend to yourself! We are our own worst enemies! Talk to yourself, be kind to yourself! You might have a rough road to navigate! Who is going to give me a pep talk, when I am standing here crying, maybe I don’t even know why I am crying! Comfort in these areas do not come from Denny anymore! Sometimes you need a hug! I talk to myself, I answer myself to! Whatever I need! God and I have good things to say to one another! His words and promises to me and you are profound! God helps me in all of these areas! I use to be pretty hard on myself with ugly words! How is your light going to shine for others, if you can’t speak nicely to yourself! I do plenty of wrong in a day, time for a pep talk from me to me! Most of my life, I felt like a stupid dummy! Not true!!!!!! I love all of the things I can do! Recovery helped me love me and forgive me! Know one has to like me or love me! Those are facts! God has so much more to say about me! My feelings about myself did not change overnight! It was baby steps! One thing at a time! Stop beating yourself up over the past! What good does it do? I visit all of the feelings I have had over the years! It’s ok to do that! But, I do not stay there long! I am not that scared child that I use to be! The old Marilyn was very sad! Happiness is a choice! I am not looking for praise! You only have one life, live it well and be kind to yourself first! Put on a smile and be your best version of you! God loves you right where you are! Amen! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! Blog bio! A few years back, one of our youngest granddaughters was looking for and at blogging! She came up with some pretty funny stuff herself! I found it interesting! So I came up with my own idea! No plan, no thoughts! And the granddaughter made me feel foolish! Lol! I do not say that or think anything bad about it! I had not gone through recovery yet, so, really! What was I going to write about? How to be an addict, how to stay negative, how to blame others for my faults, hurt everyone I love and walk away from God! You get the picture! All of the wrong reasons! After recovery, not perfect, just better choices, to help me see the difference in making better choices and two ways to choose and see things! Look at myself, change me, not others! But share, I love sharing how you can turn everything around, even when facing your darkest days! My heart is full, my joy and happiness in the Lord and my life are complete! I love all of you! I love social media! Not to air dirty laundry! But, I have a past, a colorful one at that! Some things were inflicted on me, somethings I chose, with very serious consequences! Then the wounds from all of it, the baggage it all creates, the painful scars, how it starts to pop up like an ugly, fire breathing dragon! I was a ticking time bomb! Undiagnosed bipolar and very poor choices and thinking! With a million excuses! I found through all of this healing process, if I can, anybody can! I love writing! All of the things I did not like in school, I love now! So, my thank you tonight is to each and every one of you who have looked or taken a peek at my blog! For sure I write from my heart! Writing itself can be a healing! It has for me! I hope you will continue to take a peek! Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Denny, our life and what we face every day! Your encouragement and support mean so much! I get excited in the morning when I see who took a look! Thank you! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! Do you ever look at your spouse, partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend? Do you wonder, are we soulmates? It’s no secret that Denny and I have been through troubled waters! One of my friends from church, her parents told us, you cannot be apart! You are peanut butter and jelly! You are Mac and cheese! She said, you absolutely cannot have one without the other! They are both gone! I always thought that was a cute way to put belong together! I have often felt, we are like two puzzle pieces! It has to be a perfect fit! Not a perfect life! There is no such thing! If you are looking for perfect, you won’t find it! Do you only see flaws in the other person and none in yourself? You are the only one that can change your own flaws! Pray for the other one! Seek Gods guidance for your life! Pray for the spouse, partners always, before you even know them! Soulmates are so close you know what the other is thinking! You know all of the big and small details of each other, that takes place every day! Count your blessings! It’s not the end of the world if he does not remember your kind of cream! What really matters, when you get so frustrated by something that he, she, said, grab their, shoulders, hands, face, lovingly! When you are so angry, feel so hurt, or betrayed, that’s when you need to hug them the most, say I love you anyway and pour on forgiveness! Love them right where they are! Hate the sin, love the sinner! Denny and I, we are not perfect! Regret is an awful thing! Never part angry! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! Our granddaughter posted this grandma picture today on FB! Immediately I was in tears! Thinking about my own grandmas and of course our 40 years on Butler St! When our grandchildren were the norm daily! My oldest granddaughter, who just gave birth, was with us everyday from the time she was born, then her sister! Then several years down the road, three more came! I never tired of them being with me! They did not tire from being with me either! It’s a fact, a special bond takes place between grandmas and grand babies! It’s on our daughter in laws face, that glow! Of course grandpas have it too but grandmas are a little different! So with this picture, memories from the old house! As positive as I try to stay, I miss that old house and all of the memories it held! Know one can take your memories! They will always be in my heart! God stamps them there! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🎄🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! Did Parkinson’s take walking away from me? Did it give me excuses? I stopped my B-12 shot, that is something my body needs! Really, I started walking for my health! A very good, positive choice! I make sure I do it when there is a hospital stay! But, lately, one choice, was causing me problems! I was feeling, frustration, resentment, trying to lay blame for my positive choices falling by the wayside! Getting out of bed did not feel the same! I never get a headache, everything started feeling stiff and sore! I was saying things like, I don’t know how I am going to walk! Get across town for my shot! So, even though Parkinson’s is still hanging around, I do not have Parkinson’s! It all takes being very organized! I have Denny all finished with everything he needs done, by 7:00am, I have all of my things laid out! He needs to be safe and secure and I need to stay sane! I also need to trust Jesus! Stop letting the world of illness take over! God is good always! He will make a way, when there seems to be no way! That comes with good, healthy choices! We reap what we sow! Where there is a will, there is a way! It’s only been 2 days, but how wonderful it feels! I had my shot also! My priorities, Denny first and done! Then my turn for 1 hour! Yaaaay! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday blog! I cannot stop counting my blessings! Every time I start counting, I start crying! Surprise, surprise!!! My life has become so full, so rich! Sometimes I stare in the mirror, and ask myself, what did you do to deserve all of these blessings? Well, first, turning my life back over to Jesus! All the rest is His doing! At this stage of Denny’s illness! I’m feeling stuck! My walking stopped, my B-12 shots stopped! Nobody made me stop these things! I think I stopped trusting Jesus! I was what ifing, two words I am very much against! So easy to get sidetracked! I do not want negative choices in my life! Takes you down! I might have said Lol about my walk! But I did feel like a free bird! I wasn’t locked up! My cage is open! I might not always get to do some things, but, I still choose them! This new little guy I have in my life, the one just born on my B-day! I will need lots of energy for him also! So, Thanksgiving was such a blessing! Watching the football game was a blessing! Getting the house decorated for my birthday, a blessing! My birthday is now an even bigger blessing, with my first great grandchild born on my day!💙Denny getting home for my birthday, big, big blessing! My life is rich, I do not want to complain! I love every single one of my family! I consider each one quite an accomplishment! When I see them, their smiles! Showers of blessings, sent from heaven above! From our God, who gives generously! Thank you Jesus! Please take care of my family! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! I got the go ahead to share my secret B-day gift! My 1st great grandchild was born yesterday at 5:12am! When I held him! No words! My heart and soul were crying with Joy! He is beautiful! I only share Denny’s name on my blog! Not my kids or grandkids, nor this little gift! He had a November date, but, he waited for my day! How special! He is the cake and icing too! He can blow out my candles, when I don’t have the wind anymore! My granddaughter, his mommy, what a champ! She labored since Sunday to yesterday morning, c-section! Prayers for an easy recovery! Both parents though, look wonderful and soooo in love, now that their little man is here! God bless their family, they will be great parents! All of the family members on all sides have been waiting impatiently for him with stars in our eyes! I am over the moon! I am also tired! We did have my favorite B-day food, pizza and chocolate cake! Our kids always bless me with very thoughtful gifts! We also have an elf that brings me gifts from Denny! A truly blessed day I had! God is good and miraculous! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗💙🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! I am only going to say, my Birthday was the best ever! Transport brought Denny home! But, so much more took place! I will share, all in due time! Thank you all for the most beautiful Birthday wishes ever! Love you all from the bottom of my heart! Goodnight! God bless!!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Monday blog! Yes, I am tired! Weary tired! Tomorrow is my Birthday! I don’t say this for lots of B-day wishes! But, I think I have made it clear in the past that Birthdays, anybody’s, are very special indeed! It is not just another day! For me, God has a purpose for each of us! We should never stop looking, seeking, asking God, what and where is my purpose in this life! All of the times now that we have sat together in the ER, a hospital room, a nursing home or rehab center with our children! The love on their faces is so evident! We made a lot of mistakes! But, they see past that! They see a man, their father, that worked tirelessly for his family! They appreciate him! I always made his B-day special, as he did mine! When he became ill, I do my own B-day! We had pizza, my favorite food! Sometimes I do my own cake, most of the time it was Haas Bakery! Yummy! Tomorrow is still the day I was born! Cannot stop that! I treated myself tonight, with a manicure and pedicure! Ooooohhh, my feet feel wonderful! But, all day today, I thought of my childhood B-days, and a few that have left a lasting memory, one in particular stands out! Understand, if you never had the pleasure of any kind of birthday or surprise, it is still the day God chose for you to be here! That makes you a special child of God! My sister and I have our B-days close to holidays! I am about 3 weeks before Christmas, my sister is around 3 weeks after! Not a lot of money back then for both! I always wanted a cake! Sometimes I came home from school to nothing, I would be so disappointed! Then mom would open the closet and there’s my cake! I loved that cake! Homemade chocolate with creamy cooked icing! Oh my gosh, good! Now, the stand out memory from my dad! I loved the song, This Guys In Love With You, by Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass! Oh my! My dad knew it! He came home with that record for me! 45 cents! I really loved it, but I didn’t tell him! My story tonight! Tell your parents what you appreciate before it’s too late! No matter how small! Whatever it was, it was a way to show love! Maybe the only way they knew how! Thank you dad for that memory, on my special day! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Sunday blog! Things can happen quickly when a person is dealing with an illness! This is the 3rd time Denny has had low sodium! It alters a lot of things! The nurse did not even recognize! But we knew we needed the squad! They packed him up quickly, I mentioned sodium! The symptoms are scary, when stroke gets mentioned all the time! Confusion is awful! When it is replenished, he does not remember a thing! So my fear jumps in and I think about the Parkinson’s, must be progressing! Not always true! I think the tube is stirring up just as much trouble! Especially if his water flush is taking the sodium away! We want sodium tablets! Such a fine line to keep in balance! I feel like a juggler! So, I am going to start putting some signs up in our room! Jog my memory! Whatever it takes, to keep him in balance! I started this in the ER! I am tired! So finishing up! I need to stop and survey all of the questions where Denny is concerned! Follow what I know is right for us! A person can drown in overthinking! Think about it! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Saturday blog! What’s in a testimony? When Jesus comes calling, you really need to answer the call! Do not question the Lord! You might not like His answers! I was a very sad young woman! Only, I did not know it! Why! Because I thought I knew everything! I jumped from one thing to the next, thinking each new and different thing in my life, would bring and give happiness! Our son was 7, our daughter was 2! The kids and I had been going to church with friends from down the street! I became involved in a lot of things, but it would be 2 years before I accepted Christ! We were involved in everything! Wonderful young, raising children, Sunday school class! I had never had close relationships like this before! December 21st, 1980, we waited to long to get a Christmas tree! Denny was not involved at all! Sunday evening church I was telling everyone how we could not find a tree! Gods plan! Not a Christmas tree on any lot that we went to! One of the gals from Sunday school said, we are leaving tomorrow for holiday vacation! If you want to come help take it down, you can have it! I was stunned by her generosity! So I went! Along with the tree I was introduced to Jesus! I had really been searching! We had one trial after another! God does not stop! Life became very different with Christ at the center of our family! But the trials did not stop! It was like one wave after another! Denny accepted Christ 2 years after me! In 1989 he became ill, had to retire! That was the start of our bipolar issues coming out! To make a long story short! God does not walk away or forget you! You are the one lks away! You all know my gambling issues and recovery! I made my way back to Jesus in spring of 2016! I thought that I had become unforgivable! That is never true! A lot of garbage has touched Denny’s and my life! Some bad choices, some consequences! But, God and His promises never change! So, I this season of our life, I cling to God in all things about all things! He prepares the way! Your only ticket to heaven is Jesus and the perfect plan of grace and mercy that He extends to all! Do not look to humans or material things! They are fleeting and taken in many different ways! My faith, hope, joy, love, happiness, all come from Him! I live and breathe His name all day! Jesus, name above all names! Taste and see that He is good! My story! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Friday blog! I can’t wait to put the tree up and the Nativity! I love seeing the baby Jesus every day! I do like visuals! I think of the baby Jesus often! Laying in a barn with farm animals! If that story came across the news, people would be shocked! Probably say bad things about the parents! Not wondering once, why, who would do such a thing, on a cold night! God, that’s who! The very person that put this beautiful, miraculous life of Jesus into motion! The Trinity is the miracle! Sent to earth for you and I to lay our burdens on! I would be a living, breathing mess, with no where to turn! If Denny and I were the only one’s on earth, this plan would still take place! Thats how wonderful our God is, how great His love is! I wish Christmas could be every day! That excitement, anticipation and wonder! To see if there is a gift! Well it is! The gift of Jesus! Gives me butterflies in my stomach! So, as we approach this holiday season, let us be mindful of how it all began! For you and I! If I had to get up everyday and look at all of the things at once that need attention! I would never be able to climb a few feet, let alone a mountain! I’m climbing a mountain everyday! With Gods Grace and Mercy extended to me! If you have a mountain, it’s not impossible to climb! The horizon is on the other side! Look to the baby Jesus! He will point the way! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Thursday Thanksgiving blog! Special beyond words! Our kids and grandkids are pure gold! Every moment, every look at them, is a golden memory! Engraved on my heart forever! I am blessed beyond measure! I am also very tired! I hope your day was as beautiful as ours was! From God, the giver of all! Picked out a couple of quotes to share! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Wednesday blog! Here we are, Thanksgiving Eve! How can that be! Where did this year go? And, go so fast! In the old days, when we were raising kids, even as young as we were, a lot was happening in our lives! So when January would come, we would actually say, this year will be so much better! How can anyone make such a claim? In fact we would go through more! It was a while before we got it straight! And, never at the same time! Growing up, we had big holidays at my grandparents! Her pies were picture perfect, and tasted just as good! My mom did the same! When the families started to grow, my sister and I branched off and started doing our own! I grew to love pie baking from scratch! I wanted everyone to have what they liked! So five or six pies was not a big deal! Plus I did it very early! Today did not start out the best! No ones fault, it just is! Then we had a Dr. appointment, with a good report! A therapist at three! I wanted to bake, I want my family together! So I used Pillsbury pie crust! What? How easy! Not to mention with Denny not eating, I really down scaled our meal! Only two pies and one from my cousin! So I have been thinking! What really matters? Not six pies, not homemade crust! Denny! Our kids, our grandkids, soon to be great grandchild! Beagle, extended family! Why does it take a storm in life to open our eyes! I cannot stress it enough! Be thankful, be grateful! We pass this way only one time! If you are breathing, you still have time for change! I am not saying I will never make homemade again! Not this time! So many more important things! God bless each and every one of you! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Fill your day with family, friends and love! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️

Good evening! Tuesday blog! In all things, all situations, just because, God is our Heavenly Father! He alone deserves and yearns for every single part of us, every breath we take! The Lord gives, He also takes! Not in a mean or nasty way! Everything we do and have comes down from Him, through Him! The Holy Spirit intercedes for us! It’s quite a relationship that God Himself planned and created! Father, Son, Holy Spirit! As sad as I felt and was last night, I do not lose faith! God knew what was going to happen long before we were even thought of! One of my favorites, God formed me in my mother’s womb, He knows me and sets me apart! Jeremiah 1:5 NIV You cannot be more special than that! Gods plans are perfect, always! No second guesses! Since it is Thanksgiving week, I am counting my blessings! But I do that anyway! This week is a great reminder! When we struggle, we are strong! This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! Psalm 118:24! Another favorite! It’s also one of my favorite songs! Thank you Dear God in Heaven, for my life, Denny’s life, and everything you gave us, and allowed to make us and prepare us for where we are right now! It’s only for a little while and Joy comes in the morning! Psalm 30:5 I am thankful for all of you and your continuous thoughts and prayers for us! Special places in my heart for all of you! Much love! Goodnight! God bless!❤️🤗🤗❤️