Sad Or Glad Day…….. You Decide

Good evening. Wednesday blog. After Grief Share last week, I have been analyzing my moods and feelings! I myself am not living a sad or defeated life. My spouse of 42 years, total time together was 45 years. I am sad. No other way to describe it. It hurts to my very core! I also have happiness everyday. Because I decide how the day will be. I could sit and cry all day and make myself sick. Not a very good example or witness! My Psychiatrist tells me, she thinks I am amazing. Quite a compliment! My Recovery Therapist says, I am a strong woman. If anything was going to take me down, it would be what I am going through. Believe me, I did not go through all of that to rise above, to hurt and disappoint my whole family and once again be a bad example. Death does not have to break you, it can make you! That was my plan all along. My granddaughter told me the other night, she is proud of me and how far I have come! No way am I destroying that. So, I will keep pushing forward with deliberate decisions for each new day. For each new day is a new slate. Amen! The past few days, although still tears, they have been great days. Filled with fun, love and family. Life goes on. I can still miss him through all of that. We decide. Make your decisions count. God is good. It’s ok to not be ok, once in awhile. God understands! I decide, God has 1st place always! Good night. God bless.❤️🤗🙏🏻🤗❤️